To not want to go to work tomorrow due to shitty email?

[shittyemail]

I don't know if I'm overreacting here.

On Friday evening I worked past my hours to deal with what was a potentially challenging / contentious issue that had arisen that day. It caused me a lot of stress but no one else from my team was around to bounce anything off on Friday, so I dealt with it the best I could by myself. I then emailed the relevant colleagues on Friday evening who needed to know what had happened and how I'd dealt with it, so they'd be appraised of the situation.

I don't work Mondays but I logged in today just to see what I'm going into tomorrow. I'd had a reply from one of the senior members of the team (not my direct line manager but senior in the organisation) basically reprimanding me in what feels like a shitty way for one small aspect of how I dealt with the situation, ignoring the fact I worked past my hours to deal with the entire situation myself. She also hadn't commented on the issue itself really, she's just offered a criticism of one small aspect of how I dealt with it (which I also happen to disagree with her on). My main gripe is not that she disagrees with my approach as such, but that her reply was unnecessarily shitty and there was no thanks for dealing with the situation, and on top of that she "sent to all" instead of just me, so this now essentially feels like a public telling off via email as 5 other members of the team are copied in. I feel she could have more sensitively communicated her disagreement with the small aspect she has chosen to comment on, for example by just raising that part directly with me.

The upshot is I now feel anxious to go into work tomorrow because I am angry about the way she's handled it and don't particularly want to face her (she's not the most approachable person at the best of times), and also I just don't get paid enough to work past my hours on a Friday to give a shit about issues that might affect my team, to then receive basically no thanks and just criticism instead.

AIBU?

Honestly, I wouldn’t blow it up into a Big Thing.

This colleague is known for being an arse so nobody will take her comments seriously. I wouldn’t even respond to her at all. Just have a quiet word with your own manager saying you didn’t appreciate the tone of it.

Then try not to copy her in to anything or have much to do with her unless it’s absolutely unavoidable going forward.

I would not dignify this email with a response. She will hate that . . .

Discuss it with your line manager explaining what you did and why and then ask them to speak with the manager who is being critical and also ask them to deal with any further issues arising from the original matter.

Check out what your company’s ‘dignity in the workplace’ policy says and keep full notes of what has happened along with all emails . Keep records of any dealings you have with this Senior manager just in case you need to make a complaint about them one day.

I do have some learning points for the organisation as a whole based on this, things that aren't clear and need a consistent policy / procedure. I plan to raise that at some point on the back of this.

I had this op, and the brat cc”ed my manager in I assume hoping to both embarrass me and get me into trouble all at once. My manager rang me to say ignore and don’t worry and an email popped up that I was copied into from my manager to her telling her off for being such a bitch in a more mannerly and articulate way than i ever could! Agree with telling your manager , fuck that op you went above and beyond with no support!!!!

I know it’s tempting, but don’t speak about this to anyone other than your line manager. Not even your friend.

You run the risk of looking unprofessional. Remember the saying “When they go low, you go high.”

I remember once coming in to work to an incredibly sarky email from one colleague to another, copied to loads of us, basically insinuating that no. 2 colleague had made a fairly basic mistake and totally embarrassed himself. Except that he hadn't, it was no. 1 colleague who had made the basic mistake and was so eager to be a smartarse that he had broadcast his idiocy around the entire organisation. A number of us took great pleasure in ever-so-politely correcting him equally publicly, and he never tried that one on again.

unfortunately I’ve experienced similar from a senior woman in the organisation sending an email to a wide and very senior distribution list that was unfairly critical. She had a reputation for doing it and it just happened to be my turn to be in her cross hairs. Like you had pulled something out of the fire and she had a complaint about how it wouldn’t have happened if the person in charge (ie me) wasn’t so junior. Everyone knew it was someone in her group that had cocked up (by ignoring “junior” me) and I’d rescued it.

My boss read the email before I did as the first I knew about it was an instant message telling me in capital letters not to respond and she would deal with it. The bloody woman did it again when my boss left but the new boss also stepped in. I got the impression there was Stuff going on at levels above my pay grade and the best my line managers could do was shut her up but not get her to apologise. But like pp have said here, all the other people on the email knew exactly what was going on and it wasn’t me that was being judged negatively. I had quite a few supportive comments on the quiet.

Sorry to hear about the shitty email.
I do suspect that you might have the advantage because the other senior managers are copied into this reply. No senior manager worth their salt will allow for such a visible reprimand. This email is a reflection of the sender rather than you the recipient, and I hope it will be treated as such by the other parties copied in. Please do speak to your line manager - they are there to support you, and as difficult as it may be, please do not take this personally. The sender could be having a bad day. Wishing you the best of luck.

Never send aggressive, passive-aggressive or defensive emails even if provoked, it just makes you look bad. You have to be totally professional to keep the high ground.

