Mums, is this weird or am I being weird?

[ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees]

Hi, I don't know if neighbour is weird or if I'm just being silly?

I also don't have any children or huge experience with them. I asked a mom friend and think she is still laughing at me!!!

I don't know my neighbours well other than to wave and say hello in passing. I don't even know their names or they mine. I suspect they don't have family nearby.

This evening I get knock on the door. Male neighbour and his little girl. It's clear little girl (5/6) is a little upset. Mum is pregnant and due in 2 weeks and has been taken to hospital for observation. Don't have full story but iron & blood pressure issues.

The man has asked if I can do his daughter's hair every morning for school as he can't plait it. Little girl has gorgeous long hair she always wears in a plait. He can't plait it.

In awkwardness, I tried to show him how. I think he has bigger things on his mind as he didn't really want to learn, just wants me to do it. Anyway I have agreed to plait it every morning while mum is in hospital once his daughter is here at a certain time. What else could I say?

Is this normal and ok? Will the mum be ok with it? Should kids that age not be able to do it themselves? Could he not just put it in a ponytail?

Please tell me it's normal and I'm just overthinking it. I'm not usually awkward but this has thrown me for some reason. I don't know these people.

Because many women would hear ‘daddy took me to X’s house every morning and she did my hair… yes she is nice… yes, she was friendly to daddy…’ etc and jump to the wrong conclusion.

Dads are often lazy about learning this stuff- I’ve lost count of the blokes shoving their daughters at me outside dance classes like it’s a total surprise to them that they need their hair doing like every other bloody week.

He did try, it wasn't right, daughter was upset. OP did hair, daughter liked and is happy!

It's extremely weird and his wife/partner may not like it one bit when she finds out.

Plait 2 completed.

My partner raised a good point last night about what if the baby is overdue and then also has an extended time in hospital, do I really want to be tied to my apartment every morning for 6 weeks (I stay in his a lot couldn't do that). Anyway I got a little smarter.

Little one arrives this morning. I have my hair on a bun which she says us really cool (not sure but I'll take it!).

I asked if she wanted me to put hers in a bun too. Hesitant but ultimately decided no, a plait is best.

When I finished the plait, I asked if she want to see a cool hair trick. She agrees to a took the plait and wrapped it into a bun. She lovely it so I said, we'll leave it in a plait today but I'm going to show daddy how it can be a bun tomorrow or any day I'm not here.

In fairness to him, he watched and tried it twice and got the hang of it. So tomorrow Dad is going her hair. (Today's plait pinned into a bun).

She's doesn't need it done over weekend.
Monday we'll wait and see.
But she definitely wants a plait on Tuesday because it's PE day.

Incidentally, my partner scoffed at poor dad last night & said plaits are easy. Watched a YouTube video and got a demo from me and then balls it up several times. He's an engineer so fairly handy & vexed at himself that he couldn't manage it! Apparently, women have smaller hands which gives us an advantage 🤔

I'll still do her hair whenever she calls but it's nice to see dad getting to grips with a bun which she also seems to like.

To the cynics, there's no alterior motive here. The man simply cannot plait & watching my partner also try last night has really proven to me, it's not lack of effort, it just something some people struggle with.

If this turns to friendship, great, the more the merrier. As for babysitting & cleaning, I doubt it & would be wise to that immediately.

Mum is also doing much better.

Lovely update. So many people who want to put the worst possible spin on the request because he's a man.

I'm glad the mum is doing better. Dad and daughter must have been quite anxious.

It's the kind of weird thing I would get roped into and be happy to help unless it got in the way of my own stuff

Also people berating him... I can't do plaits; not sure why as it's simple but I feel like it's the same gene that helps you park which I also can't do. 😹 however I can do loads of things that some can't, just can't quite remember what at the min haha

No sorry, I just think it's quite concerning that a grown man can't plait hair nor has kept trying.

Agreed. I think I'd be furious if my husband was bothering neighbours to braid our kids hair.

Also to the posters going at me "he did try and couldn't do it!" Erm, practice?

Am I missing something here?

I also wonder why the child needs to be pandered to so much. She’s 6. If he can’t do a plait, surely he just tells his child ‘sorry, daddy’s tried but I’m really rubbish at plaits. While mummy’s away you can have a ponytail or bunches, which would you like?’

I'd let him know that you might not be available every morning as you sometimes stay elsewhere, and suggest that he could ask one of his daughter's teachers so you don't feel obliged to do this every day. But it's lovely of you to help.

@AndrewGarfieldsLaptop if you read the updates the chap is trying and practicing.
No one is going to become good at something overnight or within a couple of days.
It seems the OP is happy, the little girl is happy, the Dad is happy, the mum is happy.

I'm really pleased Mum is happy, I genuinely am. Actually in fact, I'm happy that everyone is happy. I take back being mardy. I'm in a foul mood so I'm going to scream into a pillow for a bit.

@AndrewGarfieldsLaptop scream away 😂
Edit: and hope you feel better soon 🙂

I'd recommend you show him these videos on how to plait hair, available on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=how+to+plait+hair

I learnt to plait my hair when I was about 7. I'm now 36 and have only just learnt how to do a French plait in my DD's hair, thanks to YouTube.

Before I got divorced, I had to go on a training course leaving DDs with xh and I had to beg a school mum to brush their hair as he 'couldn't do it'. He still can't and if they are going anywhere from his where I can't get to them, I still have to make arrangements.

You are very kind to do this (if you are, not rtft) and I've always been so grateful to anyone I've had to ask.

In an emergency when I had to leave my cat for a fortnight and my usual options weren't available, I'd definitely consider knocking on the door of a friendly neighbour who says hello to me and who has made nice comments about my cat in the past (equivalent situation to the OP who has spoken about daughter's hair previously).

Admittedly, most people wouldn't see inability to plait hair as quite the same level of urgency as needing to keep a pet fed, but I can understand in the circumstances of dad being stressed and daughter being upset that it seemed important to them in the moment.

The divergence of views on this is wild - one person's heartwarming tale of neighbourly support is another person's example of the unreasonable imposition of a chauvenist male exploiting women.

I prefer to live in the world where this is a lovely story about helping each other out. The alternative sounds exhausting and miserable!

Slightly odd, but don’t overthink. He can’t plait it, she is too young so he was trying to find a solution. Of course he should learn but if you don’t mind it’s a nice thing to do. And I can see why your friend is laughing. I bet the mum will be mortified when she finds out!!!!

Oh bless them, he's obviously struggling and terrified and it's just a wee bit of normal for the girl, he might not have the capacity to learn how to do it properly right now

You sound lovely and kind. I'm sure that little girl appreciates your kind act in the mornings.

Yeah it's a bit weird, I think if you had children of the same age, at same school perhaps and perhaps had some kind of neighbourly relationship established or friendship with mum that would be a lot less weird. As previous posters have said, there are tutorials out there, although i must say, some people don't find this kind of stuff easy, I'm hopeless at hairstyles and can only seem to manage do the most basic ones neatly. Doesn't change the fact that asking you is a bit odd!

Sorry, just read your update OP ! That's lovely. Maybe we are all just a bunch of unfriendly cynics nowadays and need to learn to be a bit more neighbourly 😀

I’d actually take it as a compliment who clearly finds you approachable and caring and has asked for help in need.

People generally say ‘ask if you need help’ someone asks and gets told their weird.

Men don’t always ask for help, hence why male mental health is such a taboo.