To feel annoyed that those on UC have more disposable income

[nappyvalley2024]

Myself and DH both work full time and have one child in nursery that we are paying for. We have a household income of just under £100k. After taxes, mortgage, student loan, NI, pension deductions and bills we are not actually left with a huge amount of disposable income. We are in the south east.

Brother in law and his partner have just had their first baby and announced that SIL will not be returning to work for at least 3 years. BIL earns roughly £30k and they live in social housing (lucky them). They will get around £900 a month in UC + no childcare bill.

So whilst we are running around like headless chickens trying to keep on top of things and juggle professional jobs, house renovations and parenting. My SIL will have the pleasure of sitting at home with no stress enjoying her baby. (SIL is known to be very lazy and also took the whole of her pregnancy off sick due to anxiety.)

At this point I just feel so deflated, and am wondering what the point is of working hard and being self sufficient. Funny thing is in laws think we are the lucky ones, when I don't actually think we are here. The system needs to change as there is no incentive to work.

Juggling:

Full time job x2. + working in evenings - why are you working in the evenings? / and there are 2 of you, you are not doing 2 full time jobs by yourself

Social commitments - your choice
Appointments your choice
Workmen/quotes - people constantly coming in and out the house. your choice
Child's play dates and weekend activities your choice
Washing / 2 people here
Cleaning / 2 people here
Food shopping / 2 people here
Keeping on top of life admin - friends and relatives birthdays, baby showers, weddings etc. your choice
bedtime routine Really??

I literally don't have time to breathe from 7am until 23.00

Looks like you need to be better at organising

Think what you like I was there you weren't.

Yeah - cos its so fucking easy to get PIP/DLA

We have been waiting since last MARCH! for our tribunal appeal.... 11 months! fucking utter joke

I agree with you. People on uc have literally got it made.

You earn 100k between you? Sorry but I promise you I absolutely do not have more disposable income then you on the 18k with 3 children I get on LCWRA, nor do I have any of the financial security you have either.

But yes by all means think it's very unfair. If you want to swap your ability to work and your financial security for my disability and my benefits I am game. Surprisingly though I don't think you will want to.

Hi OP. You are getting a proper pasting here which I did expect when I saw the headline of the post.

I can see your frustration here. You and your husband both work hard, possibly passed numerous professional exams etc. to get where you both are. You are straight up, pay all your taxes and fulfil your obligations. It feels like you've done everything society has asked of asked of you, and you still feel that you haven't got two pennies to rub together. Yet someone over there breezes through life, appears to time certain conditions extraordinarily well and on the face of it seem to have an easier ride of things financially and socially.

What I would say OP is the life of your in-laws and similar people is not beer and skittles, and there are many out there that struggle to get what they need. Posters here will be greatly offended by the mere suggestion that anyone would game the system when realistically it happens for frequently than we collectively allow ourselves to admit. The genuine cases of people in need should be more angry at these people than the apparent compulsion to defend it or write it off.

But If you went down this route you would find many of your options closed off and would not have the sense of pride that you have now; knowing that everything you have is earned, bought and paid for without a dime of help. Small consolation, but you're winning at the long game, even if the present appears like you're pissing into the wind.

You list a lot of things that are discretionary that could be cut down on, but 10 years ago, reasonable earners wouldn't have thought twice about. You almost feel entitled to a nice home and your renovations. I don't begrudge you this, you work hard and deserve it, but it is discretionary.

I guess I'm saying fair play to you, you're doing great even if it doesn't feel like it now. Your feelings are valid, but try not to get bogged down with others circumstances.

Posters here will be greatly offended by the mere suggestion that anyone would game the system when realistically it happens for frequently than we collectively allow ourselves to admit

Bollocks.

The number of long term unemployed people in this country is under 300k and makes for a tiny percentage of the work age population. https://www.statista.com/statistics/284187/uk-unemployment-figures-by-length/

As for benefit fraud, It is estimated in 2020, £65.2 million of public money was lost through benefit fraud.. which sounds a lot but..

