Mums, is this weird or am I being weird?

[ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees]

Hi, I don't know if neighbour is weird or if I'm just being silly?

I also don't have any children or huge experience with them. I asked a mom friend and think she is still laughing at me!!!

I don't know my neighbours well other than to wave and say hello in passing. I don't even know their names or they mine. I suspect they don't have family nearby.

This evening I get knock on the door. Male neighbour and his little girl. It's clear little girl (5/6) is a little upset. Mum is pregnant and due in 2 weeks and has been taken to hospital for observation. Don't have full story but iron & blood pressure issues.

The man has asked if I can do his daughter's hair every morning for school as he can't plait it. Little girl has gorgeous long hair she always wears in a plait. He can't plait it.

In awkwardness, I tried to show him how. I think he has bigger things on his mind as he didn't really want to learn, just wants me to do it. Anyway I have agreed to plait it every morning while mum is in hospital once his daughter is here at a certain time. What else could I say?

Is this normal and ok? Will the mum be ok with it? Should kids that age not be able to do it themselves? Could he not just put it in a ponytail?

Please tell me it's normal and I'm just overthinking it. I'm not usually awkward but this has thrown me for some reason. I don't know these people.

It's lovely to help people out and I'm sure it will be returned. Who cares if he can't do a plait, plenty of women can't. its not crime of the century. Save you concern for something that really matters 😂

This is funny! I get it, I’m torn between ‘huh’ and ‘it’s sweet’

You don’t know them so I can’t understand why that would be the Dad’s solution! It’s a lot to agree to, a small one but still a daily responsibility. However, I like that the Dad had the guts to ask so his daughter can keep nice hair whilst they’ve got huge stuff going on and you’re really kind for agreeing.

So yeah, odd but no harm in it.

I’m not a mum but wanted to say I’ve read the thread through and think it’s been lovely of you to help your neighbours out and get the dad learning how to do it too.

It’s a little strange but he obviously needs help and thinks you are a suitable person to ask, I’d take it as a compliment and a lovely thing that your doing to help a family who is struggling at the moment hopefully he thanks you for your support. Also 6 year olds can’t typically do their own hair maybe brush it but unlikely to be able to plait it themselves

Yes, very weird.

He could have explain to his daughter that while mum is away she would need to wear her hair in a different way or learn to do it himself.

Instead he opted to outsource his job and the nearest WOMAN he could find. Like your time is not precious and you have nothing better to do.If you were friends this could be different... but still I believe he should have dealt with such a small thing himself.Fathers and Mothers should be able to parent on their own.

I found annoying so many people think this acceptable...

Yes! So odd.

You're doing a nice thing. It is a little strange that he asked, but I wouldn't worry unless he asks you to cook their supper and run the hoover around while his wife's in hospital. Maybe he is just really hamfisted and doesn't want to make his daughter upset by butchering her head every morning, at a time when she's already missing her mum.

I don’t understand why it needs to be a plait? Just tell your child you will need to wear hair down in a hair band or in a pony tail, or give her a bobble round her wrist and the teacher would probably do it at if needed for PE, I find this totally weird and sexist tbh

I think it’s sweet he’s trying hard to help his daughter when he must be feeling overwhelmed and worried. Take it as a compliment.

I think it's a lovely thing for you to do and as a mum who was crap at hair, I'd have let the devil himself do my daughter's hair if they could braid!! You never know, this might be the beginning of a lovely friendship. And mum just might be that little less stressed while in hospital by knowing her daughter is happy going to school.

This whole story is just lovely!
I'm so glad it all worked out, hopefully Mum and new baby will be fine and home soon ❤️
You’re very kind to help out and Dad must have been in a right pickle to have asked you!

When I was young, my mum had an operation and was in hospital for a few days, my Dad couldn’t do my hair (was very long and thick) so I stayed off school. If only he’d thought of asking a neighbour to help! 😁

no she should not be able to do it for herself. BUT - why doesnt he just youtube how to do a plait? Good learning opportunity for him. It would make more sense if he asked you to show him how to do it.

