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Original poster

Food portions and how to laugh this off??

608 replies

PenisPortions · 04/02/2024 01:01

Help me dear mners, my dh is gaslighting me into accepting his penis portions and I need your stories of similar craziness to help me laugh it off..!

In laws came round, we had two large steaks for dinner. MIL wasn't keen on steak so we made her a stuffed pepper and sides so she was catered for and happy. FIL wanted half of one of the steaks, fine. Dh asked what I thought about that and I said yes fine we'll just share the rest. Dh looked confused for a bit and I said I think it's enough between the two of us to share the remainder.

FIL cooked the sides, DH bbqed the steaks (i was in with the baby), and I come out to see three plates of food. Two have half a steak on them and the third has a whole steak, which dh had claimed as his plate.

I was like ummm are you not splitting it? He said yes I did, and I kind of laughed in disbelief saying no you've given yourself twice the amount of food as me! He got really defensive, said this was what we agreed (not true), and got cross. I told him I was going to even things out, so cut off some of his, and he was so grumpy about it, saying he'd said he wanted a full one and I agreed to that. No "I'm sorry I misunderstood and under catered for you, let's split it like grown ups".

It is such a stupid little thing but keeps playing on my mind, what on earth was that?! Please tell me stories of similar imbalances that your partners have tried to get away with to help me put it into perspective.

OP posts:
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12
BigFatCat2024 · 04/02/2024 11:38

FluffyFanny · 04/02/2024 10:20

Bloody hell!

Fillet steaks are never that big- they really only vary by thickness.

In my house I'd have let Dh have a whole one rather than faffing about trying to divvy up 3/4 of a steak- because it's not that big a deal, DH is bigger and always eats more than me at every meal, and I am generous and nice.

Actually though, it probably wouldn't have happened that way though because my FIL would never have accepted half of a fillet steal knowing there was meant to be a fillet steak each for DH and I, because he has far more manners than that and he would have had the lamb chops.

Would your DH do the same for you or does 'generous and nice' only go one way?

That's what people get pissed off about regarding penis portions, that it's always the women being 'generous and nice' and getting less of the good stuff to benefit men (and the expectation that it's that way round)

Appollo555 · 04/02/2024 11:39

PenisPortions · 04/02/2024 02:29

There was enough food in the house. It was agreed that we wouldn't cook the lamb chops as well, since fil only wanted half a steak and the remaining meat was enough to be shared between two. I think fil had a late lunch so really did only want that much.

This is specifically about dh seeing 1.5 steaks leftover and deciding not to share it equally between us.

Show quote history

Do you normally eat as much as him though? My DH would give me the last of anything but also knows I eat about a third to half of his portion sizes, just because I'm smaller and can't fit it all in.

But if that's not the norm for you then yes, it's cheeky.

Paw2024 · 04/02/2024 11:39

shearwater2 · 04/02/2024 10:38

Will people stop repeating the nonsense that by default men need more calories or protein? It entirely depends on the individual.

That ^^

I'm 5ft 10 and do a lot of cardio and weights
If I had a partner who is 5ft 7 and works in a sedentary job and does no exercise, he doesn't need more food than me

Loopytiles · 04/02/2024 11:40

DH was selfish to take the steak, and you were both rude hosts to have behaved like that in front of his parents.

roarrfeckingroar · 04/02/2024 11:42

My FIL did this when I was breastfeeding and we stayed at his. I said something every time. It stopped after a few meals. The entitlement gets to me.

We all have different metabolisms, I'm 5"4 and weigh 8 and a half stone / 54kg. I have a big appetite, especially when breastfeeding.

Blamethrower · 04/02/2024 11:44

InASnowGlobeSpinning · 04/02/2024 10:34

Women don't 'resent men not being hungry' @Sweden99 - they resent the default assumption always being that they should be the one to sacrifice, make do, martyr themselves for other people, go without so men never have to. Society conditions girls from birth to 'be kind', to always consider other needs before their own and to step back so other people (men) can take what they want first. That isn't to say that all women actually are selfless, but that society holds that up as a model of proper femininity. It tells girls to make less of themselves, always. And that's a message we should counter by showing girls that it is ok to be assertive and to state what you want - it's ok to want things in the first place! That doesn't mean being selfish, it means not rolling over and letting other people be selfish. Women get an astonishing amount of pushback when they try this.

👏👏👏👏

sensationalsally · 04/02/2024 11:45

It's all rather odd - why didn't you cut the steaks into strips? Serve them on one big platter and let everybody help themselves?

shearwater2 · 04/02/2024 11:45

Indeed. And also if I knew I was going to have a big steak or any big meal for dinner I'd eat less during the day and be ravenous and ready to enjoy it, and then would be hungry if I got a non-penis portion!

Hibernatalie · 04/02/2024 11:48

This isn't a thing at all in my world but for my grandparents generation it definitely was. DH's nan was hilarious for it - one roast potato and a small slice of meat per woman and then an absolute mountain of food per man. I think it is a bit of a thing for my parents generation too, but less so. I think my dad and brothers probably did have bigger portions when we were kids but that wouldn't happen now.

