A pet peeve: Having your photo taken when you'd rather not!

[BeenThere0]

Am I in the minority finding it quite uncomfortable that photographing people - and then publishing the photos on social media - has become so casual? I've nearly lost a couple of friends over my insistence that no photos of me are to be taken to be published on social media. A lot of people who ask for permission (to take a photo of you) these days (e.g. in a hobby group or friendship group) seem upset when someone says: no, please. Please share your thoughts, thanks.

Being unreasonable: There is an implicit expectation in a hobby group, for example, that everybody is happy to have their photo taken and put on social media.
NOT being unreasonable: No to the above statement.

"did that one person insistthat the photo be taken in the first place, that's my question?
Because that's what you claim happens -"

She insisted on being in the photo, yes.

"why would you put up a photo showing someone's wardrobe malfunction in the first place?"

I didn't see it - it was mild.

Being photographed at all is annoying but assuming you should be posted on sm is completely unnecessary!

What now?

Not publishing this anywhere isn't the same as not actually being a journalist or doing research though.
Are you a journalist/researcher?

@BeenThere0

(Wow, these MN threads can get feisty...)

You're male aren't you @BeenThere0 ?

I hate it too.
Left over from escaping DA and crossing the country to get away.
I still get out of every photo.
My response to anyone questioning me on this is I could tell you but I’d have to kill you. Shuts them up every time.

Fiesty?

Agree with others, this is worded suspiciously. The poll is usually just a visual gauge, it doesn’t mean anything. OP is definitely not only asking this out of curiosity.

Some people like to keep photos for their own memories rather than for sharing on social media; so I'd say that I don't mind a photo, so long as it doesn't go on social media. Some people will then leave me out of the photo; others will take picture including me, but not post it. Either is fine with me.

What isn't fine is for people to just assume that it's fine to post pictures of people on social media without asking permission. Especially if their social media posts are not restricted to friends, but visible to the general public.

Fair enough, but very few people do this.

She insisted on being in a photo even when you explained it was for SM which she didn't want to be on?
Okay, but that sounds very unusual. Unlikely to be a common issue.

The wardrobe malfunction obviously can't have been seen as that mild by the person who suffered it if she asked you to take the photo down? I do understand you didn't notice it but I think that's part if the problem actually - that photos are uploaded so casually and with little thought of how they may impact on others.
I've often seen a group of photos of an event put on SM and thought well, x isn't going to like that one, or y was caught at a most unfortunate angle there, and I wonder why the poster didn't think.

I'm sorry, @WigsNGowns , maybe look carefully in the first or last page of the thread (both top and bottom)? In my case, I see the poll mentioned (and open) at the top of every page of the thread (confirming that over 300 members have already voted, with 6 hours to go before the poll closes). Maybe more experienced MNers can helpfully point out where exactly you'd see the link to the poll in your case? (I'm a newbie, this is my first AIBU post - so still finding my feet too...)

@Wasbedeudetetdas , you'll find that the correct spelling is "feisty" (not 'fiesty'). You wanna bet?? :)

"What isn't fine is for people to just assume that it's fine to post pictures of people on social media without asking permission. "

I'm not handing out permission slips to 20 people when I go out.

ARGH YANBU @BeenThere0 I HATE it. Don't mind having my pic taken if I know it's coming! But not when I am not looking. And yes to people putting photographs on facebook of you that you didn't know were being taken!!! Or NO to it rather!!!

My older DD's photographer took about 400 photos on her (12 hour) wedding day, and some were when people weren't looking/were just socialising together/ laughing/ drinking/ dancing.

Whilst many of the 50 or so with me on, were quite nice or OK (as they were 'posed' ones,) she managed to get a few that were taken when I wasn't looking - and a few of them were taken from the side. The sideways on ones were HORRIFIC! 😱 I looked all fat and horrid and double-chinny. GRIM! 💀 All 100 guests had the link to all 400 photos, and we could choose what we wanted - to print. 'I thought oh fucking hell I look vile on about 8 of these pics!'

But then I remembered that no-one gave a shit, and were just looking at/looking for photos of themselves, and the bride and groom and bridesmaids and best man etc.. And most were just interested in the 'posed' ones. A few dozen of our family - the groom's family, and some photos with both families, and some photos of DD and her DH with their 25 combined friends.

DH used to be a fucking demon for snapping me when I wasn't looking/wasn't ready for it, and it drove me MAD. He said 'but you look cute!' I DID NOT! I looked like a fucking sea monster! (Well, to me anyway!)

I look so much better made up/hair nice/decent clothes, and ready for the pic. Funny how the 'posed' and 'not posed/don't know it's being taken' photos make me look so different! I have come to the conclusion that I must look somewhere in the middle! Not hideous, not a glamour model!

I am very sensitive about how awful I look in photos. Very different from what I see in the mirror !I have asked friends to remove my pictures off SM and they have been fine about it .

I agree that there’s a weird vibe to the OPs questions. The repeated request to ‘please do cast your vote and give your reasons’ is strange.

@BeenThere0
@Wasbedeudetetdas , you'll find that the correct spelling is "feisty" (not 'fiesty'). You wanna bet?? :)

You didn't answer my question. You are male aren't you?

The poll isn't displaying for me despite your helpful instruction to me to look carefully!

and @Wasbedeudetetdas yes.

Well, @WigsNGowns , you're the one not succeeding in finding the Vote button on mumsnet, so it's my turn to 'accuse' you of being male.
Seriously, what's the relevance of gender to this discussion?! You should work for GB News, WigsNGowns.

The OP is a bit weird, with the voting encouragements, planning to write more "later", and evasive answers. Maybe some weird motivation, definitely not understanding technical reality and dynamics of this forum.

No facility for me to vote either (should I want to).

Sorry, @SameSameButDeliverance . Maybe more experienced MNers can comment on what maybe causing the voting option not appear for some users.

YANBU I can’t stand it and I’m so glad my teens/early 20s were at a time when this wasn’t a thing.

Well, @WigsNGowns , you're the one not succeeding in finding the Vote button on mumsnet, so it's my turn to 'accuse' you of being male.

This makes no sense.

Also the use of the word accuse in that sentence with inverted commas is downright perculiar.

Seriously, what's the relevance of gender to this discussion?! You should work for GB News, WigsNGowns.

It's not so much relevance to the discussion as relevance to the forum. The forum is Mumsnet -a predominantly female based forum. Your posts are odd as others have identified including those suspecting you of being a journalist. There is a general presumption that a poster is female and those who are male usually identify themselves as such for that reason. To be open, frank and transparent with other posters.

The fact that you don't even grasp the relevance of your gender adds grist to this particular mill.

I think the fact that you have adopted such a defensive attitude and your comment about GB News means that I am right. I think you are a man.

Again, on the spelling, @WigsNGowns ,you'll find that word to be "peculiar" (not 'perculiar'). As this keeps happening, then - to coin a phrase - I think you are a man.