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Original poster

How rude is this! Kid's party

254 replies

firethene · 04/02/2024 17:32

Sent out invites for my DD's party this afternoon in November.

Most responded yay or nay straight away, one parent didn't. Fine, I didn't think anything of it. I then bumped into her on the school run and mention if 'Ida' could come or not, she said yes.

A few days ago I sent out another text to everyone who had said yes reminding them to sign the venue's waiver thing - this parent read and didn't reply.

'Ida' didn't show up at the party meaning we'd paid for her place for nothing (in the region of about £25 per head). Also did food and party bags etc.

Aibu in thinking if you don't want to come, just bloody decline?

OP posts:
Riverlee · 05/02/2024 21:09

If the party was today, I wouldn’t send the invites out until early January. November is much too early, or send out a reminder a couple of weeks back.

sorry, just re-read that you did send out a second message.

Butchyrestingface · 05/02/2024 21:26

Alwaysalwayscold · 04/02/2024 17:37

Yes it's rude to RSVP yes and then just not turn up without contacting to let you know.

But you could see this woman was flakey..

If she called her wean 'Ida', she's more than flakey... Grin

Original poster
firethene · 05/02/2024 21:27

Mama1209 · 05/02/2024 19:24

Yes it’s rude & inconsiderate, but it happens unfortunately. Are you married? If not your in for a big shock if you do get married because you pay a lot more than £25 and people don’t turn up!! It’s all part of arranging events I’m afraid. There’s always a few that cancel or don’t attend.

Yep, and had a work mate pull out two days before the wedding. £250 that cost me, £125 a head

OP posts:
Bunnycat101 · 05/02/2024 21:28

Some people are flakey. It is not difficult to let the host know you’re not going to turn up. There are a couple of kids who have done it and unfortunately don’t tend to be the ones invited to the bulk of things. A poster up thread said about weddings. We had a family of 4 be a no-show. I was well pissed off as I’m sure my friend actually forgot about the bloody wedding as she only confirmed her non attendance after I’d posted something on Facebook to say I was excited. She didn’t even send me a card in the post. I’d have much rather she’d declined as it cost me loads and we were tight on space so could have used those spaces. It’s just rude and inconsiderate.

NinetyNineRedBalloonsGoBy · 05/02/2024 21:46

Ida's mother was RUDE.

You shouldn't have to send reminders to adults Hmmbut you did and she still did not show.

I'd text her tbh, just tell her you won't be risking £25 by inviting Ida next year.

And your OP was not ambiguous if you read it properly Wink

CrazyLadie · 05/02/2024 21:47

When my son was 1 we had a party at the local soft play and invited everyone from his nursery, I got one resvp saying they come the night and not one single person came and I had to pay for all that kids as I didn't have parents numbers etc, I was a single Mum and it wasn't cheap

Elaina87 · 05/02/2024 22:40

You're not unreasonable. I don't understand some parents, they're just rude or weird or useless.

Saddlesore · 05/02/2024 23:04

A few years ago my son wanted a paint balling party and I sent out invitations to his wish list of friends. A few days before the event the parent of one of the children who was invited contacted me to say that another child in my son’s year (who hadn’t been invited) was spending that day with them and could an invitation be extended to that child too. The child in question wasn’t a close friend of my son, but my son (being kind) said it would be fine to include them. I was slightly peeved at being put in that position, but was seriously peeved when the parent rocked up with both children… but hadn’t thought to bring a birthday card or present…

BlueGrey1 · 05/02/2024 23:18

I would have taken the no response to mean no she wasn’t coming and wouldn’t have asked her, and the no signing the waiver as a definite no

Blondeshavemorefun · 05/02/2024 23:38

Nov for feb isn't that mad as I've sent end of jan for April as Easter holidays for dd bday

Plus venue gets booked up

But yes rude

Dd party is price per child and I did say that in my text that I needed a def yes or no as pay per child

So yes I would have asked the mum what happened

Or asked all to confirm Coming as paying per child

SocksMcR · 05/02/2024 23:50

Just out of curiosity,was there a reason you particularly wanted her kid there?

