To not want to go to work tomorrow due to shitty email?

[shittyemail]

I don't know if I'm overreacting here.

On Friday evening I worked past my hours to deal with what was a potentially challenging / contentious issue that had arisen that day. It caused me a lot of stress but no one else from my team was around to bounce anything off on Friday, so I dealt with it the best I could by myself. I then emailed the relevant colleagues on Friday evening who needed to know what had happened and how I'd dealt with it, so they'd be appraised of the situation.

I don't work Mondays but I logged in today just to see what I'm going into tomorrow. I'd had a reply from one of the senior members of the team (not my direct line manager but senior in the organisation) basically reprimanding me in what feels like a shitty way for one small aspect of how I dealt with the situation, ignoring the fact I worked past my hours to deal with the entire situation myself. She also hadn't commented on the issue itself really, she's just offered a criticism of one small aspect of how I dealt with it (which I also happen to disagree with her on). My main gripe is not that she disagrees with my approach as such, but that her reply was unnecessarily shitty and there was no thanks for dealing with the situation, and on top of that she "sent to all" instead of just me, so this now essentially feels like a public telling off via email as 5 other members of the team are copied in. I feel she could have more sensitively communicated her disagreement with the small aspect she has chosen to comment on, for example by just raising that part directly with me.

The upshot is I now feel anxious to go into work tomorrow because I am angry about the way she's handled it and don't particularly want to face her (she's not the most approachable person at the best of times), and also I just don't get paid enough to work past my hours on a Friday to give a shit about issues that might affect my team, to then receive basically no thanks and just criticism instead.

AIBU?

And reply to all.

I had this once. Was well pissed off if spent my evening taking calls when trying to buy wine in Sainsbury’s just to be told ‘I would have dealt with that differently’

but anyway, if I didn’t go to work everytime I got a shitty email, I’d never go. Suck it up. Big girl pants.

This is a good suggestion, I think my friend would be more than willing to do that actually!

People who copy shitty messages like this to a lot of people often find it backfires on them. You may well find tomorrow that your colleagues support you and think this woman has behaved badly.

One of the lessons you can take from this @shittyemail is to never check your emails when you're not working. Had you not logged in, you'd not have seen this email until tomorrow, and you wouldn't have ruined the end of your weekend.

I never check my work emails unless I'm actually going to do some work (and I do sometimes decide to do work outside my official hours). It was a lesson it took me far too long to learn.

@shittyemail Sorry you've experienced that.
Not something that you should pass on, but a while ago, a female Executive Director created merry hell over something that I did with the full approval of in-house lawyers which saved the organisation almost £2 million.
Several years later, after I had been forced out, it became apparent that any e-mail sent after hours was a risk because 7pm was when she started drinking. Her husband drove her to and from the office because she would always be over the limit.
Your harpy may have different mood triggers, but if you bear that in mind, it might save a world of pain.

I'm confident that you'll have a lot more fans than critics when you get to work.

YANBU I would be fuming.

Not unreasonable at all. You won't be the only person that finds this manager unapproachable and trust me, everyone on the email will think she's a twat for sending it. Definitely bring up with your line manager though, for reasons others have said further up the thread.
I work with someone who likes to bollock people with others cc'd in all the time. We all just roll our eyes and think 'dickhead', delete the mail and move on!

I would let this go. But don't do any more favours for anybody and certainly not for the shitty boss. And maybe start looking for another job. Much as I'm sure you would like to send a sharp reply don't.

Not sure if it's a good idea to raise this with your line manager. Depends how serious you feel it is and whether you think your line manager will be sympathetic.

How to not motivated people. Poor management.

"I've had something, with someone emailing me and cc loads of people in. I was upset as felt humiliated in front of everyone. But actually so many people contacted me (who were on the email) to say what a bitch she was and they all agreed with me 🤣"

Sorry quote fail but yes came here to say this! I had a widely cc'd email sent to (about) me and had three people contact me supportively about it. People know.

This. 100%

Yes this. Don't add fire to the situation by trying to get one up on her. It will publically humiliate her and she will make your cards forever more.
Ignore, go to your line manager and get them to sort the situation. The split back and wait for karma.
Please don't do some of the ridiculous suggestions on here.

Don't follow this advice!

It reflects worse on her than on you. Anyone who gives challenging feedback like this and copies in everyone else will have the other participants rolling heir eyes. Imagine how you'd react if this was about someone else and you'd been copied in on the email. I doubt you'd be tutting at someone in your position, you'd be thinking 'what a bitch to copy everyone in on her email'

No decent manager or leader would publicly give feedback like this in an open forum. She's being rude, disrespectful and clearly wasn't looking at it from a 'training' perspective, she simply wanted others to know she was working outside of her hours and trying to step on you to look better to her colleagues.

As others have said I'd not even dignify it with a response, but I would speak to my direct manager and give feedback about how badly this person has managed her communication and how incorrect her advice was.

Ooh, I like this response👆but I don't think I'd be bold enough, 😏

Just take some deep breaths and say you did your best given the situation. Did anyone die? No? It's fine.

This type of shit is why I'm so glad I don't work anymore. Spending the majority of your life with people you can barely tolerate and dealing with ego maniacs on power trips. I've had a few experiences with people like this, both over email and phone and I wiped the floor with the lot of them each time. I'd have to email back, cc in your manager and her superior (but not everyone else) and respond as you have on here, pointing out you don't appreciate a public telling off as it is completely unprofessional.

Nah - don't grovel

This!

I really wouldn't send that - so snippy, 'poor me' and passive aggressive

I think basically she can’t cope with the fact that you were capable enough of single-handedly saving the day. So she’s attempted to chop you down to size a bit. Making her look insecure and a bit of a fool.

I have done this in the past, but being bolshie me, I replied-all so that everyone who saw her (it was a "her") email to me, saw my reply to her. Not saying that was a good idea, but I got a lot of satisfaction .

Suggest building this into your crises management plan. If you don't have one, this is a good impetus to get one sorted. Also probably worth noting in your company's risk assessment with mitigations in place to ensure you/ others aren't in same situation again. Making these suggestions makes you look v good 👍

Not at all unreasonable. I hate these types of people. Rude, creates bad atmosphere, unhelpful and disrespectful basically a bully.

His or her action is totally unacceptable and I hope you have the energy to challenge or report this senior member of the team. Write everything you have written above and highlight the stress it caused you without even them appreciating what you had to deal with.