To feel annoyed that those on UC have more disposable income

[nappyvalley2024]

Myself and DH both work full time and have one child in nursery that we are paying for. We have a household income of just under £100k. After taxes, mortgage, student loan, NI, pension deductions and bills we are not actually left with a huge amount of disposable income. We are in the south east.

Brother in law and his partner have just had their first baby and announced that SIL will not be returning to work for at least 3 years. BIL earns roughly £30k and they live in social housing (lucky them). They will get around £900 a month in UC + no childcare bill.

So whilst we are running around like headless chickens trying to keep on top of things and juggle professional jobs, house renovations and parenting. My SIL will have the pleasure of sitting at home with no stress enjoying her baby. (SIL is known to be very lazy and also took the whole of her pregnancy off sick due to anxiety.)

At this point I just feel so deflated, and am wondering what the point is of working hard and being self sufficient. Funny thing is in laws think we are the lucky ones, when I don't actually think we are here. The system needs to change as there is no incentive to work.

Yes, they do. I think the current party got in through Brexit, and I hope that will change.

But, I think the division and the “victim blaming” has got worse. I also believe the economy and services have been trashed.

Oh be quiet. Your household income is £100k a year and you're moaning. Give your head a wobble and realise your privilege.

And so do the low paid workers. The ones that empty your bins, care for your children and elderly relatives, serve you at restaurants and clean the streets. Why do you think YOU are worthier than they are, the ones who work their arses off for low money that you wouldn't even know how to survive on. You're a disgrace.

👋 feel free to leave to a country that doesn't reward those who are reliant on state assistance - like Singapore then 🤷🏻

Easy to make assumptions about others who fall on hard times when you have lived a very privileged life...

All poor people should be banished to the work houses live on gruel and be sterilised you are absolutely right. How dare poor people choose to have a family 🙄

Ignore those posters who don't have an ounce of empathy ❤️❤️

YABU.
You decided to run a housing reconstruction while having small children. I understand it is stressful and very hard.
I am not a big fan of inheriting social housing.

However, saying that people who use the UC for a few years shouldn't have children is seriously unreasonable.

I suppose she wouldn't earn that much anyway, which means that if she works and pay for childcare they might be worse off

Hear hear👏

@nappyvalley2024 When I had my children, both myself and their father were working. I could not have predicted that I would end up a single parent raising a disabled child who needs an extremely high level of care even now she's an adult. There is no way I could work with the help she needs and I am thankful we have the UC system in place to support me in my caring duties.

@nappyvalley2024 And I would like to add that being a carer for someone with high care needs is a never ending job with little respite. It's bloody exhausting! I think it would be good to reflect how fortunate you are.

My husband is a teacher assistant and many like him-nurses etc are on UC to supplement piss poor wages. Should they never have children? Maybe you shouldn't have had one of you are struggling?

Ugh, what a goady thread.
I live off of UC, which is £9100 or so per year. Significantly less than you OP, yet you think people like me have more disposable income than you on £100k a year?
You are living beyond your means, and that is not the fault of people on benefits.

OP your posts seem to suggest that you are somewhat lacking. You seem to struggle with many aspects of life. So OP out of interest what job do you manage that pays so well? Or are you relying mostly on your DHs income? And no, I do not qualify for UC.

Presumably your rent is covered separately via housing benefit too?

I don't claim housing benefit

Many people on UC own their own homes.

So your rent/mortgage is paid out of that 9k per year?

No, I have no housing costs.

I know. I don't know how anyone could afford to service a mortgage if their entire income was 9k pa.

@SecondUsername4me I couldn't afford a mortgage on UC.

You get to earn a bit more before deductions if you have a mortgage but they don't help with mortgages unless it is a landlords... Just have to struggle to pay it.

Perhaps they paid off their mortgage before life events caused them to need to claim UC?

UC tops up poor wages. It doesn't decide your - or their - choices. We all earn what we earn and make our choices on that. UC shouldn't even be needed for working people. The wages should be high enough against cost of living. Quite often it is easier for someone on low wage to stay home than to use a whole wage for childcare costs. There is a tipping point at which it becomes worth working. If you are on high income that borderline might not be so evident.

I interpret that as mortgage free.

I don't think your SIL is lucky at all. It sounds as if she's got no safety net whatsoever, and that she's struggling with her mental health. You sound like you need a break. As others have mentioned, reducing your outgoings might be a good start?