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AIBU?

How often do you speak to your other half when at work

149 replies

Incognito8811 · 31/01/2024 18:06

Just what the title says really. When at work, how often do you speak to your other half?

Dh complains I don't speak to him when I am working over text/WhatsApp. But my job is busy and I spend the days rushing between teams calls when at home or head down getting on with work.

Dh is currently away on a course and other than a few messages this morning of how are you etc, and then a few in the day in which there were long gaps between as I was on calls we haven't spoken much! Apparently texting while presenting is acceptable to him where as its not to me!

OP posts:
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JudgeJ · 31/01/2024 19:24

Baircasolly · 31/01/2024 19:21

I don't speak to my husband every day at work, and we work together!

I recall a time when we were both teaching in the same open plan unit and there were odd times when the only time we spoke was work related!

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Y0URSELF · 31/01/2024 19:26

mynameiscalypso · 31/01/2024 18:10

Very rarely. The occasional admin text. Most of time we're both just working

This.

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0MammaBear0 · 31/01/2024 19:27

I'm a sahm and we message each other through the day when he can

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AboutYouAndPeru · 31/01/2024 19:28

Interesting question. DH is retired and I talk to him from the carpark to work in the morning (10 min walk); then at lunchtime briefly and then from work back to the carpark in the night.

It's basically because my job is really stressful and I really hate it and talking to him grounds me and boosts me to keep going for the next few hours of revolting-ness.

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TeatimeBiscuits · 31/01/2024 19:28

If dh called me at work I would think someone had died. We text maybe twice a day, admin or if we’ve seen something funny. It would never occur to me to speak to him. Happily married 20 years!

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Lastminutebride · 31/01/2024 19:29

Almost never. And when he works away for the week we would ring most nights depending on how busy our evenings are.

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Smartiepants79 · 31/01/2024 19:30

Rarely and only when there is information that needs exchanging or there is something wrong with the kids!
If we knew the other was sad about something or ill we’d check in on each other.

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IncompleteSenten · 31/01/2024 19:31

I only pass essential messages when I'm working or if there was an emergency id call him.
I'm not really a hi it's been an hour since we spoke, how are you doing type of person.

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Pupupaway · 31/01/2024 19:31

We text each other to say the DCs have been dropped off at School and if they were ok going in. Then a message early afternoon to see how our days are going. If one of us have a day off and the other doesn't, we text more - silly memes or songs etc..

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singswithitsfingers · 31/01/2024 19:31

A few texts/emails throughout the day usually just about admin or things that make me laugh.

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JennyfromtheBlok · 31/01/2024 19:32

On and off throughout the day.

I know that isn’t ‘cool’ in Mumsnet world 🤣 But if I’ve been concentrating for ages it’s nice to have a break. Or if something funny pops into my head, talk about tea, send him pictures from the Nursery app (of the child) just random stuff like that. We also share a business too (not my work) so something about that may come up.

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Lovesacake · 31/01/2024 19:32

We would only phone each other in an emergency but we text message a lot, maybe 5/6 times a day. Sometimes it’s making plans/admin but often it’s just chatty/mushy stuff. I realise that will make some people want to vomit but I like it 🥰

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Notthatcatagain · 31/01/2024 19:32

I did phone him once, to say that we were flooded at home and we needed to go at once. He called me when someone wrote off his car. When I had newborns he would give me a quick call in his lunchbreak to se if we were ok and did I need anything bringing in. That's a very long time ago though

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NeverDropYourMooncup · 31/01/2024 19:33

Does forwarding the Amazon collection code message for things that are too heavy for me I can't be arsed to pick up count as speaking to him?

If so, I probably do it once or twice a month. Other than that, maybe every six months to yearly. I'm busy. Speaking requires a death or imminent unemployment.

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JennyfromtheBlok · 31/01/2024 19:33

@Lovesacake Doesn’t make me vomit 🥰 as we are the same.

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New2024 · 31/01/2024 19:33

Incognito8811 · 31/01/2024 18:06

Just what the title says really. When at work, how often do you speak to your other half?

Dh complains I don't speak to him when I am working over text/WhatsApp. But my job is busy and I spend the days rushing between teams calls when at home or head down getting on with work.

Dh is currently away on a course and other than a few messages this morning of how are you etc, and then a few in the day in which there were long gaps between as I was on calls we haven't spoken much! Apparently texting while presenting is acceptable to him where as its not to me!

If I’m popping to the shops I might ask if he wants anything or thinks of anything we need and vice versa. If the DC has been taking an exam and has let me know how it’s gone, I text him.

He’s a university teacher so I only text if it’s not term time and I would only telephone if it was an emergency.

If I’m wfh he occasionally contacts me by text, if I’m at work in the office that would always be by email

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AnnaMagnani · 31/01/2024 19:34

Only if DH is texting me to buy milk or bread on my way home.

If I have an incredibly boring day I might phone him. But even that wouldn't be as much as once a month.

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Lovesacake · 31/01/2024 19:34

@JennyfromtheBlok well at least there’s two of us 😂

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MindatWork · 31/01/2024 19:39

Regardless what the rest of us do @Incognito8811, your DH doesn’t sound very respectful of your work. Has he always been like this?

It’s one thing to have different expectations of levels of contact during a working day, but quite another to get stroppy because you’re not messaging him as much as he’d like. I’d find that exhausuing and not v attractive at all.

What are the ‘other types of messages’ he’s after while he’s away? 😬

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JDJT · 31/01/2024 19:41

Hardly at all.

And we work in the same department😆
We see each other enough to not get distracted at work.

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Gonnawashmymouthout · 31/01/2024 19:42

Only admin or emergency. Or if a band one of us likes announced a tour. Together 20 odd years

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Alwaystired23 · 31/01/2024 19:44

Some days, 3-4 messags, other days (most days) none. Today, I was going to text him about my busy day, I was literally running at some points to get stuff done, but I was too busy!!

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SavingEveryLastPenny · 31/01/2024 19:44

Min 6x daily , but we run a business together so often calls regarding stock and deliveries, im wfh he's out and about.
But also normally a call around 4pm to see when he'll be home so i can either go ahead and cook dcs dinner or all at once.

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QuietBear · 31/01/2024 19:45

Depends on how busy we are, but usually speak or text at least once during the day.

I always call him on the way home too.

Never of us has ever complained to the other if we don't speak though!

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Pacifybull · 31/01/2024 19:45

Never, unless there was an emergency.

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