Food portions and how to laugh this off??

[PenisPortions]

Help me dear mners, my dh is gaslighting me into accepting his penis portions and I need your stories of similar craziness to help me laugh it off..!

In laws came round, we had two large steaks for dinner. MIL wasn't keen on steak so we made her a stuffed pepper and sides so she was catered for and happy. FIL wanted half of one of the steaks, fine. Dh asked what I thought about that and I said yes fine we'll just share the rest. Dh looked confused for a bit and I said I think it's enough between the two of us to share the remainder.

FIL cooked the sides, DH bbqed the steaks (i was in with the baby), and I come out to see three plates of food. Two have half a steak on them and the third has a whole steak, which dh had claimed as his plate.

I was like ummm are you not splitting it? He said yes I did, and I kind of laughed in disbelief saying no you've given yourself twice the amount of food as me! He got really defensive, said this was what we agreed (not true), and got cross. I told him I was going to even things out, so cut off some of his, and he was so grumpy about it, saying he'd said he wanted a full one and I agreed to that. No "I'm sorry I misunderstood and under catered for you, let's split it like grown ups".

It is such a stupid little thing but keeps playing on my mind, what on earth was that?! Please tell me stories of similar imbalances that your partners have tried to get away with to help me put it into perspective.

You seem lovely

As reminded by the timehop today - years ago I had cooked 3 giant (literally the size
of a toddlers head!) jacket potatoes, split one between the two preschoolers with salad and beans and left the other two in the oven for after a
school event. Told husband jackets were in the oven, help yourself and I’ll eat when I get home. I got home to find he had eaten the two giant potatoes and a whole big tin of beans and was complaining that he was too stuffed to get up the youngest crying!

A whole tin of beans! I bet that night you were glad to get up ( and away from him!) 😕

It all sounds like a really awkward amount of food for who was there but nevertheless odd that he seemed stroppy about not giving you an equal amount. What does penis sharing mean?

I have the opposite, DH has always cooked for a coach load when hosting for a few friends and relatives. Fine, left overs we can all use but I do agree with him better to have e more than less, but not as much more as he makes! Grateful for him doing the cooking course, just hate waste, especially meat being a former vegetarian. Xx

LTB (can’t believe this wasn’t suggested immediately)

Grow up, the pair of you.

I believe someone beat you to it. I recall another poster pointing out that it seemed quite a heightened reaction to a bit of meat. In fact, one quarter of a fillet steak to be precise.

I hate tinned fish, that doesn’t mean I only eat steak and sweeties. I’m from Asia, I’m betting my cooked-from-scratch diet is way more healthy and varied than your tinned fish.

Why do you keep saying quarter? Your fractions are off.

No one will answer this it seems. Why was it ok to cut OP’s steak into 2 pieces to give FIL half but cutting DH’s steak into two pieces is ‘near decimation of a cut of meat that is pretty tiny to begin with’?

DH is completely in the wrong - but it does sound like a misunderstanding.

I think we all need around an average of 2oz of protein a day - so even half a steak was probably nutritionally enough for any of them. But that's not the point.....

Our funniest DH food story was before Christmas when DD's friend gave her a present which was a tube of mini bath bombs, each about an inch in diameter, all different colours. DH came in and thought they were bonbons. If only he'd asked DD first if he could have one........😂😂😂

All the cutting was bad. Clearly not enough food was provided.

Imagine being a guest and your hosts are fighting over meat in the kitchen like they’re facing some kind of famine.

They would have needed to cut 1/4 off the full steak to put with the half for them both to have an even amount.

🤣🤣🤣

I don’t think they are off.

Step it through. Two steaks, 3 people. FIL gets half of one so that leaves 1.5 steaks. The suggestion made by OP as I understand it was to divide this remaining 1 and a half steaks between the two of them . Thus, 1.5 divided by two means each of OP snd DH would receive 0.75 or three quarters of a steak. OP was given half a steak, so to top her up to her suggested quota DH needed to give her one quarter. In the event, DH kept the whole of the second steak so the contested chunk ( or the amount by which OP was shortchanged and which forms the basis of the dispute) is one quarter. Ie; to even things up DH needed to chop his in half then half again and keep one of the latter halves ( amounting to a quarter) and give the other quarter to OP . Or cut his whole steak into a kind of L-shape🙄. But it was really quite a small piece of meat at issue ( namely the corner cut out to form the L). I bet MIL felt like chucking it in a blender and serving them all mince.

@Untethered My point is that protein that would not normally be appetising will be if you are genuniely hungry. It is not really about hunger, it is about respect and indulgence.

I agree that's it's not about hunger but why all the hate for tinned fish here, I love it !

Because to achieve the desired apportioning the second one would have to be cut into smaller chunks than half. I’ve explained above - as has another poster,

It shows how complex the relationship with food is.
Very few people have experienced hunger, so they think that they would still prefer cake if they were hungry rather than feeling peckish or having a craving.

Then there is the manliness=meat thing, beloved of men who have no other way of feeling manly so rely on liking meat as their only qualification.
Then there is the relationship between status and respect and getting the good share of the prime cut of meat. Yet, the husband will not acknowledge that and most posters are making excuses for it.

I agree it shows the complexity of people’s relationship with food. I find the hurling of abuse ie he’s a greedy pig, thought provoking. Guarantee some of the folks doing it have issues with food themselves.

for me, as said, this whole thing is about the unedifying sight of two grown adults fighting over a small bit of steak, in front of guests, and giving them hardly any.

My partner l, dished up some food, I was at work. So mine was waiting for me in the microwave. I had about a handful of peas and 5 carrots. Plus about 10 chips.
I said to him, geez am I on a diet. That was toddler size portion. I ate it and then had to get a sandwich afterwards. As what he left me, was half what I normally eat.
Last night, I had made a, slow cooker meal, that just needed some potatoes. Normally have chips. Partner, did potato croquettes. But didn't leave any for me, he hadn't done any chips.
He said I didn't think you wanted the croquettes. I said there is no carbohydrates, he said it had beans in. But he wouldn't have eaten the meal without potatoes.

@Teenagehorrorbag splendid story about the bath bombs! What happened when he realised what he'd got in his mouth?

Once me and DH got a large pizza to share. He knows the usual deal, I'll have a couple of slices and then I'm done.

But this time I was starving. We'd just moved into a new flat, and had spent all day lugging boxes around. I ate a full half, no shits given.

He was gutted. Face like someone had pissed on his chips. He kept saying 'I can't believe you've eaten a whole half'. Obviously he knew he was being unreasonable but couldn't help himself.

We still joke about it now, that time I ate a whole half pizza. It was more than 10 years ago.

I think this is an exception, you should have probably said you were hungrier than usual and at least got an extra garlic bread or something!