Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mums, is this weird or am I being weird?

619 replies

ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees · 30/01/2024 20:27

Hi, I don't know if neighbour is weird or if I'm just being silly?

I also don't have any children or huge experience with them. I asked a mom friend and think she is still laughing at me!!!

I don't know my neighbours well other than to wave and say hello in passing. I don't even know their names or they mine. I suspect they don't have family nearby.

This evening I get knock on the door. Male neighbour and his little girl. It's clear little girl (5/6) is a little upset. Mum is pregnant and due in 2 weeks and has been taken to hospital for observation. Don't have full story but iron & blood pressure issues.

The man has asked if I can do his daughter's hair every morning for school as he can't plait it. Little girl has gorgeous long hair she always wears in a plait. He can't plait it.

In awkwardness, I tried to show him how. I think he has bigger things on his mind as he didn't really want to learn, just wants me to do it. Anyway I have agreed to plait it every morning while mum is in hospital once his daughter is here at a certain time. What else could I say?

Is this normal and ok? Will the mum be ok with it? Should kids that age not be able to do it themselves? Could he not just put it in a ponytail?

Please tell me it's normal and I'm just overthinking it. I'm not usually awkward but this has thrown me for some reason. I don't know these people.

OP posts:
IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 01/02/2024 17:52

When my daughter was that age she had a friend with long hair that had never been cut. When the mum had to go away unexpectedly she asked me if I would do her hair so I met dad in the playground. He had the hair brush and the elastics and I plaited it for her.

When my oldest daughter was in hospital and I was staying with her DH did the other girls' hair with no issues.

AutumnLeavesOften · 01/02/2024 17:53

ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees · 30/01/2024 20:27

Hi, I don't know if neighbour is weird or if I'm just being silly?

I also don't have any children or huge experience with them. I asked a mom friend and think she is still laughing at me!!!

I don't know my neighbours well other than to wave and say hello in passing. I don't even know their names or they mine. I suspect they don't have family nearby.

This evening I get knock on the door. Male neighbour and his little girl. It's clear little girl (5/6) is a little upset. Mum is pregnant and due in 2 weeks and has been taken to hospital for observation. Don't have full story but iron & blood pressure issues.

The man has asked if I can do his daughter's hair every morning for school as he can't plait it. Little girl has gorgeous long hair she always wears in a plait. He can't plait it.

In awkwardness, I tried to show him how. I think he has bigger things on his mind as he didn't really want to learn, just wants me to do it. Anyway I have agreed to plait it every morning while mum is in hospital once his daughter is here at a certain time. What else could I say?

Is this normal and ok? Will the mum be ok with it? Should kids that age not be able to do it themselves? Could he not just put it in a ponytail?

Please tell me it's normal and I'm just overthinking it. I'm not usually awkward but this has thrown me for some reason. I don't know these people.

Good God people !!

his wife is in hospital, a very young child is upset, if you can help, help them

Do her hair.
I work full time, and I would do it

Not weird at all.

doilooklikeicare · 01/02/2024 17:54

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 01/02/2024 17:47

How lazy of him that he can’t teach himself using the millions of online videos. I agree that he has just outsourced it to the nearest female but I’d be well pissed off as the mum.

Oh well I'm sure she's more concerned about her health and that you of her new born baby!

SoupDragon · 01/02/2024 17:54

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 01/02/2024 17:47

How lazy of him that he can’t teach himself using the millions of online videos. I agree that he has just outsourced it to the nearest female but I’d be well pissed off as the mum.

He tried. His efforts were not "right".

Dad apparently tried but "it was loose, he started in the wrong place and didn't look pretty!"

TylaTiga · 01/02/2024 17:58

OP can I just say how utterly lovely you are? This is so kind. If I was her mother I would first and foremost be ashamed of my husband but I’d be so touched at your offer of kindness.

doilooklikeicare · 01/02/2024 18:02

TylaTiga · 01/02/2024 17:58

OP can I just say how utterly lovely you are? This is so kind. If I was her mother I would first and foremost be ashamed of my husband but I’d be so touched at your offer of kindness.

Ashamed 😆!

MsDoorway · 01/02/2024 18:04

Imagine if a woman asked a neighbour to do this because her DH was away in hospital.

The responses would be very different, I imagine. Men are just as capable as plaiting hair as women. I would've shown him a YouTube video on how to plait if he'd asked me

Ofcourseshecan · 01/02/2024 18:05

OP, you sound lovely. Well done for helping a worried little girl (and therefore her parents too) during a stressful time. Also giving your DP a valuable lesson in not presuming things women do must be easy! 😂
Best wishes to you all.

PaperRhino · 01/02/2024 18:08

It is kind of weird but I guess the dad has a lot on his mind worrying about his wife and unborn baby and doesn't want his daughter to be upset about having the 'wrong' hairstyle for school on top of all the other stress that must be transmitting itself to her.

