I’ll try and keep this as short as possible.
I’ve just entered my second trimester of pregnancy after 19 months of trying. During this time, my husband and I went through multiple fertility tests and were diagnosed with unexplained infertility. To finally fall pregnant naturally was a shock to say the least.
My best friend of 12 years very sadly had a miscarriage in November just days after I told her I was pregnant (she knew of our fertility struggles so I told her the very second I had my positive test). I was really supportive of her during this time and throughout this, she constantly reassured me that she wanted me to talk about my pregnancy with her as she knew how hard my journey was. I had early private scans that she always asked to see and she always celebrated me. I haven’t been bringing it up to her - we only talk about it when she brings it up so it’s on her terms. Throughout her pregnancy, I always ensured to be supportive of her too and I never let my own struggles get in the way of that.
Things were great between us, up until yesterday. I had a scan with the NHS and it went really well. I got to hear baby’s heartbeat and I sobbed because this is everything I’ve dreamed of. My best friend texted me before the scan to wish me good luck, and texted me immediately after to ask how it went. I told her it went really well. She read my text straight away and didn’t respond. I texted her to ask if she was ok and again, she didn’t respond. I asked other friends to discreetly check in and she told them all that she was fine.
Later that evening, my husband and I decided to announce our pregnancy via Instagram.
This morning, my best friend texted me telling me that she’s furious with me. She said I was very insensitive to her miscarriage by announcing my pregnancy, and said I should have ran it by her first. I replied explaining that I never meant to be insensitive, I was just excited, and I thought she wouldn’t mind as she’s always encouraged me to talk about my pregnancy. She then said that I am insensitive and told me that she doesn’t want me to talk about my pregnancy around her at all anymore, and also doesn’t approve of me posting anything about my pregnancy online. She said if I feel the need to post in future, I should run it by her first. She then finished by saying that our friend group all agrees that I’m insensitive. None of my friends have told me they’re glad my scan went well or have congratulated me on becoming pregnant. This makes me feel like my best friend is right and I just feel terrible.
I haven’t replied as I just don’t know what to say. I’ve been sobbing on and off all day with guilt. Am I insensitive? Should I have asked her if I was ok to post my pregnancy announcement? I just really don’t know how to handle this