Stopsnowing · 05/02/2024 23:57

i used to make people rsvp if they wanted the venue name

Tiredmama53 · 06/02/2024 00:04

Did you send out reminders? That's so far in advance with a lot going on in between (Christmas, back to school etc) I bet she just forgot. It's happened to me before and I literally remembered the week after and had to send a huge apology text to the mum.

Couldntthinkofausername24 · 06/02/2024 00:21

Its my daughters party at the end of this month and I sent invites out first week of January. How hard is it to just say yes or no and stick to it? Unless something drastic happens then I would message the party host and offer to pay for my child's place. For all you know there could have been a limit of numbers allowed and so another child xoukd have taken their place

It is so so rude.

One of my child's nursery friends parents was like 'oh yeah dunno where the invite is soz, you'll have to send another' I didn't and he is no longer invited

Totally with you on this @firethene cheeky twats

Bournetilly · 06/02/2024 01:08

Extremely rude, thankfully it was only the one person but I wouldn’t be inviting her next year (rubbish for the girl as not her fault).

It happened at my DDs party but luckily the venue said you pay per child that turns up so we didn’t lose any money.

pollyglot · 06/02/2024 04:47

Just curious, really...when did children's birthday parties become so expensive??

HarrietTheFireStarter · 06/02/2024 05:14

OP I think lots of us read it as you sending invitations last week for a party in November 2024 which does sound a bit bonkers.

But if you sent invitations last November for a party yesterday then that's perfectly fine and yes the other parent was very rude.

Original poster
firethene · 06/02/2024 06:30

SocksMcR · 05/02/2024 23:50

Just out of curiosity,was there a reason you particularly wanted her kid there?

No, just returning the invite

OP posts:
Original poster
firethene · 06/02/2024 06:30

Tiredmama53 · 06/02/2024 00:04

Did you send out reminders? That's so far in advance with a lot going on in between (Christmas, back to school etc) I bet she just forgot. It's happened to me before and I literally remembered the week after and had to send a huge apology text to the mum.

Rtft - you sound flakey

OP posts:
Original poster
firethene · 06/02/2024 06:31

HarrietTheFireStarter · 06/02/2024 05:14

OP I think lots of us read it as you sending invitations last week for a party in November 2024 which does sound a bit bonkers.

But if you sent invitations last November for a party yesterday then that's perfectly fine and yes the other parent was very rude.

How would I know if she didn't show up to a party that hasn't even happened yet?

OP posts:
Mothership4two · 06/02/2024 06:34

I can't even mention it! So frustrating hence I posted on here. The only thing I can do is not invite the (innocent) child next year.

I'm afraid I would have to say something or at least ask why they didn't come - not in a confrontational way. We have done these types of parties when DS were little and I would hound anyone who hadn't filled out the waiver form! It was never a problem though as everyone came.

I wouldn't have had a problem with an invite 8/9 weeks before a party. And it really is nobody's business how much you decide to spend on your child's birthday.

Mothership4two · 06/02/2024 06:35

How would I know if she didn't show up to a party that hasn't even happened yet?

That was what was so confusing initially. I had to read it several times until I got it.

Pancakedayisthebest · 06/02/2024 06:35

JaniceBattersby · 04/02/2024 17:47

I’ve done years and years of parties for my four kids. The best way to do it is book early but then don’t send invites out until 2 weeks max before hand. That way people are likely to be able to give a more accurate answer, feel a bit more pressure to answer promptly, are less likely to get a better offer. It was my ten-year-old’s birthday party yesterday afternoon. I sent the invitations ten days ago, got 15/15 replies and 13 of them could come. Honestly it cuts down on stress to do it this way.

My dd has a birthday around the same few weeks as 4 of her friends so if you want a party then it's a bit of a bun fight for getting invitations out first. I've suggested joint parties but none of the other parents are interested, annoyingly!

reluctantbrit · 06/02/2024 06:57

That was why I only ever did a party where I paid by child. Every other one we organised in a way that it didn't really matter if a cild came or not.

But yes, it's extremely rude. Saying that an invite for a children party 8/9 weeks in advance is risky, I am someone who is very thorough with our calendar but I know plenty who aren't and will definitely forget these things.

Copperoliverbear · 06/02/2024 07:09

Very rude and I d tell her so too, when I saw her.

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