To feel annoyed that those on UC have more disposable income

[nappyvalley2024]

Myself and DH both work full time and have one child in nursery that we are paying for. We have a household income of just under £100k. After taxes, mortgage, student loan, NI, pension deductions and bills we are not actually left with a huge amount of disposable income. We are in the south east.

Brother in law and his partner have just had their first baby and announced that SIL will not be returning to work for at least 3 years. BIL earns roughly £30k and they live in social housing (lucky them). They will get around £900 a month in UC + no childcare bill.

So whilst we are running around like headless chickens trying to keep on top of things and juggle professional jobs, house renovations and parenting. My SIL will have the pleasure of sitting at home with no stress enjoying her baby. (SIL is known to be very lazy and also took the whole of her pregnancy off sick due to anxiety.)

At this point I just feel so deflated, and am wondering what the point is of working hard and being self sufficient. Funny thing is in laws think we are the lucky ones, when I don't actually think we are here. The system needs to change as there is no incentive to work.

I dont get why are you upset, whats stopping you becoming sahm and not paying nursery fees?

£30,000 a year is not a low income. People get by on a lot less and no uc back up.

100% this. It's only people who have never been on benefits that think it's easy.
We had to go on benefits in 2008 with a newborn and 2 year old. Back then we luckily had healthy start vouchers which helped.
Many days when DH and I survived on a piece of toast so the kids could eat. No heating, no holidays, I didn't even have a mobile.
But yeah life on benefits was obviously better than earning thousands. Some people have no idea

Yes of course if you are trying to survive on just benefits the amount is terribly low, but for working people with kids it is a lot more generous because you get the benefit of the work allowance plus earnings on top. the system is designed to reward people to work and make working pay.

No, it's life with shitty parents.

It is more generous than being unemployed, but it's not £100k a year generous! I work full time (single parent) take home pay is £1660 a month then I get around £400 a month UC top up. I'd swap finances with OP any day!

I understand this frustration. I am a SAHP and I regularly say I don’t know when/how full time working parents do it all. Like when do they change the bed and do the food shop! I have the privilege of being able to do all these household chores during the day with my toddler and then go to a playgroup etc.

Financially, as we have 3 under 4 it wouldn’t be viable for me to work and I chose to stay at home. We are not eligible for any benefits as my husband earns over the threshold and we own our house. Another mum I know has much more disposable income than I do - her husband is on a lower wage and she is a SAHM and receives universal credit, housing benefit, child benefits etc and I often feel frustrated at how much more they earn than us. They get a grant for the youngest to have 3 days at a childminders to give the mum some ‘’me time”.

My husband is only just over the threshold- if we both earned 49k we would be entitled to benefits but not as he earns just over 50.

and I know it’s our choice for me to be at home and have lots of little ones, we can afford it and live a nice life but it can be annoying seeing others get so much more money !

You may want to check your eligibility for child benefit, if your DH is only just over the £50k mark then he would be eligible for some at least, but you needs to look at the calculation for adjusted net pay, if he is able to remove his pension for example from gross then that may take him below £50k.

www.gov.uk/government/publications/high-income-child-benefit-charge-data/high-income-child-benefit-charge#:~:text=The%20amount%20to%20pay%20depends,charity%20donations%2C%20and%20pension%20contributions.

What is this grant? I'd like to know, as someone who gets UC myself you are only entitled to 15 hours free childcare per week if one parent is not working. So what grant is this that gets them 3 days?

Also if you're not happy that they get more, go out to work yourself. I'm a single working mum doing everything myself and seeing people like you moan is irritating, you're bloody privileged.

I know I’m in a privileged position - I said that. I also said she gets more money than us. Financially it wouldn’t make sense for me to work due to nursery fees and I also want to stay at home. Again I know I’m privileged

Thank you :)

Anxiety can be serious enough to stop someone working. I'd hate to be in that position, wouldn't you?

It's convenient that it meant taking her entire pregnancy off

You have no idea what her medical history is.
My first baby was 3 months early and then died 2 hours after he was born. I then had 3 miscarriages after him.

By the time I fell pregnant with my DD I was a paranoid anxious mess. I was so worried and anxious all the way throughout my pregnancy, worried she would die in the womb or die after I gave birth to her. After she was born I woke up every single time in a panic she had died in my sleep or hers. Even the mats that monitor their breathing didnt help me feel better. I felt exactly the same when I had my second son. The fear was awful. It never leaves either, just transfers onto new things like choking ect

How awful to judge her when you have absolutely no idea what's going on with her, just that she feels anxious about her pregnancy.

That poor woman. I hope she is surrounded by support and I hope it goes away soon for her

Then stop moaning about others having more disposable income. Your household income is double what mine is and I don't sit around moaning. You don't know you're born.

This thread us a perfect example of the "benefits are my right" culture that has permeated the UK over the last 40 years, leading to 54% of adults being dependent on the state (it was 40% in 1980).

This is also precisely how countries get much, much poorer (as eventually you run out of money given that you are not productive enough)

People like the OP (net taxpayers) get fed up of it all, so they change their behavior by either working less, retiring, or flat out leaving the country. The problem has reached critical mass in the UK.

Too many people are looking to extract from the system, so the only real solutiom are individual contributory accounts (like Singapore): you can only receive benefits as a proportion of how much in tax that you have contributed into the system.

People warned you folks about Brexit, and now they are warning tou about the level of state dependency. Ignoring this again, will lead right back to the UK being the "sick man of Europe".

Thats the direction of travel in the UK now.

Housing benefit only pays towards rent

Maybe you should save your righteous anger for the companies which can pay workers below what they need to live, because benefits top up low earnings. If wages actually covered the costs of living, working people wouldn't need tax credits, universal credit, housing benefit or whatever else, and wouldn't be 'dependent on the state'. It is the employers ultimately who are on 'state dependency', because in-work benefits to their employees effectively properly up their businesses.

Because cost of living has got higher. That's not the fault of low paid workers that their salaries haven't risen in line with inflation. Rent is disgustingly high nowadays, as are energy bills.

Is there a timetable for these threads? They crop up on a regular basis, always with a similar theme.

They shouldn't be having children if they are on universal credit then!

'Because cost of living has got higher. That's not the fault of low paid workers that their salaries haven't risen in line with inflation. Rent is disgustingly high nowadays, as are energy bills.'

My comment is in reply to this ^

Another mum I know has much more disposable income than I do - her husband is on a lower wage and she is a SAHM and receives universal credit, housing benefit, child benefits etc and I often feel frustrated at how much more they earn than us. They get a grant for the youngest to have 3 days at a childminders to give the mum some ‘’me time”

Amazes me how people know so much about the financial circumstances of acquaintances.

And if they already have the children, then COL pushes them past their earnings covering their outgoings? Or they get made redundant and have to take a lower paid job? Or get cancer or MS or are injured in an accident, and can't work?Shall we keep the children in poverty punish them for having low earning or unwell parents?

This has really upset me. A couple struggling on 100k.

You are a truly vile person. As if people shouldn’t have children if they need universal credit. Do you want all the poor people sterilising so they don’t even have the option? What is wrong with you?

The next cost of living payment is due this month, I think it makes more of these people rear their ugly little heads.