To feel annoyed that those on UC have more disposable income

[nappyvalley2024]

Myself and DH both work full time and have one child in nursery that we are paying for. We have a household income of just under £100k. After taxes, mortgage, student loan, NI, pension deductions and bills we are not actually left with a huge amount of disposable income. We are in the south east.

Brother in law and his partner have just had their first baby and announced that SIL will not be returning to work for at least 3 years. BIL earns roughly £30k and they live in social housing (lucky them). They will get around £900 a month in UC + no childcare bill.

So whilst we are running around like headless chickens trying to keep on top of things and juggle professional jobs, house renovations and parenting. My SIL will have the pleasure of sitting at home with no stress enjoying her baby. (SIL is known to be very lazy and also took the whole of her pregnancy off sick due to anxiety.)

At this point I just feel so deflated, and am wondering what the point is of working hard and being self sufficient. Funny thing is in laws think we are the lucky ones, when I don't actually think we are here. The system needs to change as there is no incentive to work.

Are the statisticians of the ONS sufficiently educated for you? The ONS figures have median household income at around £32K for 2022. £100K is more than three times the median income.

The economically challenged are those who whinge about hardship on six figure incomes whilst pretending the large scale assets they are building up don't exist. Basic vocational training on household budgeting might be useful.

If you want parents on low incomes to stay in work then you will need to supply taxes to fund childcare and stop the shrinkage in childcare provision.

The day she found out she was pregnant was the day she got her sick note and didn't work for 9 months.

Yep, my daughter is living the life of luxury on her £300 a month.

Oh gosh, maybe you need to work harder and manage your money better.
Have you considered taking in ironing?

Hormones can have an effect on mental health. She had anxiety - maybe triggered by the pregnancy and issues around it, or maybe she already had it and it made it worse. She might not have shared a pre-existing condition with you. Wonder why?

oh man… you have actually dig around to find out this Op!!! you have way too much time on your hands

Start appreciating what you have. Living in social housing and relying on benefits isn't a great way to live. And 'choosing' not to go back to work if you're in a lower paid job often isn't a choice because childcare is so expensive.

Envy can eat you up, and I see you are being devoured. I struggle with it myself, though I am not envious of those on UC. Envious of some other people. But honestly it's a mug's game. I have made my choices and I have to live with them, or I can change them, but I may not be better off, because the grass is always greener.

Is it the same for your husband or are you doing too much of the family stuff?

I literally don't have time to breathe from 7am until 23.00

well you have time to start a thread on a Friday morning and post dozens of lengthy posts about your in laws 😂

When I did all the calculations, the mortgage allowance was 72p a week towards the interest, so it’s not the case that you can get housing allowance towards a mortgage in all areas

Count yourself lucky that you’re not earning just over the threshold to qualify for any benefits. Also not all of us working have particularly great pensions forecasts, as we can’t contribute a great deal each month, therefore will probably need to carry on working past retirement age.

So it’s not always beneficial working until you drop!

Yes OP, prioritise your time and focus on your own family.

@nappyvalley2024 How do you know she got her fit note the same day as finding out she was pregnant?

Tell you everything you need to know about the attitude of entitled. They will try and get a free ride from everywhere, employer, taxpayer, anyone at all. These people are like leeches.

Looking after a child fulltime for 3 years sounds pretty stressful to me.

Are you having a laugh? Its literally normal life to raise one baby. What kind of species can't cope with rearing its own young without finding it stressful. FFS.

Op the problem is the cost of living, in the south east especially. The "squeezed middle" is very real and the current government have shafted them.

Of course parenting is stressful, especially if you suffer from anxiety or other mental health problems. Gets even more stressful as they get older too.

Why is it that this man is earning £30000 and the tax payer is having to subside his wages instead of his employer?

his wages are too low, that’s the problem & the government have only this year raised the NMW, by the biggest percentage ever 10% to make NMW to £23, 795 annual income.

if we keep directing our frustrations and anger at the people paying tax and working hard, instead of the bosses of so many companies ripping of their workers. Using tax payers to keep them rich - nothing will change & hasn’t

Right now with childcare costs it is hard to make it stretch, but in a couple of years it will be much easier and you won't have taken a big break from work so will be in a position to continue to increase your income and put yourself in a good financial position.

I remember when DD was in nursery and the childcare was over double our mortgage, we were either rushing to work, rushing to nursery or rushing to cook a meal in less than 15 minutes.

Then the 3 yr funded hours kicked in, childcare bill halved my salary had doubled by then through promotion, instant easing of financials, by the time DD started school wraparound was cheaper than nursery and closer, we used holiday care which was pricey but overall not an increase on nursery costs and I kept going for promotions.

Now DD is 9, my salary has quadrupled since she was born, only holiday clubs needed and we are financially sound.

So yes it's hard but the long term picture is that you have the opportunity to improve your position over time.

I just want to know why the I’m-so-busy (and always a mention of “life admin”) whingers on here are always doing renovations.

Just buy a new build or - the horror 😱 - don’t change the kitchen to an Insta special -if you “don’t have time to breathe” 🤣

I didn’t have carpet on my stairs for current place for 4 years. Not cos I was too busy to do the onerous task of opening the door to Carpetright, but cos I couldn’t afford it 🤷🏻‍♀️ Nobody died.

I await the details on why you have to renovate now - and why you chose to take on a property that needed it at the same time as you’re paying for nursery.

It’s almost like you actually chose your current situation?

£30k in london supporting a sahm partner and baby? bloody hell that will be right

My partner is on NMW and I get £76 a week as a carer for our severely autistic son. Two of my 4 children are autistic.
We have a low mortgage because I bought my first property at 20 with a 100% mortgage before the crash and by the time I'd sold house prices in that area had rocketed. So I get no housing element to our UC.
We don't get a massive amount of UC but it has dramatically helped us. I dont get more in UC than I would returning to work and I also had a NMW job, but I'm incredibly grateful I'm able to be my sons carer. In all honesty his needs are so extreme that I'm often up and down the school, unlike mainstream school where they barely send a child home, sen schools have you collect regularly, especially for your child being distressed.

I hate these threads, I'd give my universal credit to the devil himself to rid my son of a condition that makes him navigating his life, independence and whole life so fucking tough for him. I'd work in a fucking Victorian workhouse 16 hours a day to have a child who's life wasn't going to be him struggling each day to just cope with the most basic of things.

But sorry I sometimes have a spare 100 quid at the end of the month to treat my children to a nice day or something.

OP I remember feeling like you when I was working night shifts in London and utterly exhausted trying to raise my 3DC (twins second time around. We didn’t have the audacity to think we could afford 3).
I did a calculation once and if I was a single parent in a rental in my area I would have had more ‘income’ than my exhausting job.

Now two decades later I have a comfortable income from career progression. No childcare costs or disruption. High equity from our house. A decent pension. It’s just a long game and the margins are too tight between surviving on benefits and surviving with a tiny little extra when being a working parent.

@MikeRafone he’s not, the OP is talking out her arse and trying to froth stir, it’s working by the looks of it too.

I get universal credit and I work. I have less disposable income now than I did when I was just working, although that's because I moved out of a shared house into a studio flat and my rent went up. 🤷🏻‍♀️ It's a top up and it pays for my food while my wage covers my rent and bills.