Some of these comments are awful- my husband can do it because he’s a great partner blah blah blah!!! Yes he probably can do a ponytail but if the little girl is set on a plait then I guess that’s why he asked because she is probably upset about her mum being away and knowing a new baby will be arriving soon. Yes a little odd to ask a neighbour you don’t know so well but he probably panicked with a lot of his kind. MN is so full of men hating people it’s mental how some even have partners or husbands!
you saying yes is a lovely thing to do and you may well end up having a lovely relationship with the family and become friends after helping them out: that’s what neighbours do after all

I don't hate men, I just have little patience for those who aren't equal parents and put their children into situations such as this one. OP says he is already learning, he should've done this ages ago.

My husband is an equal parent. Anything I can do, he can also do.

Equal parents yes doesn’t mean everyone is good at everything. How do we know this dad hasn’t been trying for a long time and just can’t get the knack of it. Not everyone can do everything that everyone else can! There is a knack to it and some people just don’t have it and maybe this little girl desperately likes her hair that way and he was doing what he could to make sure she was happy in a probably upsetting situation is what I’m saying. I don’t think that makes him anything less like people have implied

OP has already said that he's improving with her showing him. I find it hard to believe that he'd been trying for a long time, couldn't do it but is now suddenly making progress.

The most likely scenario is that it is his wife's job and it never occurred to him to learn how to do it himself. Hopefully it's at least a lesson learned, especially as he's now about to have two children.

From all your posts, it actually sounds like he's a good dad who just wants some normalcy for his daughter in a difficult time. I know if I needed help with anything, my neighbours would be there even though we don't know each other very well.
It's been really nice reading about neighbours being helpful and friendly.

Lesson learned !! Wow just wow . Imagine bitching online about a dad trying and trying to keep his daughter happy with how she wants her hair. We do not know what kind of dynamic they have and why he hasn’t prioritised learning to plait hair 🤦‍♀️

OP I think you’ve done a lovely thing for this little girl that they will all remember when they needed a little help so well done.

I think it is a bit odd but he is likely stressed and doesn't want to upset the girl anymore than she already is. I think it's nice you can help.
Everyone complains we don't help neighbours and then complains if someone reaches out for support at a time of emergency.
If your happy too then do the hair, make/buy them some food or a cake and drop off a card when hopefully the baby is home safe. You will then have neighbours happy to help you for as long as your there!

Last update:

A baby girl arrived earlier today and mum & baby are both going well. Need minor observations but nothing serious and expected home on Sunday.

My services are no longer required!

I'll give it a few weeks before calling over with a small present & of course some new hair accessories for the new big sister so she doesn't feel left out!

Very surprised that this thread got a little negative and sexist. If there was a man neighbour with long hair the dad may have asked him. Maybe if he hadn't been so stressed, he would have made different choices etc. Who knows but he did what he thought was best for his daughter at the time.

They are decent people, asked for a very minor bit of help and have been nothing but polite. The dad was really trying and just wanted his daughter to be happy at a stressful time. Tbh, I was more offended by the posts referring to me as "the nearest vagina" than anything the dad did or said.

To be the positive posters who confirmed it was the right thing to do - thank you, I was initially thrown by it.

Responding to your comment on a thread openly asking for opinions on the scenario isn't ''bitching''. It's simply having an opinion, one which some may disagree with which is fine.

Or is the only acceptable response to this thread ''aww bless him''.

What a lovely neighbour you are! I bet they are so grateful to you for helping where you could! People need more people like you and I bet this little girl won’t forget what you did!
agreed some of the comments are so ridiculous it’s mad but you know you’ve done the right thing x

Some on here need to get a grip, you have no idea why he doesn’t know how to do a plait, maybe mum has always done , his daughter only allowed mum to do etc
the pile on is ridiculous, newsflash there are some women that cannot do plaits as well. And all those we are equal parents that doesn’t mean you all have to be able to do the same, sometimes one parent is just simply better at something than the other. Currently my dh is teaching ds to drive, does that make me lazy because im not, i could do it but hes better and more patient than me.
yes a bit random that he asked OP as does not know her but he just seems to be trying his best.
typical mumsnet assuming the worst and also how much superior there partner is.
I could probably change a tyre but I don’t want to learn so would get my dh to do it or go to a garage, Im sure my dh could do many things I do but he doesn’t have to as I do it and vice versa.

@ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees aww nice to hear about the baby👶

Honestly... No!
"Let me go and ask that woman next door as all women are born with the knowledge on how to plait hair"
The key is, girls may learn to plait hair from about 7/8 but they are children! You're telling me a grown adult can't master it with a few practice runs?
FTLOG!
I'm embarrassed for him!
I hope to god this is bullshit.