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AIBU?

How often do you speak to your other half when at work

149 replies

Incognito8811 · 31/01/2024 18:06

Just what the title says really. When at work, how often do you speak to your other half?

Dh complains I don't speak to him when I am working over text/WhatsApp. But my job is busy and I spend the days rushing between teams calls when at home or head down getting on with work.

Dh is currently away on a course and other than a few messages this morning of how are you etc, and then a few in the day in which there were long gaps between as I was on calls we haven't spoken much! Apparently texting while presenting is acceptable to him where as its not to me!

OP posts:
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FictionalCharacter · 31/01/2024 21:43

Never, unless it’s something very important, and that’s very rare.

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Cel77 · 31/01/2024 21:46

Never during work as I can't (I'm a teacher) but I'll catch up with him regarding the kids or food shopping after work unless there's something else urgent we need to discuss. We're going through a rough patch so I'm not that inclined to call him randomly to ask about his day or tell him about mine...

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BusyMum47 · 31/01/2024 21:50

Hercisback · 31/01/2024 18:10

Not at all unless I need to, I wouldn't just message to sya how's your day. It would be "pick kids up from X" or "get milk on the way home".

Same! Emergencies aside, we're perfectly able to last an 8hr+ working day without bothering each other - we're both busy! Demanding attention for no reason & sulking for not getting it, during your partner's working day is very needy & would really piss me off!
We've been happily married, with kids, for over 20yrs & even in the early days, we weren't constantly checking in.

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BlackBean2023 · 31/01/2024 22:17

Rarely. Most are just confirming we've got something for dinner/picked DC up or going to be late.

My DH would think I'd gone mad if I text him to tell him I'd arrived at work safely Grin

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PieAndLattes · 31/01/2024 22:20

Never - not unless it was mission critical.

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merryhouse · 31/01/2024 22:27

Never

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whatthehelldowecare · 31/01/2024 23:09

We message on and off all day just about mundane stuff and general chat. Both of us just message/reply when we can with no expectation for it to be right away. Some days we're texting constantly, others when one or both of us are busy it's never except maybe at lunch etc

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HardcoreLadyType · 31/01/2024 23:10

Quite a lot, really, seeing we work together…

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Forgottenmypasswordagain · 31/01/2024 23:46

Never have, except for a couple medical emergencies.

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vdbfamily · 31/01/2024 23:49

For emergencies usually or maybe a chat during lunch break but don't usually take one.

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friendlycat · 31/01/2024 23:53

Never unless something crops up that requires a chat.

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ViscousFluidFlow · 31/01/2024 23:55

I am retired now but honestly it should be almost never in work time unless very important as people are there to work. DH always rings me as he walks from car to car park to say he is leaving and always has as his job is flexible.

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DPotter · 01/02/2024 00:23

Death and hospital admissions - I kid you not.

I love my mobile phone, but I can't get my head around all this text / messaging during the working day. I've never had a job where it was possible, other than lunch breaks and DP's job it's never really been possible either.

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ItIsLobstersAllTheWayDown · 01/02/2024 00:57

Not much, varies from day to day and there can be long gaps depending where we are and what we are doing (my partner is a scientist, I'm part time office-based (mostly WFH) so can be there or out and about on personal errands, volunteering or work things. We do have a routine of WhatsApping (and emailing) about various domestic things most days, but there is no minimum, there is often a delay in replying of up to a few hours with no recriminations, and we are generally discussing things that are practical, which can be tackled during a break or at the end of the day by one or the other, or need a quick opinion or quick reminder. Sometimes someone will say "how's your day going" or "good luck in the presentation" or "everything all right with your line manager now" or similar. The most back-and-forth is after work to coordinate things like shopping, how many in for tea and who is cooking it, who is taking the bins out or putting the laundry on, any changes to who is going out or timings to meet up or expecting time home (can be changed as the evening goes on), that sort of thing. It certainly is quite minimal, and we would never ever expect it to take time away from, or occur during, demanding work, presentations, meetings - that would be distracting and inappropriate and affect productivity.

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Ahsoka2001 · 01/02/2024 00:58

Me and my partner work together. We often get the same breaks and can talk before/after our shifts. It's how we met

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ItIsLobstersAllTheWayDown · 01/02/2024 00:58

OP your husband sounds controlling. And unprofessional if he's texting you while presenting!

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theduchessofspork · 01/02/2024 01:02

Never unless one of us needs to say something. A quick text if we do.

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VeryDiscombobulated · 01/02/2024 11:57

As often as we can, depending on how busy we are, sometimes just silly stuff. We've been together 34 years and I don't expect we will ever stop

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Scorchio84 · 02/02/2024 02:23

43ontherocksporfavor · 31/01/2024 19:18

Never really. I’m in a classroom so no phones allowed. I check at break time and lunchtime but would only text if it couldn’t wait until the evening which is rare. If I ever ring DH with something important it’s a v quick call as he’s always really busy.

That's really interesting, I'm in a classroom too & all our staff have our phones within reach at all times, they're essential for internal messaging like "so & so's mam is here to pick him up" or "Don't forget to be vigilant with x about his dairy/whatever allergy" (he's crafty at beaktimes swapping with his friends) stuff like that or in yard if sending someone in who's been injured to give first aid a heads up, our work whatsapp never stops now I think of it

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Spencer0220 · 02/02/2024 02:53

Your husband expects too much.

When DH worked in an office, I'd text through the day if I wasn't working about stuff. And he'd ignore me. like a placeholder for my brain to tell him stuff later. We agreed this.

We had an agreement of an emoji we could use for "this is an emergency. Stop work and phone." I used it once when he was in a meeting and I needed a yes/no answer that absolutely couldn't wait.

Now he works from home, I only text him if he's in a meeting and I need something from the room he's in.

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Glitterblue · 02/02/2024 02:57

When we were both working in our respective offices full time, we generally didn’t, maybe at lunch time or if there was something urgent that one needed to ask or tell the other. Now we both work from home 99% of the time and we will have our morning break together and eat lunch together and sometimes go for a quick walk together at lunchtime but other than that, we both just keep our heads down and get on with our work.

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JDJT · 02/02/2024 07:21

chocolatecupcake · 31/01/2024 19:48

I work in the same office as my OH and I still don’t talk to him 😆

I'm not the only one then😄

Can't win though. People have said it's weird we don't talk much at work and then others have said it's not healthy to always be with each other. That's why we just get on with our work! Of course we chat a bit during lunch, if there's something we want to talk about however.

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New2024 · 02/02/2024 10:17

Male colleague gets a text with a specific sound when his OH gets home after nursing shift but they rarely chat or message further than that.

It’s an unspoken rule that if we receive phone calls on our smartphones we go out into the corridor or away to a quiet corner of the office. The exception to this might be the occasional panic call I get from a remote working colleague who’s a bit prone to thinking she’s done something wrong when handling a purchase.

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Mumtime2 · 02/02/2024 17:00

PuttingDownRoots · 31/01/2024 18:14

I can tell how boring DHs day has been by the number of messages I get!

Sometimes its none. Today it was 32.

Love it.

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