A pet peeve: Having your photo taken when you'd rather not!

[BeenThere0]

Am I in the minority finding it quite uncomfortable that photographing people - and then publishing the photos on social media - has become so casual? I've nearly lost a couple of friends over my insistence that no photos of me are to be taken to be published on social media. A lot of people who ask for permission (to take a photo of you) these days (e.g. in a hobby group or friendship group) seem upset when someone says: no, please. Please share your thoughts, thanks.

Being unreasonable: There is an implicit expectation in a hobby group, for example, that everybody is happy to have their photo taken and put on social media.
NOT being unreasonable: No to the above statement.

Someone who doesn't want to be photographed won't be posing for a group photo. Calling them sensitive for not wanting to pose is ridiculous.

I can’t be on social media and refuse to have my photo taken in any circumstance just in case it appears on social media. I don’t care what other people think, that’s entirely up to them.

And sometimes the person getting photographed doesn't even realise they are being photographed. The first they hear about it is when/if they see it on social media. So it isn't as simple as 'just step out of the group photo if you don't like to be photographed'.

People who insist on taking your photo (usually by sneaky means and then crowing about it afterwards) are twats.

When people join a club I belong to they are asked if they mind being in an occasional group photo on our website and we are careful to respect their wishes. Members are asked only to post their own photos on social media if other people are unrecognisable (in the distance or viewed from behind... It's a walking group, so you frequently don't notice photos being taken 🙂).

If someone has a personal reason for avoiding photos it's their own business, they shouldn't have to explain it to all and sundry.

I think there's a mixture. I know some people (like my dd) who will squawk and make a huge fuss if anyone tries to take photos at anything at any time.
It's really frustrating (and no I share very little on SM) because I think "oh I'd like a nice photo to send to Granny/remember this", get the camera out and I get hands in front of faces, deliberately turning away, screwing up in a ball etc. It turns what would have been 5 seconds into a huge fuss. She always complains that she "isn't ready", but never is ready.
I don't think it's unreasonable to have occasional photos, but I now have very few photos of my family because of the fuss it causes every time. And actually I find that sad, because I would like, and I suspect in later years she will regret it, some nice photos of my family together.

But there are people who constantly take photos and share them all (well all that they look good in) on SM and I can understand how people feel if they don't want that.

Just politely decline, which is what I do. Sometimes explain why, if needed.

It is very rude to take and post photos of other people online without their consent.

I think it's entirely understandable that groups / hobbies etc want to take photos and post to SM.

I think it's also entirely reasonable for them to say 'let's take a photo' and for X to say 'ohh, not me thanks, I'll just stand over there out the way'

What's not reasonable is taking photos of people who don't know you're doing it and chucking it all over SM. Also not reasonable to say you don't want to be in a photo but refusing to move out the way so the people who do want to be can be snapped.

Street photography, I think, is a grey area. It's legal, it's a recognised 'art form', it's superficially no different to someone seeing you walk down the street. But it's also a much wider audience than just the people in the street that day.

My DF used to do it quite a bit as an amateur club member - I'd tried to point out it could be problematic if their were adopted kids / DV victims in shot whose location could be disclosed by the photo. He didn't really get it, despite my best efforts. The other day he was telling me that he was absolutely outraged that someone had entered street photo of a child in a national comp, the parents had seen it out of the blue and asked for it to be removed, and the photographer had refused to do so. He gets it now!

Wow your aunt sounds like a loon! The only consolation is that no one would watch it

Oh, companies taking photos of people and using for business purposes are covered by GDPR - I've got hoops to jump through at work re this. So unless PP have signed something when they joined the gym / fitness class saying their image can be shared then the posts of them exercising are absolutely not OK.

It's not usual to have to ask consent from friends. It's understood that photos may go on FB.

"Someone who doesn't want to be photographed won't be posing for a group photo. "

There are people who want to be photographed so put themselves in all the group photos then try to veto it being on FB and spoiling it for everyone else.

I don't like my photo taken because I'm not happy with my appearance at the moment. I'm bad enough in RL but I've never been photogenic and really dislike how I look in most photos.
So vanity I suppose?
I really don't want my (ugly) image plastered all over social media, it embarrasses me.

Yes, so you're sensitive.

Once you established everyone is ok with it and does it as well, sure. However, you would want to know one of your friends isn't ok with that, wouldn't you?

I'm not very sensitive in general, though I realise it may sound otherwise from what I've said. Not many people like pictures of themselves when they don't show them at their best. I don't think I'm unusual there.

I don't see why people feel entitled to put up images on SM that others in the picture may not be happy with. I think it's unfair of them to assume no one will mind. I think they're guilty of being insensitive more than I am of being sensitive really. Not being happy with my appearance doesn't stop me doing things and I don't mind people taking photos, but SM is a step too far for me.

Whereas you are insensitive.

I also think the poster of the pictures will tend to leave out any unflattering pictures of themselves, while possibly not being as considerate of others. I've certainly seen some thoughtless shares in my time.

I think it’s really rude. I have no issue with posing for occasional photos, if they’re for friends to look at themselves but have no desire to plastered all over the internet.
I frequently move out of shot when people who litter social media with photos of what they’ve been up to get their phone out. sometimes they’re bothered, sometimes they’re not. But I flatly refuse to participate in such braggy behaviour. There is nothing wrong with my memory- I can remember all the lovely things I’ve done, I don’t need a photo on the internet to commemorate it.

Rude

My mother in law insists on taking photos when the family are halfway through eating. Everyone hates her for it

I'm not sensitive but I stopped going to aerial and pole fitness because apparently people find a size 16 doing it hilarious, took the photos off social media and mocked them

Ridiculous because they say fat people should exercise then when I do exercise it gets mocked

But it isn't, is it?

The person taking the photo asks, and you step out (or take the photo). They get their group shot, but no-one who doesn't want to be in it is forced to. Win:win, no need for aggro.

My body my choice.

"Not many people like pictures of themselves when they don't show them at their best. I don't think I'm unusual there."

People don't like photos where they look awful no, but just 'not looking their best' shouldn't be an issue. The photo is to remember the good time you had, not some tiny thing that is 'wrong'.

"I don't see why people feel entitled to put up images on SM that others in the picture may not be happy with."

You can't seriously expect a photo of 10 people to require consultation with 10 people and a veto from one person because it's not her best side.