A pet peeve: Having your photo taken when you'd rather not!

[BeenThere0]

Am I in the minority finding it quite uncomfortable that photographing people - and then publishing the photos on social media - has become so casual? I've nearly lost a couple of friends over my insistence that no photos of me are to be taken to be published on social media. A lot of people who ask for permission (to take a photo of you) these days (e.g. in a hobby group or friendship group) seem upset when someone says: no, please. Please share your thoughts, thanks.

Being unreasonable: There is an implicit expectation in a hobby group, for example, that everybody is happy to have their photo taken and put on social media.
NOT being unreasonable: No to the above statement.

What is your reason for not accepting that others get to choose for themselves, exactly?

I also hate having my photo taken.

Worse: tagged on SM.

(and didn’t vote because of your garbled voting options)

No, I only post children when I know it's OK. That's for safeguarding, not because 'I don't look my best'.

They get to choose by not being in the photo in the first place.
They don't get to insist on being in the photo and then veto it being shared therefore spoiling it for everyone else.

All the PP talking about tagging. You know that you can veto this in your settings?
Well, I know you can on Facebook, not so much other sites.
It was the first thing I did on there.
Annoying that they still 'name' me on there though. 😐

Who are all these people 'insisting' on having their photo taken and then vetoing its sharing?
That doesn't happen ime.

You're clearly misreading my comments because I did say I would opt out of being in the photo(s).

Only one person has done it to me.
One colleague went so far as not allowing photos to be shared at all, not even by email because she has issues with how she looks. Not just certain photos, but all of them.

It's rare though. Most of my friends are happy to be on FB even if one or two have a setting that means I either can't tag them or the tag needs to be approved.

It has happened once that someone asked for a particular photo to be taken down, which I did. Others complained, but there was a small wardrobe malfunction so I was happy to take the photo down in that case.

I wasn't talking about you specifically.

To the poster who said your opinion made you entitled. Can you honestly not think of one legitimate reason that a person might not want their photo on social media??

Someone asked my permission last week, I said no, he got in a complete strop about it. I find it baffling that people can’t think of a single reason why I might not want my image shared on socials.

A few more hours before the poll closes! Please consider voting (if you haven't already) and sharing your more detailed view here. Thanks

Well then, maybe stop responding specifically to me.

OP are you working for a magazine or something?
Your wording sounds that way.
I wish you'd be more clear about your intentions.

I'm flattered, @Wasbedeudetetdas .
You're the last person I want to have a war of words with.. We're on the same side after all :)

I wasn't flattering you, I was asking a question based on your comments. Are you going to answer it or divert?

FGS, @Wasbedeudetetdas , relax. Thanks.

@BananasInThreePieceSuits

YABU. I don’t entertain such nonsense. If I took your photo and I want to share it, I will (I’m talking entirely in a personal capacity, not professional/hobby etc).

Everyone knows what you look like. They can literally see you. So being touchy about a photo is just ridiculous.

What is wrong with you that you have such an unpleasant attitude to people's reasonable wish for privacy?

There a lots of people who have VERY good and serious reasons for not wanting their photo on social media. A simple example are victims of domestic violence who don't want any information that reveals where they are.

Even if you aren't talking about serious reasons like that, there is nothing wrong with just wanting to control your own privacy and information about where you are, what you do and who has access to that.

Many people are very casual about identifying locations and times of images.

It's now very easy to identify people from images because of the accuracy of facial recognition software. Search yourself on Pimeyes and for some people you may find it locates you in the back of photographs you don't even know are on the internet.

https://pimeyes.com/en

I agree with you @BeenThere0 and your personal preferences is part of your right to a private life under Article 8 of the European Convention on Human Rights.

Not unreasonable at all.

I utterly hate having my picture taken and there are very few in existence.

If some of the previous posters think they are entitled to take and share my photo they are sadly mistaken. I am just as entitled to say no

Only one person has done it to me.

But did that one person insist that the photo be taken in the first place, that's my question?
Because that's what you claim happens -

They don't get to insist on being in the photo and then veto it being shared therefore spoiling it for everyone else.

Also - why would you put up a photo showing someone's wardrobe malfunction in the first place?

But are you a journalist @BeenThere0?

I'm concerned now too as you haven't answered pp.
Bit ironic on a thread discussing rights to privacy...

I didn't answer, @Rosievictoria , because I didn't think that if I were a journalist (which I am not) that would/should have any impact on the answer anyone gives to the question. People, I hope, would still give their honest opinion. It doesn't matter if an OP were a journalist, politician or the Queen - that would have no impact on my answer to an AIBU kind of question. I was saving my concluding thought(s) for after the poll closes, so I'm limited on what I am going to say now (I don't want to overly influence the voting), but I'll have more to say once the poll closes. Thanks.

Thanks for replying. Many people don't want their thoughts published without their consent so knowing whether you're a journalist or not is important.

Thanks, @Rosievictoria . Rest assured I'm not publishing any of this anywhere. Thanks for your formidable contributions above!
(Wow, these MN threads can get feisty...)

for after the poll closes, so I'm limited on what I am going to say now (I don't want to overly influence the voting), but I'll have more to say once the poll closes

There isn't a poll showing for me the way it normally does on AIBU at the bottom of the first post. Where is the poll?

YANBU. I don't mind if people take photographs just for themselves and friends, but I don't want my pic shared on social media. My main (though not my only) reason is that I have what amounts to a disability with regard to face recognition, so other people will recognize me from my pic far better than I will recognize them, which could put me in a vulnerable position. I find that if I explain this, people usually co-operate.

But even if someone just doesn't like it, it should be respected. My mum hated being photographed, even before the days of social media, and found it quite hurtful if people disregarded her wishes.