The amounts that go unclaimed dwarf it by huge amounts:
Unclaimed Housing Benefit - pension age 2019/20 1,000,000,000 (c)
Unclaimed Pension Credit 2019/20 1,710,000,000 (c)
Unclaimed Universal Credit To Nov 2022 8,000,000,000

Total: £15,060,000,000
https://www.entitledto.co.uk/blog/2023/may/billions-of-means-tested-benefits-remain-unclaimed-each-year/

The people that claim there's 'Millions of people that have never worked' are talking bollocks.
The people that claim there's 'millions committing benefit fraud' are talking bollocks.

If I was wanting to be lazy, caring full time for an under 3 would not be what I would do. 😀Especially if she plans to have more than one. Must have been doing something wrong as my baby and toddler ran me ragged and was glad to get to work!

i will take a punt op

that even putting this issue aside, you are a profoundly unhappy person with a lot in life. I suspect you don’t get any job satisfaction and your marriage isn’t a happy one

for someone to go on to a gov benefit calculator and furiously tap in the figures they think they know for their in laws to see what they’re entitled to, and then start a mumsnet thread about… can simply only be someone in a very dark place

Seriously?

I can't even afford to decorate my house never mind anything else!

I work full time in the sense that I am a 24/7 carer for my disabled 20 year old daughter which is full on and demanding. My shift starts at 7am and ends at 9pm and I get paid peanuts for that work from the government. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for the financial support so that I can look after her but they get away with paying peanuts for the amount of care I give, essentially saving the government money on professional carers.

My household income is £24k as a lone parent and I still don't resent those who don't work. OP is being bloody ridiculous.

A hundred grand a year and still complaining.

Maybe it's not a lack of money causing your unhappiness.

Nothing, in my view. I’ve been in social housing since the 70’s, am now a pensioner and still don’t regret it.

I’ve always had nice properties in nice areas, with lovely neighbours, so perhaps I’m lucky.🙂

How do you not have disposable income on 100k?
You sound bitter and jealous
UC isn't easy to live on, you know

Well the OP has not been back to comment on the thread for a long time.

⏺️ The OP is at work and won’t be back until tomorrow

⏺️ It is an election year, so prime time to sway the ill informed and reinforce cliches and resentment.

⏺️ It’s February, the OP is depressed and needs to vent, now she has. Although she has read some of the replies and realises that she has overplayed her hand, she won’t be back to admit it.

Place your bets…

Both my husband and I were in very good jobs. I became seriously ill a couple of years ago and had to quit work. I needed a full time carer so DH had to quit work too. We rely on UC. We get just over £600 a month. Our mortgage is in arrears of over £20k and we could lose our home any day. I've Just been back in hospital and things are not looking good. Honestly, I'm thankful we get something, but it's no where near enough to live on. I really don't see how you think your in laws are better off. I would give anything right now yo be back to my long working days and juggling family life.

Assuming couples element, carers element and LCWRA element on your claim, there is no way this is correct. Either you are not getting all the elements you are eligible for or you are also getting contributions based ESA alongside UC in which case you are getting around another £500+ a month on top ?

Ohh look, you agree with the OP and you also don't know what "literally" means. Weird one.

I personally think you are both lucky in different ways and shouldnt compare. Me and dh don't have a mortgage. Probably would never get one as we rent privately and it's so expensive we can't save a deposit. Alsp no UC 2e a rw self employed in hospitality and it is killing us at the mkmet. But we arent at a place we can just give it up. we have no savings and not a great pension. But you just get on with it.
Dont compare and be jealous of each other. Everyone's got a different situation. Some if it will be good and some of it bad.

What absolute rubbish. It's not the land of milk and honey. I do the occasional contract and receive some UC. My confidence is shattered.

Save? Give me a break.

If this isn't a joke....

Grow up.

My friend waited 18 months for her LCWRA assessment and was on under £400 per month. She lost her home.

It's entirely possible.

You made your choices so suck it up.
Jealousy isn't pretty.

Savings over 6k I think limits your incitement and they only pay the interest on the mortgage, not the actual mortgage.

Genuine question.
Why didn't you sell your property once you realised you would have no income?