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AIBU?

How often do you speak to your other half when at work

149 replies

Incognito8811 · 31/01/2024 18:06

Just what the title says really. When at work, how often do you speak to your other half?

Dh complains I don't speak to him when I am working over text/WhatsApp. But my job is busy and I spend the days rushing between teams calls when at home or head down getting on with work.

Dh is currently away on a course and other than a few messages this morning of how are you etc, and then a few in the day in which there were long gaps between as I was on calls we haven't spoken much! Apparently texting while presenting is acceptable to him where as its not to me!

OP posts:
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SweetPetrichor · 31/01/2024 18:28

If we’re both WFH, we take breaks together.
If we’re working from different locations we will probably text a few times throughout the day. Depends what we’re each doing that day!

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olympicsrock · 31/01/2024 18:30

Rarely - not unless there is a specific reason. If he’s away there might be a message . How is everyone , which is met hours later with All good …

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Sanch1 · 31/01/2024 18:30

Only if necessary. Like can you get milk or can you pick the kids up etc. never just because.

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PonyPatter44 · 31/01/2024 18:32

Neither of us are allowed our phones at work so we never text through the day. DP doesn't work at a computer, either, so I generally don't bother emailing him. I might send him a Teams message if I see he's online, buy that doesn't happen more than once or twice a month.

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Rooot · 31/01/2024 18:32

Maybe once a week if a message needs passing on/he is bored on the train - I may not pick it up until after work though depending on the nature of my work that day. My phone is usually locked in the drawer next to my office desk. I leave it there - some days I may do 1-3 hours at my desk, and will reply/send texts and others days I won't be at my desk at all or when I am I don't look at phone. He's the same. Neither would get stroppy if there was no answer all day and neither of us would expect a back and forth longish chat - we just don't have time usually.

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cristokitty · 31/01/2024 18:33

We text quite a bit but there are days when one of us is busier than the other so the conversation is one sided. My DH works from home most of the time so he sends me a lot of cat photos 🤣 Neither of us worries if the other is reading but not responding and we just text whatever comes into our heads during the day anyway:

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99victoria · 31/01/2024 18:34

Never. Unless something urgent comes up. I can go several hours without talking to my other half - I am, after all, an adult!

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FourEyesGood · 31/01/2024 18:36

Never. I sometimes thing when I’m setting off to come home, but only to check whether or not there’s anything we need from the shop.

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KreedKafer · 31/01/2024 18:41

My other half and I actually work at the same place, and even then we rarely speak to one other when we're both at work!

Maybe a Teams message to say 'What time do you reckon you'll finish?' or 'Shall we go for something to eat after work?' or something. Or occasionally one of us will see/hear something that we know the other will find funny. But we don't chat throughout the day or anything, whether we're in the same office or not.

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Ilovelurchers · 31/01/2024 18:41

We exchanged a few texts - "I love you, have a nice day" etc. There might be a few admin type ones as well if one of us if going to the shops on the way back or something. We'd share news if it was major - a promotion opportunity coming up, something like that.....

We used to text more but he said he preferred to keep it minimal so we have more to discuss when we get home. Which is a good point actually.

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JudgeJ · 31/01/2024 18:43

How many would have managed before they days of instant communication, it seems to be a way of keeping one's partner on a leash! If I got a message from the office 'You're husband called, will you call him back' then I would expect the world to be coming to an end! It seems that for some people the degree of pointless contact is a measure of affection.

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Woahtherehoney · 31/01/2024 18:43

Rarely - it’s mostly admin related stuff. I work from home most days so sometimes DP will text to ask if a package has arrived or check if he needs to pick anything up for dinner. We both work quite busy jobs so don’t have chance really!

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Gottoloveatakeaway · 31/01/2024 18:44

Maybe a short text exchange at lunch. If busy none. When I'm working away probably more texts whilst on train and 2 calls in evening

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rwalker · 31/01/2024 18:45

Emergency only

I suppose we’re all different I know a couple who have thanked each other on facebook for tea

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DinnaeFashYersel · 31/01/2024 18:45

Most days he is wfh in the study and I am wfh in the dining room so we speak pretty regularly throughout the day, go for a walk together at lunchtime, sometimes have a fun tea break 😘

If one of us is away from home with work or attending an in-person event then unless there is something urgent we would have a phone call in the evening.

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Piggletta · 31/01/2024 18:46

Couple of WhatsApps per day. 'Work ok?' or 'can you get milk?' type messages

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SgtJuneAckland · 31/01/2024 18:46

We work in the same building I am his boss' boss' boss. I spoke to him once today, he'd been able to pop out of the office and picked me up a coffee on the way back and put it on my desk. I said thank you while I was on a teams meeting.

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Meadowfinch · 31/01/2024 18:46

Only if essential or in an emergency.

I'm busy working, normally flat out, so anything that isn't essential is way down the list.

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Callmemummynotmaaa · 31/01/2024 18:48

Very rarely. If it’s a big day or he’s traveling I’ll send the odd “good luck” or safe flight - but wouldn’t necessarily expect to hear from him on a 1 or 2 day work trip (he’d literally be scheduled from breakfast to sleep). If I’m in work I’m also largely uncontactable. It’s busy. Occasional life admin texts about collecting the kids or picking up milk.

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Registeredtomakepoint · 31/01/2024 18:48

The reason I text him or speak to him as often as possible is to ground me to the fact their is life outside school as someimes the tiniest things seem all consuming. It's incredibly beneficial for my mental health.

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thistimelastweek · 31/01/2024 18:50

Only in emergencies.

A colleague used to break off to answer trivial messages from husband and/or children. It seriously ate into her working day and seriously made me want to scream.

You're at work, so work!

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AhBiscuits · 31/01/2024 18:51

We will usually exchange a message or two throughout the day, but it's always for a reason, not just to check in.

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BardRelic · 31/01/2024 18:52

Only very occasionally with practical, time dependent stuff. Otherwise we don't. He's busy teaching and I'm freelance and charge by the hour. I wouldn't use client time for idle chatting with my DP.

And I don't post from here on client time either, before anyone asks 😂

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Zanatdy · 31/01/2024 18:53

Single now but not at all unless there was an urgent need, both have busy jobs so no time for chit chat when working

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RagzRebooted · 31/01/2024 18:54

Rarely, until recently. He started a new job last year so I'd text at lunchtime and ask how it was going etc. Once he'd settled in that pretty much stopped unless something exciting happened (usually the truck breaking down!).
He's now working away during the week for another new job and has had training and assessments and things so I've tried to check in and we make a point of having an actual facetime/phone call at least one evening a week and exchange messages before bed. We've probably text more in the last year than the rest of our 18 year relationship!

Generally, we don't text chit chat. But we don't do that with others either, really.

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