Mums, is this weird or am I being weird?

[ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees]

Hi, I don't know if neighbour is weird or if I'm just being silly?

I also don't have any children or huge experience with them. I asked a mom friend and think she is still laughing at me!!!

I don't know my neighbours well other than to wave and say hello in passing. I don't even know their names or they mine. I suspect they don't have family nearby.

This evening I get knock on the door. Male neighbour and his little girl. It's clear little girl (5/6) is a little upset. Mum is pregnant and due in 2 weeks and has been taken to hospital for observation. Don't have full story but iron & blood pressure issues.

The man has asked if I can do his daughter's hair every morning for school as he can't plait it. Little girl has gorgeous long hair she always wears in a plait. He can't plait it.

In awkwardness, I tried to show him how. I think he has bigger things on his mind as he didn't really want to learn, just wants me to do it. Anyway I have agreed to plait it every morning while mum is in hospital once his daughter is here at a certain time. What else could I say?

Is this normal and ok? Will the mum be ok with it? Should kids that age not be able to do it themselves? Could he not just put it in a ponytail?

Please tell me it's normal and I'm just overthinking it. I'm not usually awkward but this has thrown me for some reason. I don't know these people.

A child that age couldn't plait her own hair but yes odd for him to ask you as you don't really know them. It sounds as though he was panicking though.
You could suggest that she sleeps in the plaits. My GD does this sometimes and it's fine the next day.

I don’t think it’s weird. I think it’s lovely. Perhaps I’m an old romantic and think this is how people would have been with their neighbours many, many years ago.

If you can & are able to help, then I would. It would be very kind of you.

So weird. I’d have agreed to send him some YouTube links, no more. Being female doesn’t mean you come with hair styling skills built in. Same goes for domestic drudgery and child rearing.

His wife is in hospital with possible pre-eclampsia (going by what the OP wrote) and he's probably stressed and not thinking straight at all.

He probably has seen the OP and thought "There is someone that can help me get through the next couple of weeks by doing something small for me and DD".

I think it is lovely that you said that you would help out @ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees and I hope the little girl remembers this in the weeks, months and years to come that you helped her get ready for school when her own mum was off having her brother/sister.

Just make sure that you don't get roped into doing more than you are comfortable with.

School would do it if he asks

When my ex husband and I separated he never managed to learn how to put my daughters hair in even the most simple ponytail, claiming how could he when he never had long hair? I didn't until my mid 20s and somehow figured it out 🙄. This is an intelligent and also very handy man who could tile floors, do most plumbing and electrics jobs, etc. I'd pick her up sometimes and be like WTF? Or she told me that sometimes the teacher did it - no doubt unable to look at it for the whole day. I have no idea to this day what it was about....

Oh if only you'd read the updates.......

OPs moved in and taken on all household duties..... laundry, cooking (he's insisted on a Sunday roast obs), he wants batch cooking done for when his DW gets out of hospital.

Honestly, it always starts with could you help with my daughter's hair.......

If you need to go line to see how to do it then tell him about it but for now I'd help. When mum comes home it's a way to make friends and it might be lovely for all of you.

It was lovely of you to do it, I'm sure that little girl really appreciates it and in future if you meet her in the lift you will be meeting a little friend not a stranger.

It is weird
My first thought was why not put it in a ponytail too OP
But also I think it’s quite sweet that he asked you. He obviously feels you are a nice person.
So I’d go with the flow if it’s not putting you out.
These small gestures can make such a difference

I forgot again to check how many pages!

Great news that all is well

What a lovely update. Ok you’re kind OP and hope this is the beginning of a new friendship for all of you.

I posted prior to reading your updates and you sound like a really lovely person OP
one of your updates even brought tears to my eyes….

I mean, I can see that it might be a bit of an odd request coming from a man you don't know and for a child you've never met BUT if it helps the little girl's days feel a bit more normal at a time when things are clearly a bit stressful at home then where's the harm, really?

If you can do little things for people then why not, would be my argument.

You've done a lovely thing, I think.

It's the kind of thing that wasn't that unusual when I was a little girl in the '60s.

My mum was taken to hospital during the night - an attempt to stop a miscarriage which ultimately failed, but she was away for some time.

I stayed with an aunt and uncle during the week and my dad at weekends. (He was a coalminer on shift work.)

I have a vague recollection of a female neighbour doing my hair for me from time to time. I'm not sure whether Dad asked or whether she offered.

OP you did the right thing and it was lovely of you to do so.

I'm appalled at how selfish some people are on this thread. Helping in this sort of scenario is pretty much never the wrong thing to do. I don't know what happened to the concept of helping neighbours.

I don't think it's particularly odd and I think it's nice that you agreed!

Women with long hair have had their whole lives to learn plaits etc, whereas men have generally had shorter hair and not had to try it.

I can imagine the husband struggling to learn when he is stressed about his wife and unborn baby, hurrying to get a child to school on time, and the child crying when he doesn't do it as well as they'd like (small children can be quite particular 😄).

Nothing wrong with asking for help every now & then!

Such a lovely update.

Well done you for helping them out.

this

How lazy of him that he can’t teach himself using the millions of online videos. I agree that he has just outsourced it to the nearest female but I’d be well pissed off as the mum.

At 5/6 I dont think they would be able to plait it but its abit wierd as he doesn’t really know you and totally put you on the spot. I can only think he doesn’t do much of the childcare and is panicking abit that Mum isn’t there to do it. You would have thought he could either look online and learn or gone with a simple hairstyle like bunches (or asked someone he knows).

I think he’s probably abit overwhelmed but you are being kind doing it.

You sound so lovely OP 🩷

That's HILARIOUSLY obtuse of him. I would help.

And yes of course he can learn to braid. But I would help. He's being a bit of a ditz sure, but I would not prioritise teaching him gender equality at this precise moment in time.

Good job you’re not then isn’t it.

It’s my DH.

He cannot even give DD a neat ponytail, it looks awful. He wouldn’t ask a neighbour though!