A pet peeve: Having your photo taken when you'd rather not!

[BeenThere0]

Am I in the minority finding it quite uncomfortable that photographing people - and then publishing the photos on social media - has become so casual? I've nearly lost a couple of friends over my insistence that no photos of me are to be taken to be published on social media. A lot of people who ask for permission (to take a photo of you) these days (e.g. in a hobby group or friendship group) seem upset when someone says: no, please. Please share your thoughts, thanks.

Being unreasonable: There is an implicit expectation in a hobby group, for example, that everybody is happy to have their photo taken and put on social media.
NOT being unreasonable: No to the above statement.

At least you're admitting it now.

@MargaretThursday
I can understand your sadness at not having family photos, but I do feel your daughter is entitled not to be in them if she doesn't want.

I have no photos of me past age 7, when I was old enough to say "No!". And I'm in my 40s now, still don't have photos, and I'm fine with it, despite other people having different views. I don't have any pics on social media either.

I believe that your desire/lack of desire for photos of you (personally) trumps everyone else's opinion on the matter. But equally, their desire/lack of desire for photos of them also trumps anyone else's wishes. Everyone gets to make that decision for themselves.

I quite like this new apparent teenage craze of covering their noses if someone takes a photo. If I do it right I can cover my mouth wrinkles and double chin.

I'm with you OP. I think it's extremely bad manners, anti social in fact.

I've not admitted anything at all.

do you go around insulting people in person too?

I wonder if people who insist on ignoring people's wishes about photos also go around posting photos of other people's children on social media.

You don't understand consent or boundaries do you.

YANBU. A relative or friend taking a photo for their own private memories is one thing, but finding your image splashed all over social media is quite different. Unless they ask your permission, it is insensitive and out of order. Stay firm OP, just say no!

YANBU in the least.

This was exactly my thought.
I haven't given my permission any more than a child could have.
So don't do it. 🤨

Larger people exercising should be praised and celebrated, not mocked. Surely the point of exercise is to improve your health, not to show off your 'perfect' physique.

I hate having my photo taken apart from at home and will leave a group until photos are taken if my boundaries are not respected.I don't care whether that annoys the person taking the photo.

People don't like photos where they look awful no, but just 'not looking their best' shouldn't be an issue. The photo is to remember the good time you had, not some tiny thing that is 'wrong'.

Whether it is or is not an issue for someone is not your call ro make @Gwenhwyfar.
'Shouldn't be' doesn’t come into it.

You can't seriously expect a photo of 10 people to require consultation with 10 people and a veto from one person because it's not her best side.

I would prefer to be consulted about my photo being put on social media, although I know people don't do this usually - unfortunately. I find it staggering that you are actually happy to put up photos when you know not everyone will be happy with them.

Sometimes in a group situation/friendship the understanding is that any photos taken will be uploaded and that's okay. But it's certainly not an understanding in many cases. A relative of mine likes putting family photos on SM. By now many family members have told her not to put up any photo that includes them. She didn't think to ask permission at first but has come to understand that lots of people just aren't comfortable with it.

I do not allow my photo to be taken. I make it clear that I do not consent. I have very personal safeguarding reasons for not putting my picture online and I hate it when someone disregards that and sneaks photos of me then tags me in it too.

i don’t think it’s fair to say people should just not go out if they don’t want featured on social media. People have a right to a private life. It’s very different to before with photo albums stuffed in cupboards, these are formally published into the public domain against your will. Just because some egomaniac likes to post their face all over social media doesn’t mean everyone else should be forced into doing the same.

i have a friend who is quite a well known street photographer and we’ve argued many times over the right to privacy. His response is people shouldn’t be in public if they don’t want their photo taken then shared. He exhibits his work all over the world and these strangers have no idea that they’re the subject of his work and career. It bothers me as someone who has very valid reasons to not have my whereabouts made public.

It’s nice when people ask but a lot of life is more spontaneous than that. It’s somewhat uncivil not to take a posted photo down if the subject asks unless the photo isn’t mainly of them. And if there are reasonable concerns about safety then it’s pretty awful not to take it down unless there are overriding public benefit reasons to keep it up.

But in general I think people try to control how others get to view them too much nowadays. I understand not wanting your photo taken in situations that are private. But if you are out in public, I don’t think you should get to control what anyone else can do with images they take where they are. These are their experiences too, the things they see, capturing the memories they have. I think it’s more entitled to think you get to just stop that on a personal whim.

No 'issue', just preference.

I'm really sorry that happened to you. Some folk are so insecure thst they have to mock others. I hope you find other exercise that you can do. I'd also let whoever runs thst class know what happened.

So obnoxious

😂🤣

"do you go around insulting people in person too?"

Calling someone 'sensitive' is not really an insult.

Or you can just ask before you snap so people can step out the photo. It's basic decency and consideration.

But what is the reason for the preference?

Ha! Why their noses?

"I would prefer to be consulted about my photo being put on social media, although I know people don't do this usually - unfortunately. I find it staggering that you are actually happy to put up photos when you know not everyone will be happy with them."

You admit yourself that it's not realistic to have a vote about every photo that goes up online.

@Gwenhwyfar you do realise there are people who don't post their whole life online everyday right?