My DD was very particular about her hair at one stage - if one of the popular girls had a certain style they ALL wanted it, and though it seemed daft to me it mattered to her. It is a nice thing to do anyway and you might become friends as well as neighbours. And no, a kid that young probably couldn't plait her own hair, my daughter was about 8 before she could do it.

(I could say FFS why can't a man learn to do a plait, it's not like it's hard, but that's another matter haha.)

Jellybeanz456 · 01/02/2024 18:10

20 years ago no one would of even given this a 2nd thought but then again neighbours looked out for each other bk then,
Op I don't think it's weird and I think it's nice you agreed bet the little girl was happy to having her hair done the way she likes it.

Denimdenimdenim · 01/02/2024 18:10

I would have said yes without hesitation. But, it's not a normal scenario to be fair.

Poinsettiasarevile · 01/02/2024 18:15

I wouldn't accept this level of uselessness from my own partner, i would not facilitate it in a strange man. I would absolutely offer to show him how once or twice, but after that, over to him.

853ax · 01/02/2024 18:16

Big change for the girl with new baby arriving and expected fright her mom going an ambulance. Can imagine how she expressed this with worry about her hair being done.
So I think it was very nice of the dad to reach out.
Sometimes that all it takes kid could have decided on morning she ok with pony tail.
Ended up connecting with neighbours so that nice to see well done ! Sure you will be happy to know them when need help yourself at some stage.

12345mummy · 01/02/2024 18:17

It’s lovely you said yes and perhaps this will be the time you get to know their names and get to know them a little better.

Oaktree55 · 01/02/2024 18:17

Clearly stressful situation with an upset young child whose mother is in hospital, she must be terrified. So he's panicked as she's probably been focussing her upset on her hair as this was something her mother did. Yes it's unusual but surely shows how stressed they are. I wouldn't over think it.

Sunnysideup999 · 01/02/2024 18:18

I’d plait the girls hair in a heart beat and also ask them if they needed anything else…
he’s clearly struggling and it’s the least anything with a human soul would do

Isitbedtimeyet3 · 01/02/2024 18:20

I think it’s sweet he asked. He is struggling but wants her to feel good and have her usual style. He could just send her in looking like a scruffball but he’s made an effort

BubbleBubbleBubbleBubblePop · 01/02/2024 18:22

Panterus · 30/01/2024 20:32

I find it very odd.

He could have learned to do a simple plait in minutes from a video online.

Feels like he's just outsourced it to the nearest woman.

I've watched numerous YouTube videos and still can't get the hang of it!

Lifeomars · 01/02/2024 18:23

it is a bit unusual, but so kind of you to help out and I hope that this is the start of a new friendship for you (if you want it) with your neighbours. I would have said yes as I can imagine how this will bring some normality into the little girl's life during a time of upheaval. If I was the dad I would be super grateful to you, what lovely person you are.

user1984778379202 · 01/02/2024 18:25

What a lovely neighbour you are! Ignore the naysayers, it was a kind thing to do during a stressful period for your neighbours and it sounds like you've got new friends out of it, so it's a win-win!

RantyAnty · 01/02/2024 18:30

male entitlement of free women's labor has no bounds does it!

Coffeeandcatsforlife · 01/02/2024 18:30

I have boys so would be as clueless as him but if I’d had girls and came to ask I’d happily oblige, I think it’s sweet. It’s a nice way to become a bit friendlier. I don’t think it’s weird.

momonpurpose · 01/02/2024 18:31

catmomma67 · 30/01/2024 20:30

personally i would find it weird that a strange person asked me to do their childs hair.. but, bless him, he's got a lot going on and he is obviously trying.. if you are happy to do it, then great, but if you are uncomfortable then be honest and open with him and i am sure he will appreciate it

Agreed I'm sure he is super stressed to be desperate enough to go ask. What a lovely thing you are doing but yes a bit weird.

LynetteScavo · 01/02/2024 18:34

Oaktree55 · 01/02/2024 18:17

Clearly stressful situation with an upset young child whose mother is in hospital, she must be terrified. So he's panicked as she's probably been focussing her upset on her hair as this was something her mother did. Yes it's unusual but surely shows how stressed they are. I wouldn't over think it.

This!

I think it's really great the dad asked for help. Asking for support is a great life skill. Poor bloke is probably overwhelmed with life at the moment.

Good job he didn't ask me, I'm unbelievably crap at styling girls hair

Knitgoodwoman · 01/02/2024 18:34

She may just really be used to the routine and missing her mum. You’ve been very kind Op and it’s a bit sad there are people saying it’s odd or weird. They’re entitled to feel that way. But it’s still sad. Kindness is brilliant and the world is a better place for it.