To not want to go to work tomorrow due to shitty email?

[shittyemail]

I don't know if I'm overreacting here.

On Friday evening I worked past my hours to deal with what was a potentially challenging / contentious issue that had arisen that day. It caused me a lot of stress but no one else from my team was around to bounce anything off on Friday, so I dealt with it the best I could by myself. I then emailed the relevant colleagues on Friday evening who needed to know what had happened and how I'd dealt with it, so they'd be appraised of the situation.

I don't work Mondays but I logged in today just to see what I'm going into tomorrow. I'd had a reply from one of the senior members of the team (not my direct line manager but senior in the organisation) basically reprimanding me in what feels like a shitty way for one small aspect of how I dealt with the situation, ignoring the fact I worked past my hours to deal with the entire situation myself. She also hadn't commented on the issue itself really, she's just offered a criticism of one small aspect of how I dealt with it (which I also happen to disagree with her on). My main gripe is not that she disagrees with my approach as such, but that her reply was unnecessarily shitty and there was no thanks for dealing with the situation, and on top of that she "sent to all" instead of just me, so this now essentially feels like a public telling off via email as 5 other members of the team are copied in. I feel she could have more sensitively communicated her disagreement with the small aspect she has chosen to comment on, for example by just raising that part directly with me.

The upshot is I now feel anxious to go into work tomorrow because I am angry about the way she's handled it and don't particularly want to face her (she's not the most approachable person at the best of times), and also I just don't get paid enough to work past my hours on a Friday to give a shit about issues that might affect my team, to then receive basically no thanks and just criticism instead.

AIBU?

YANBU at all to feel that way.

Can you forward it to your line manager?

I think I would email back pointing out that you did stay past your hours to try to resolve a complex issue and perhaps going forward someone more senior could be available to contact in this type of situation. I would apologise for the error and say clearly you needed guidance therefore would like to chat about what to do should similar happen in future. I wouldn't be anxious, and if necessary I would point out how you have avoided a bigger issue with your actions. Some managers are really shitty but it's hard to know as your post is (obviously) vague so can't pinpoint the sticking point between the two of you.

Thanks @Hipnotised, yeah I am definitely going to raise it with my own line manager. This woman is senior within the organisation but she has no direct line management responsibility for me. She does enjoy throwing her weight around a bit though, I've seen her do this with others.

Actually I would go talk to my own manager and tell him/ her what you told us: that you worked late, alone , to deal with the situation; you did your best to put it to bed; you do not appreciate being called out in front of colleagues, but would appreciate her inout, and if needs be her support.

Cross post. Definitely get your own manager onside.

Thanks @BigSquareShoe

Yes the most frustrating part is that my actions on Friday most likely did prevent this situation from becoming more serious, and without giving away the nature of my work, everyone really, really should be at least a little thankful for that!

It's good that she copied everyone.

She will not come off well. You will.

You can hold your head high. You did nothing wrong.

Really good plan, I will do this tomorrow. Thank you.

I've got myself really worked up about it for two reasons I think - 1. Because it was it really stressful situation that I actually lost some sleep over this weekend so it's hard to separate my emotions from it, and 2. The shitty email sender is not the most approachable person at the best of times.

Therefore my worry is, if I discuss this with her I worry I'll end up in tears due to a combination of the above!

Omit her from such emails in future.

I agree with @BigSquareShoe .

Focusing on how your proactive approach prevented the situation from becoming more serious, and asking for specific guidance on how to act in similar situations in future, is the way to go. Complaining about the email would raise hackles and create bad blood - and might potentially land you in an awkward situation.

I would email back (saying exactly what you said in your op)
I would add

I.was disappointed to read this email as i had worked way beyond my hours trying to solve this while everyone else was unavailable, and i had to deal with this alone.

I suggest going forward we support each other for successful outcomes

All of this

I've had something, with someone emailing me and cc loads of people in. I was upset as felt humiliated in front of everyone. But actually so many people contacted me (who were on the email) to say what a bitch she was and they all agreed with me 🤣

@PaminaMozart

Yes I don't think I'm going to raise the email with her, just the situation in general and the specific point she criticised me on, to ask her for guidance for future. I also don't particularly agree with her on what she said I should have done - I believe her approach could have potentially created more problems. So there's an element of, the email was shitty, but also I disagree with her. So it's a bad combination!

I actually even rang my friend (and colleague) who I work with today after I read the email (she was one of the 5 other recipients copied in), and asked her for her opinion on whether I was overreacting. She said "no, the tone was really off. I did think you'd have been annoyed". So it's not just me who's taken the email this way.

Oh I couldn’t help but send a catty reply. Something like
Thank you for your feedback. Just to clarify though, should a similar situation arise in the future where I am working out of hours, unpaid and alone, would you rather I contact you directly to check you’re happy with my response? If so do you have a work number that will be on at all hours or should I take your personal number?

I would not reply to her shitty email. I would forward it to your manager and say the nit-picking and public ticking off is very demotivating. Point out that your effort helped to avoid a worse outcome. Tell your manager that another time, you will walk out of the door bang on time regardless what crisis has arisen but you will in such an eventuality email/text your manager so they can pick up the issue out of hours if they wish to. Say you are not keen to expose yourself to criticism in front of the team when you try to go above and beyond. Let your manager know he’s welcome to pass your feedback on to the shitty senior colleague.

I've had emails like this from certain senior colleagues. Honestly just ignore it. You know you handled it as well as you could and this person can frankly stuff their opinion. It's not like you will be fired or disciplined over it. Go into work with your head held high. But tell your line manager that this person sent you a rude email criticising you unnecessarily. Chances are they have heard it before and that person does it all the flipping time.

This is good advice too.

Shitty emails deserve a shitty response. Just blow your top with a response. As long as you are factual and don't throw insults there is little they can do about it.

Don't worry, everyone else would have read the reply and thought WTF. You can get your line manager on side and express your disappointment, but realistically think what kind of support you want from her, there may be very little she can do apart from showing sympathy.

Reply to all 'YOU'RE WELCOME'!!

Don't reply to the email. There's nothing worse than being ignored and everyone can see she is being a dick.

Yeah, I'll not be in a hurry to go above and beyond in future that's for sure! I'll do the bare minimum from now on, in case I end up publicly criticised again!

Don't reply to her email directly with passive aggressive comments. You will also end up looking unprofessional if you do that. At the moment you have the moral high ground here.
Do as you plan - raise it with your own line manager verbally and if necessary discuss it in person with the person who undermined you but don't do it by email.

😂😂