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AIBU?

How often do you speak to your other half when at work

149 replies

Incognito8811 · 31/01/2024 18:06

Just what the title says really. When at work, how often do you speak to your other half?

Dh complains I don't speak to him when I am working over text/WhatsApp. But my job is busy and I spend the days rushing between teams calls when at home or head down getting on with work.

Dh is currently away on a course and other than a few messages this morning of how are you etc, and then a few in the day in which there were long gaps between as I was on calls we haven't spoken much! Apparently texting while presenting is acceptable to him where as its not to me!

OP posts:
fairo · 31/01/2024 18:07

I might text at lunch or if there's something important going on but otherwise we just leave each other in work mode

Infertilitylife · 31/01/2024 18:07

Generally not at all. I might message first thing to say I’ve arrived at work but apart from that it’s rare we message as we’re so busy and both teachers.

WaitingfortheTardis · 31/01/2024 18:08

I'm not allowed my phone at work, occasionally I might send a message at lunch if I've enough signal. We used to do it more years ago, but I prefer it now as we can tell each other everything when we get home anyway.

MidnightSerenader · 31/01/2024 18:09

Barely at all, unless it’s about something specific.

Texting while presenting?! How on earth is that OK?

WarningOfGails · 31/01/2024 18:09

Just admin texts if necessary. He texted me today to ask if a prescription for our DS was ready. Didn’t reply to my response though!

Catza · 31/01/2024 18:09

Never. He may call/text me if there is something he needs help with and I return the call when I have a minute. Otherwise, I don't even think about speaking to him while working.
He is away for work now and I haven't heard from him for 3 days aside from when he arrived safely. Perfectly fine with that as well.
We have a very close relationship but don't feel we need to be constantly checking in with each other.

murasaki · 31/01/2024 18:10

Never, unless there's an emergency.

mynameiscalypso · 31/01/2024 18:10

Very rarely. The occasional admin text. Most of time we're both just working

Hercisback · 31/01/2024 18:10

Not at all unless I need to, I wouldn't just message to sya how's your day. It would be "pick kids up from X" or "get milk on the way home".

Multipleexclamationmarks · 31/01/2024 18:10

I don't.

NewJobNewMeNewLife · 31/01/2024 18:12

Never. Maybe he would message me if the house burnt down or something 🔥

BugsyDrakeTableScape · 31/01/2024 18:12

Hardly ever. And we both WFH 🤣

Tittyfilarious81 · 31/01/2024 18:13

I'm a sahm and dh works 12 hour shifts he always texts me through the day when he's got a few minutes and calls me when he gets a break, we've always done this even when I worked we would call each other when we both had a break at the same time

Registeredtomakepoint · 31/01/2024 18:14

I we message each other to say we've arrived safely.
Then exchange messages at break (as long as I'm not on playground duty) again at lunchtime ( as long as I'm not running a club) and a quick message after school to let him know what time I'm aiming to leave.
So three or four occasions each day, with a varying number of messages.

Thought I would edit to add we have been together 23 years in case length of relationship makes a difference to the answers.

PuttingDownRoots · 31/01/2024 18:14

I can tell how boring DHs day has been by the number of messages I get!

Sometimes its none. Today it was 32.

Marmalady75 · 31/01/2024 18:15

During the working day - never
on the drive home - sometimes a call to ask him to put tea in the oven

Merryoldgoat · 31/01/2024 18:18

Extremely rarely.

I might call if I have an excel question. I’d call if there was an emergency with the kids.

We exchange an email or two but again depends on what might be going on that day.

A text if one of us is going to be late.

Futb0l · 31/01/2024 18:18

Only if needed. Eg "a cards been left, were you expecting a delivery from b&q" or "vet left a message to book cat for flea treatment". Or "school emailed, football club is cancelled, can you pick up at 3.30?

If im in meetings or calls i wont see it for a while and won't reply. Our team assistamt knows she's allowed to wave my personal phone at a meeting room window if a) my kids school call or b) my husband rings twice.

Bectoria2006 · 31/01/2024 18:19

Just the occasional text to check something or if one of us is feeling ill we might check in. We’re both super busy at work!

One of the men that my DH works with has constant texts and calls from his wife and it drives everyone mad.

Openingmyeyes · 31/01/2024 18:19

I wouldn't ring or text while at work unless I am delayed and need him to finish early to get back for the kids.

Gymmum82 · 31/01/2024 18:21

Basically never unless something needs to be said. Usually regarding the kids. We don’t message general chit chat

StoatofDisarray · 31/01/2024 18:23

Very rarely: possibly twice a year if that. We both have busy jobs. We send each other have a nice day/how was your day type texts during our trips to and from work though.

Incognito8811 · 31/01/2024 18:23

This is interesting

I think the boredom thing is a big thing. Dh's job is reactive and he can sit around with nothing to do unless something happens where as I am busy constantly. He then moans I don't message him when I am on my lunch, but that's usually split between chucking a load of washing on, or picking kids up from school/nursery.

He is away at the moment on some training and is also complaining I didn't message him much in the evening after the kids had gone to bed. I was trying to finish some work off, watch my programme in peace and he wanted other types of messages.

OP posts:
BarrelOfOtters · 31/01/2024 18:24

ill let him know if I’m going to be out or late and vice versa….for dog sitting reasons.

admin stuff really.

if one of us is away we’d call in the evening.

if I sent something funny I wouldn’t expect a response.

SurvivingNotThriving · 31/01/2024 18:24

Never, unless there's an emergency with the kids. We both have very full-on jobs and don't really have time/headspace for messaging each other whilst we're there.

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