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AIBU?

How often do you speak to your other half when at work

149 replies

Incognito8811 · 31/01/2024 18:06

Just what the title says really. When at work, how often do you speak to your other half?

Dh complains I don't speak to him when I am working over text/WhatsApp. But my job is busy and I spend the days rushing between teams calls when at home or head down getting on with work.

Dh is currently away on a course and other than a few messages this morning of how are you etc, and then a few in the day in which there were long gaps between as I was on calls we haven't spoken much! Apparently texting while presenting is acceptable to him where as its not to me!

OP posts:
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s4usagefingers · 31/01/2024 19:46

Incognito8811 · 31/01/2024 18:23

This is interesting

I think the boredom thing is a big thing. Dh's job is reactive and he can sit around with nothing to do unless something happens where as I am busy constantly. He then moans I don't message him when I am on my lunch, but that's usually split between chucking a load of washing on, or picking kids up from school/nursery.

He is away at the moment on some training and is also complaining I didn't message him much in the evening after the kids had gone to bed. I was trying to finish some work off, watch my programme in peace and he wanted other types of messages.

Same! My husband likes to message back and forth to the point where we have nothing to say at the end of the day because it’s already been said via text. Whereas I’m quite prone to putting my phone somewhere and forgetting about it.

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BashfulClam · 31/01/2024 19:46

A lot during commutes and breaks but not much whilst working.

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Lostinbrum · 31/01/2024 19:47

Never during the work day unless one of us needs something

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Neriah · 31/01/2024 19:47

Dear God he needs to grow up. Marriage does not mean joined at the hip. How would he have survived the days before mobiles?

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chocolatecupcake · 31/01/2024 19:48

I work in the same office as my OH and I still don’t talk to him 😆

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FizzyStream · 31/01/2024 19:48

We might text or email once or twice (usually me reminding DH about something related to the kids) as one or the other of us leaves very early in the morning and we don't get chance to speak first thing. Otherwise we're both too busy really.

If DH is working away overnight or longer then he tends to be in touch more or if he's driving back a long distance in the evening he'll phone from the car to check in.

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Mumof2teens79 · 31/01/2024 19:48

Only if I need to.
I might message if something comes to mind, or the school call. He might message if he left early just to check school run went OK.
Then to say when we are on our way home.

I would find it weird if he didn't respond at all....but wouldn't expect an immediate response.

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newnamechangeforthisone · 31/01/2024 19:49

I rarely hear from him. Occasionally at lunch but usually only if he's replying to me. Same for me I guess. We don't have down time in our jobs so it would only be lunch time. Think it will be specific to the type of work people do though.

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Hankunamatata · 31/01/2024 19:50

Not at all unless something has gone wrong with kids. We are both busy.

I remember working with a women who rang her husband every lunchtime and talked for 30mins and then again at breaks and then went home to sit in all evening with each other . I was only 18 and midly bemused what they could talk about so much (I didn't listen to phoncalls)

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BeaRF75 · 31/01/2024 19:50

I don't, because I am st work. And there is nothing that can't wait until I get home.
And when he worked, I never spoke to him at his work because it really was a matter of life and death!

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GymBergerac · 31/01/2024 19:50

Only urgent life admin or if anything really funny/dreadful crops up. Very occasionally he'll actually manage to take his lunch break (goddamn retail!) and will message to tell me as it's such a rarity....

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mitogoshi · 31/01/2024 19:52

Rarely, I will text or call about something important that can't wait, or trivial things like pick up shopping, not to chat

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fleurneige · 31/01/2024 19:53

murasaki · 31/01/2024 18:10

Never, unless there's an emergency.

this for me too.

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Daddysgirl47 · 31/01/2024 20:02

We don’t text unless it’s something that the other needs to remember to do (milk, bread etc) but I usually call on my lunch break to offload, work is shit at the moment so it helps me deal with the afternoon. We usually chat on the journey home from work too. But no one gets annoyed or offended if we miss calls; we just try our luck to see if the other is free.

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Scorchio84 · 31/01/2024 20:07

PuttingDownRoots · 31/01/2024 18:14

I can tell how boring DHs day has been by the number of messages I get!

Sometimes its none. Today it was 32.

Yeah me too (plumber)😆

It varies like above but at least a few on breaks or if there's any gossip/scandal, he usually sends me voice notes when he's driving between jobs & knows I'm finished for the day

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Staygoldponyboystaygold · 31/01/2024 20:09

Very rarely. And only if I really need to. I don’t really get the time tbh.

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MiniCooperLover · 31/01/2024 20:11

Once a day by email (if that) and generally it's just to check in with whoever was at home in the morning that DS (12) got off to school ok and what's for dinner: otherwise that's it 😂

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RaginaPhalange · 31/01/2024 20:17

When I'm on my breaks I'll message dh. Or when I'm at home with the kids he will message when he can to see how we are and if we need anything before he heads home.

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maddening · 31/01/2024 20:19

Not unless we need to.

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GOODCAT · 31/01/2024 20:19

He messages me but he knows he won't get a reply until after I have finished work.

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Frogwatch · 31/01/2024 20:45

DP expects me to stop whatever I'm doing and listen for as long as it takes, several times an hour (both WFH). Drives me nuts.

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HappyAsASandboy · 31/01/2024 20:57

Not at all unless there's an unexpected need for a change in child/domestic arrangements.l, or something so catastrophic has happened that I need some support.

Chances are he wouldn't respond to either message though.

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edwinbear · 31/01/2024 21:09

No chit chat during the day at all. Only if plans need to change for some reason e.g. I’m going to be late, would you be able to drop DD to netball club/the plumber can come on Weds, would you be able to WFH as I have face to face meetings/school called, DS is ill and need collecting, I can do it, if you could collect DD after school.

If I’m WFH and the cat does something particularly cute/naughty/funny I might post a pic on the Family Chat, but it’s really for picking up after school/work, I don’t expect a response.

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FrancisSeaton · 31/01/2024 21:21

Never unless it's a can you pick one of the kids up or can you ring somebody

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FrancisSeaton · 31/01/2024 21:22

Registeredtomakepoint · 31/01/2024 18:14

I we message each other to say we've arrived safely.
Then exchange messages at break (as long as I'm not on playground duty) again at lunchtime ( as long as I'm not running a club) and a quick message after school to let him know what time I'm aiming to leave.
So three or four occasions each day, with a varying number of messages.

Thought I would edit to add we have been together 23 years in case length of relationship makes a difference to the answers.

Edited

Do you work in a particularly risky occupation /area?

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