As many pp have said, I would let my manager deal with it.

If I needed to deal with it myself I would probably say something just to her (cc my manager) along the lines of 'thanks for the feedback, in fact I think what I did was the right approach for x reasons, happy to discuss further if it would help, let me know.'

I’d be passive aggressive in my response but I’m retiring in June so have nothing much to lose! I particularly like the “correcting the spelling” one upthread.

Seriously. In your position I’d do nothing. Certainly don’t grovel, she’d bloody love that. Ignore, ignore, ignore. Everyone knows she’s a bellend. Rise above it.

This

I would just send a curt reply back, saying thanks for your feedback. Or even not reply at all. I've only recently learned the satisfaction of not spending more time and energy on replies that make me feel more wound up and they won't read or care about. You know what she is like, so do others. Talk to your manager about how future issues like this will be managed. It's a shame when a thanks can't be said but happens all the time.

How long did you work over your finish time?

Almost 3 hours

I could have probably done everything I needed to do to deal with the issue in half that time with more members of my team around however.

There is only one response that's both suitable and guaranteed to annoy this person.

Just hit "Reply All" and type "Noted."

LOVE this! I’d reply all too!

You might be reading too much into the email due to the stress the situation caused you at the time and over the weekend.
I would move on. Go to work and think nothing more about it.

OP
I hope it went well today

I'm looking forward to the update

As I said, seek clear producers re after-hours emergencies and processes for this - and also have phone numbers of urgent contacts

As I said we have several clowns where I worked and if and when I had to respond to these clowns, I'd BC my line manager (this was agreed upon between our manager and my line manager)

Also ask for justification from this clown that copied i 6 others, what was the reason? If they try to justify it, and tell you they were trying to educate staff - tell them learning is not via trying to put down someone who bent over backwards to sort it out when no one else was around

I used to get clowns nit-picking my assessments/reports and let it be known in team meetings that certain people were slagging ouff other staff behind their backs and if they have a real concern, speak with their manager. At the same time I started and reminded all but aimed at the two faced clowns - "files/reports/data only to be interrogated on a need-to-know basis." As I'd told our manger previously what I was going to say, it was agreed the manger would add to this what I told him, "any unwarranted access to files/info can be traced via IT footprints."

A few people have said she will come across as an arse to the other cc'd recipients.

She definitely will. I've been copied in, along with colleagues, on this sort of email a few times over the years, and every time colleagues and I have talked about it and agreed that the sender was being a massive dickhead.

One occasion, a department head (different to mine) had copied everyone into an email where she was obnoxious to one of her own team, and our own department head actually called her and told her very clearly, peer-to-peer, that he felt it was bullying to the person she had criticised and unfair to everyone copied in because we all felt deeply uncomfortable being made part of it.

And make sure that you reply via her email so that everyone is copied in. Include the comment that in future someone higher up the chain needs to be available at all times so you ( or whoever deals with situation) can run through their ideas and also point out, that your actions helped reduce the impact of this problem. Some people just have an over inflated sense of importance and love throwing their weigh around.

I think it is really important to push back whenever these things happen. I would do a reply to all saying that since it happened after normal hours and after you were officially off duty, you had to judge as best you could at the time, and that while you respectfully disagree with her about x point, you will discuss the whole situation with your manager when you have a chance, and will be sure to get their view on the point she has raised. Depending on how cheeky I was feeling, I would also make a statement to say something like - going forward, I am always open to a personal one to one discussion if there is constructive advice on how to do something and you are welcome to contact me directly in future.

100% take it to your own manager OP and dont stay over again unless someone actually shows you some appreciation for going the extra mile others ran away from.

Your time is as valuable as anyone else's and the fact you stayed over On a FRIDAY, the one day a week when most people rush to get out and go home is commendable OP - well done for trying to sort the difficulties on your own.

She sounds like a very familiar power tripping Mrs Trunchbull my friend works with who is more of a bully than a help. Her picking on a small part of how you dealt with it .. i'd go to work head held high OP and if anyone says anything about it, just say ok then well next time there's an issue i'll give your name as the person who can deal with it if you feel you could have done it better yourself. Flip your hair and carry on about your business

Sorry this happened OP, but you did the best you could so hold your head high for that

Wishing you the best

Oh good grief what a twattish move to reply all, i empathise as i have a very similar situation at work occasionally , funnily enough i was at work way past time on Friday dealing with an emergency situation, that arose early in the day and spent Saturday morning my day off micro managing the fall out over text and email! Do we work in the same office for the same people??!! Can’t offer any constructive advise but no yrnbu at all! Our dept I work in sort all the f ups in other departments and often after pulling our hair out trying to deal with complex issues for others that either can’t or don’t want to deal with it, they then offer constructive criticism I.e “why did you do that you should have done this, why did you /didn’t you do it this way?!“