Mums, is this weird or am I being weird?

[ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees]

Hi, I don't know if neighbour is weird or if I'm just being silly?

I also don't have any children or huge experience with them. I asked a mom friend and think she is still laughing at me!!!

I don't know my neighbours well other than to wave and say hello in passing. I don't even know their names or they mine. I suspect they don't have family nearby.

This evening I get knock on the door. Male neighbour and his little girl. It's clear little girl (5/6) is a little upset. Mum is pregnant and due in 2 weeks and has been taken to hospital for observation. Don't have full story but iron & blood pressure issues.

The man has asked if I can do his daughter's hair every morning for school as he can't plait it. Little girl has gorgeous long hair she always wears in a plait. He can't plait it.

In awkwardness, I tried to show him how. I think he has bigger things on his mind as he didn't really want to learn, just wants me to do it. Anyway I have agreed to plait it every morning while mum is in hospital once his daughter is here at a certain time. What else could I say?

Is this normal and ok? Will the mum be ok with it? Should kids that age not be able to do it themselves? Could he not just put it in a ponytail?

Please tell me it's normal and I'm just overthinking it. I'm not usually awkward but this has thrown me for some reason. I don't know these people.

It is a suprise request yes, but he's got a lot going on and it's a lovely thing to do for the poor little girl. Long hair does need to be plaited, otherwise it'll get tangled very quickly and cause her distress. There's no way she'd be able to manage long hair at her age. It's a lovely thing you'll do which will mean a lot to the confused and worried little girl I'm sure.

This would freak me out completely. Yes that probably makes me a bad person.

You are lovely OP - everything you've written about your concerns & then your actions is a tick from me. Can't get over some of the bonkers replies on this thread.
You are a good person with your heart in exactly the right place, doing the right thing.

It's weird he just found the nearest woman, assumed she could plait and do kids hair... Also weird he thinks it's reasonable to ask you to do it every morning like you have nothing else to do ..

Very sweet of you though.

Hope kid is ok with stranger doing her hair. If she's that particular about plaits every day she might also only want it the way mum does it ...

As a mum I would think you were very sweet to agree to such a random request, although I would feel mega awkward DH asked in the first place. I would also tell DH he should have bloody watched you tube and worked it out himself rather than bother a neighbour he doesn't know. Clearly not an equal parent.

Dad is clearly panicking!
She'd probably benefit from having her hair just as normal whilst Mum is away.
It would be nice to do it if you can x

I think you’ve been very kind. I hope life treats you with unexpected kindness when you need it.

Show the kid youtube videos to show her daddy

I haven't read every post of TFT but all of OP's. @ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees you are a lovely, warm-hearted and creative person. That family, especially the little girl, will remember you as such.

How very dare he! Oh the pearl clutching here is ridiculous. OP, you’re doing a kindness to a little girl whose world is in the process of being turned upside down. And at least now you can get to know your neighbours so win/win.

It’s weird, I’d have said no. I‘m a mum but shit at hair as my own mum was shit at hair and keot ours short. Thankfully I have 2 boys who have also always had short hair so I’ve never had to learn to be good

But yes, you’re a lovely person for agreeing to do it

It’s pathetic isn’t it? 40 years ago my dad managed to do my hair while my mum was in hospital. He’s not even asked a woman he knows or the mother of a similar aged child, just any old random woman. He could have just watched a YouTube video and figured it out.

It’s cheeky of him to ask really. I wouldn’t dream of knocking on my neighbour’s door to ask if he would hang a picture on my wall at a specific time each day. I hope he’s panicked and is massively grateful and understanding if you ever can’t do it. Rather than do it yourself from now on could you say you’re going to teach him how to do it? He will need to know when his wife has a baby stuck to her most of the time!

I honestly don’t get where people are coming from with saying this is a weird thing for a parent to do?

Guy is obviously panicking and stressed about his wife in hospital and is trying to not let his daughter get caught up in that and keep things as normal as possible for her.

Guarantee his wife has been taken into hospital and when he’s explained to his child that mummy won’t be home for a few days she’s freaked out and the first thing that’s come into her head and she’s asked is who is going to do her hair if her mum isn’t there.

I’d bend over backwards to help anyone in a stressful situation like this when something so simple will really make such a difference to them.

Hope no one who’s said it’s weird for him to ask is ever in a situation where they need to rely on help and kindness from strangers.

It's a bit weird since you don't really know each other. I'd wonder if he was trying to use you as free child care since he wasn't really interested in learning how to do it himself.

The girl.is too young to do her own hair, maybe she can brush it but mot properly and she definitely.wont be able to plait it.

You're lovely for doing it. I don't think it's weird. OK you don't know them but you do now :) I'd do it no problem.

Well you'd be totally wrong! Read the OPs updates! Not many of them!

Thank you OP for sharing all the updates and particularly the last one. So heartwarming. It sounds as if you have made new friends and were able to help a family in times of anxiety and uncertainty. That is truly kind of you and I imagine will be remembered by your neighbours for a long time. A small gesture from you clearly meant a lot to the little girl.

Literally can not believe how horrible people are on here. It’s literally disgusting 🙈
this thread really shows what’s wrong with society, when people find an sexist issue with a stressed dad asking a neighbour to do his daughters hair (for his daughters sake) when his wife and baby are in hospital poorly.
christ. This thread is fucking awful.

Exactly this!

I'd guess some of the people on this thread would bump into him, he'd say my DW is in hospital....

They'd trot out, the let me know if I can help and then bitch about him asking ....

Honestly, some people are so unhelpful.

I cannot agree more.....

Op I read your first post and then a few replies and I thought to my self oh no please do not let the typical, bitter, man hating mumsnetters put you off of doing a good deed for someone in need. So glad to read all of your updates and see that you helped him and his daughter, who was no doubt missing her mummy. These little acts of kindness make all of the difference. The world needs people like you.

OP you are just lovely. I decided to just read your comments once I’d seen it had descended into a gender row and it was such a lovely warm story, so thank you!

Aw!!! It takes a village and all that - I think what you did was super sweet! You took a bit of stress off a worried Dad's shoulders, and made a little girl happy 😊