To feel annoyed that those on UC have more disposable income

[nappyvalley2024]

Myself and DH both work full time and have one child in nursery that we are paying for. We have a household income of just under £100k. After taxes, mortgage, student loan, NI, pension deductions and bills we are not actually left with a huge amount of disposable income. We are in the south east.

Brother in law and his partner have just had their first baby and announced that SIL will not be returning to work for at least 3 years. BIL earns roughly £30k and they live in social housing (lucky them). They will get around £900 a month in UC + no childcare bill.

So whilst we are running around like headless chickens trying to keep on top of things and juggle professional jobs, house renovations and parenting. My SIL will have the pleasure of sitting at home with no stress enjoying her baby. (SIL is known to be very lazy and also took the whole of her pregnancy off sick due to anxiety.)

At this point I just feel so deflated, and am wondering what the point is of working hard and being self sufficient. Funny thing is in laws think we are the lucky ones, when I don't actually think we are here. The system needs to change as there is no incentive to work.

£1000pm through local authority. Prime London. Would rent privately for £3000 on the open market

Sounds like you are living above your means

I don't know how she's getting so much UC. My DP is on 32k, I have a 3 year old, a 1 year old and one on the way. We get UC top up but it's less than half that.

How can that be, if you’re in the South East with a household income that isn’t massive? Did you get family help to raise a deposit, either directly or indirectly through reduced rent?

I grew up in a council house and my family lived off benefits. I can assure you that my life now (despite being a teacher and about to rush my kids out the house to breakfast club and collecting them at 5 and all the other shite that comes from being a working parent), is a bed of roses compared to my childhood.

Don’t believe everything you read in the DM and on another note, there seems to be so many benefits, having too many children, VAT threads lately … wonder why?

You really don't. People who work are better off than those that don't..

I agree with you that the system needs to change and claiming benefits has become an easy option for many people rather thsn an absolute need. Why, if her husband is on £30,000, do they need UC anyway, especially if they're not paying a mortgage cost. I earn substantially less than that, have 2 children (albeit late teen/early rwenties), and run my house/car without claiming any benefits.

Obviously, there are many cases of real need and it's absolutely right that there is a benefits system to help those in real need but I do think that it's a system that is totally abused snd it really irks ne when people are not working and claim mire in benefits than I earn working my arse off in a full time job.

However, your SIL being at home for 3 years, if she does the job of being a Mum properly, will not be being 'lazy' & will also have plenty of stress!

Absolutely thick as mince dickhead of a boyfriend's sister...

I have a close and very much loved family member who is on benefits. Will always be on benefits as has enduring mental health issues. They routinely need to buy expensive items to get their savings (from benefits) down under the threshold. They bring home more a month in benefits than I do as a Band 7 in the nhs. Do I want their life - no way. The personal trauma they go through daily is excessive. But to all sense, I am the ‘poor’ relation who cannot afford to pay for my prescriptions so goes without. I can understand why people can get demoralised.

But we have stress trying the juggle everything. I would be a lot less stressed if I could be at home all day.

Not even that close a relative. I think OP is this woman’s partner’s brother’s wife.

Obviously. Who wouldn't be pissed off with this. But think long term, you'll be better off, have assets, be good role models and they'll probably still be dependent on the government (and highly likely their kids will turn out like that too)

I think people in this country stop seeing ‘being on benefits’ as an actual choice, and being bitter about those that need them. OP you both work and can support your family, why are you jealous of your ILs for not having done as well as you in life, it’s so odd. Even if she went back to work I imagine they need a top up and you’d be jealous about that too!

The real problem is people don’t get paid enough and we live in a very expensive country with massive government mismanagement, you’re angry at that wrong people Im afraid!

BTW being a SAHM is hard work, so she won't be sitting around and if she's lazy she's in for a big surprise!

How are they getting that much UC ?

Have you tried not renovating your house? How stressful can having one kid that’s in full time nursery really be?

You’re trying to apply your life onto a life on benefits, it won’t work. You won’t have the stress of being a working mum - you’ll have the stress of surviving. I know, I was the child. It’s not an exaggeration when I say the only meal I had was my free school meal. That’s a life on benefits.

Do an entitled to you calculation, it's all there if you know someone's postcode, income and housing situation.

I see what your saying but home all day with a 1, then 2, then 3year old. Not as easy as it sounds.

Your allowed to own a house on universal credit so don’t know why people are saying your lucky to own a house lots of people have a house and claim full benefits. If you actually do the math she isn’t entirely wrong once once you add up every single benefit you get for being on benefits it adds up to a lot more than you think. To name a few council tax exemption, totally free dental on nhs, social tariffs on electricity and gas, half price broadband, pdsa for free vet treatment for 1 pet, social housing not hedged on inflation so extremely cheap for example as we are still in the housing is 390 a month for a 1 bed flat or if you have a mortgage paid towards that, cost of living payments worked out to 1200 a year, tax free finance for new car, I know there’s more I’m forgetting. When I was starting work I had to math it out works out you need about 40000 ish a year before you are better off in work. Btw this isn’t including the work allowance of 400ish a month before benefits are effected. So in total it’s like 45000. The downsides though are you are only allowed 6000 in savings so you are perpetually in a precarious position, stale progression in life as you won’t have a career and if/when your claim ends you are screwed, your peers will grow to resent you and eventually be oatracised. On balance it seems you are being taken for a mug but trust me your better off in your position when it’s all said and done though. Maybe you can go part time or just rely on your partners income so you can stay at home. All the best :)

£30k is low income especially to support a family on.

So you have 100k coming in, not a large mortgage and you’re skint? Sounds to me like you’re living outside of your means.

I am a single income household on much less than you, small mortgage and no UC and I have plenty of disposable income left each month.

You could always quit your job and live on UC and see how easy it is then!

How are you doing renovations if you have low disposable income? That feels like either bad planning (buying a noise you can’t afford the renovations on) or poor choices.

Are they really that lucky to live in social housing? There must be additional factors for them to have gotten a house so, especially as in most areas the best they would have been offered is a flat. Or they live in a not very desirable area. Pros and cons.

Why don’t you or your DH quit and one of you stay at home? You could always move to a cheaper area, get a cheaper mortgage etc. Cut your cloth to suit one singe high income. There’s a money matters forum if you’d like help budgeting different possibilities.

Those figures don't sound right at all if they don't have a childcare bill. They may be getting something towards rent but I really don't think it's possible they could be getting £900 on UC.

“Why is someone getting something I don’t get? It must stop immediately.” Seems to me to be the attitude at the root of much of the misery in this country.