Sausage1989 · 04/02/2024 11:49

ChedderGorgeous · 04/02/2024 02:06

I'm not sure of your issue. We normally make a medium sized chicken last for 5 dinners in a working week.

Hahahahahahahaha!!!

MuchTooTired · 04/02/2024 11:49

My mum does penis portions, including serving the men first. Not sure why!

My BIL did the opposite, there were two plates so I automatically gave him the larger serving out of politeness (even though I was starving) and he looked at me as if I had grown another head and said for me to have the larger plate, he’ll eat when he gets home if he’s still hungry.

Jf20 · 04/02/2024 11:51

sensationalsally · 04/02/2024 11:45

It's all rather odd - why didn't you cut the steaks into strips? Serve them on one big platter and let everybody help themselves?

Absolutely, that would have been much more edifying than sitting fighting over a third of a steak,. Personally I’d have served it another day. But negotiating with your in-laws about how much of it they’d eat, then agreeing your share, then sitting fighting over it,so they could have two thirds each and giving the father in law half a one, is just toe curling.

TrishM80 · 04/02/2024 11:52

A woman shouldn't be eating the same portion size of a man, that's madness.

Paw2024 · 04/02/2024 11:53

TrishM80 · 04/02/2024 11:52

A woman shouldn't be eating the same portion size of a man, that's madness.

No it's not
What if the woman is 6ft and the man is 5ft 7?
She runs 10k for fun and he doesn't move off the sofa
We aren't all petite!

If the man needs more he can eat more sides, he doesn't need more of the best bits

Blamethrower · 04/02/2024 11:54

TrishM80 · 04/02/2024 11:52

A woman shouldn't be eating the same portion size of a man, that's madness.

No
It really isn't

Kalevala · 04/02/2024 11:55

Coldupnorth7 · 04/02/2024 09:05

Looks like there are some people here that would be guilty of offering the penis portion!

It's nothing to do with penises. I'd offer a young boy a smaller portion but a tall teenage boy a bigger portion than myself.

MissHoollie · 04/02/2024 11:56

One word . Men

They don't seem to think

Codlingmoths · 04/02/2024 12:00

Wigtopia · 04/02/2024 11:36

I was going to post exactly this. I don’t eat equal food to my DH for exactly this reason. I’m smaller than him so don’t require as much food.

Show quote history

On average, no that’s not true. Men don’t need more, the breastfeeding woman needs more protein and more iron than the man.

Food portions and how to laugh this off??
ChedderGorgeous · 04/02/2024 12:01

OP, could you have not supplemented your half steak with a massive salad? Did you use some of the chicken left overs also? We often have a lot left over at the end of the week tbh.

Original poster
PenisPortions · 04/02/2024 12:02

AinsleyHayes · 04/02/2024 09:10

Poor OP. I think she was hoping for a light-hearted thread full of anecdotes about the time DH ate an entire lobster / chateaubriand / fat ball all to himself.

Poor me indeed.

OP posts:
Codlingmoths · 04/02/2024 12:07

ChedderGorgeous · 04/02/2024 12:01

OP, could you have not supplemented your half steak with a massive salad? Did you use some of the chicken left overs also? We often have a lot left over at the end of the week tbh.

Umm. Is there some reason you know and we don’t that her Dh couldn’t have supplemented with salad? Is he allergic? Maybe the op should have shared all the steak between her and fil, there are probably chicken leftovers her Dh could have had so how could he have a problem with that? And if there aren’t chicken leftovers for gods sake the man can make himself a huge salad.

Seriously.

Iwasafool · 04/02/2024 12:07

I tend to have less meat than DH because I like veg and love potatoes so he'd have had the bigger steak and I'd hopefully have had a big salad and a baked potatoes and the smaller steak. But, big but, that is down to personal preference rather than sex. He would be happy with just a big, and I mean big, steak and I'd think that was disappointing.

Itslegitimatesalvage · 04/02/2024 12:07

Have you and your husband made up? Has he realised he was being a bit of a dickhead by assuming you would give your FIL half your meal and he could keep all of his?

Wigtopia · 04/02/2024 12:08

Codlingmoths · 04/02/2024 12:00

On average, no that’s not true. Men don’t need more, the breastfeeding woman needs more protein and more iron than the man.

Show quote history

Ah I missed where OP said she is breast feeding! Thanks for pointing that out.

Fallenangelofthenorth · 04/02/2024 12:08

Codlingmoths · 04/02/2024 12:00

On average, no that’s not true. Men don’t need more, the breastfeeding woman needs more protein and more iron than the man.

Show quote history

You're wasting your time @Codlingmoths. There's still gonna be 40 pages of people saying "I couldn't possibly eat more than a fork full of meat, I eat like a bird I do, that's why I'm so teeny tiny, unlike my strapping husband who I give all the choice cuts of meat to".

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