To not want to go to work tomorrow due to shitty email?

[shittyemail]

I don't know if I'm overreacting here.

On Friday evening I worked past my hours to deal with what was a potentially challenging / contentious issue that had arisen that day. It caused me a lot of stress but no one else from my team was around to bounce anything off on Friday, so I dealt with it the best I could by myself. I then emailed the relevant colleagues on Friday evening who needed to know what had happened and how I'd dealt with it, so they'd be appraised of the situation.

I don't work Mondays but I logged in today just to see what I'm going into tomorrow. I'd had a reply from one of the senior members of the team (not my direct line manager but senior in the organisation) basically reprimanding me in what feels like a shitty way for one small aspect of how I dealt with the situation, ignoring the fact I worked past my hours to deal with the entire situation myself. She also hadn't commented on the issue itself really, she's just offered a criticism of one small aspect of how I dealt with it (which I also happen to disagree with her on). My main gripe is not that she disagrees with my approach as such, but that her reply was unnecessarily shitty and there was no thanks for dealing with the situation, and on top of that she "sent to all" instead of just me, so this now essentially feels like a public telling off via email as 5 other members of the team are copied in. I feel she could have more sensitively communicated her disagreement with the small aspect she has chosen to comment on, for example by just raising that part directly with me.

The upshot is I now feel anxious to go into work tomorrow because I am angry about the way she's handled it and don't particularly want to face her (she's not the most approachable person at the best of times), and also I just don't get paid enough to work past my hours on a Friday to give a shit about issues that might affect my team, to then receive basically no thanks and just criticism instead.

AIBU?

She'll have damaged her standing with the other colleagues more than anything about you. Actually this kind of thing can be quite bonding with your other colleagues sometimes.

I'd talk to my manager about it just to process how I was feeling and not reply to this woman. Definitely do go to work tomorrow though, in case you were serious. Things only feel harder if left to stew.

I don’t think I would even dignify it with a response. Unless she’s helping resolve the issue at hand, her comments are irrelevant.

If you absolutely have to reply, maybe you could just reply all asking if anyone else has any comments on the actual situation rather than some unhelpful feedback on your handling of the situation (that no one asked for)

“Ok, thanks for the feedback.

Does anyone have any suggestions/advice on how we move forward/close this topic?”

I have a boss a bit like that. He'll immediately jump to the negative and I know it's quite hard for people to deal with (it probably would be hard for me if I didn't just roll my eyes and ignore him). He has been told about it but isn't always that good at being more positive and not jumping straight to the negative. Like I said though, I just expect it and ignore it. I'm happy with my contribution to the team and my own performance. Every now and then, he actually has some useful feedback too. You just have to pretend he's spent 10 mins telling you how brilliant you are first. Or, at least, that's what I do!

Don’t reply to the email. Go into work tomorrow and schedule a chat with your line manager, pointing out exactly what you have outlined above.
She sounds like an arsehole and I bet the others included in the email exchange think she’s been totally unreasonable.
Don’t put yourself out again, unless your workplace responds accordingly.

Honestly I think she's made herself look a right tit and everyone who was copied in will be thinking that.

I'd just email back saying 'thanks for your feedback, in future I won't bother' yes it's immature but you put yourself out only for the tit to focus on one negative thing.

I'd struggle not to reply "Hi Janice, thanks for your kind and helpful feedback. I think you spelt thanks for staying late and picking up the pieces of our piss poor organisation, I am ever so grateful incorrectly. Yours - Never Working My Arse Off Like That Again.

Also, if you state you don't get paid enough to work extra, then please stop logging into your email on your day off.

Is there anything positive in the email? If so, focus on that and say, ‘Thank you, I’m so pleased to have been able to help, and yes, perhaps we all need a bit of extra training on procedures for xxx’.

😂 love this!

I kind of had the same, though the email was just to me. I emailed back saying it was 1 hour past the time I finish (we don't get overtime) and I was trying to get it done to leave the office as no one else able to do it and it needed doing. So will double check if I made the tiny, nonimportant error mentioned.

This is good advice.

Don't worry - senior manager has just shown up herself as a dick. Everyone probably knows that already too.

I did the catty reply thing once when a manager sent an email to us saying that the cleaner was angry because we were putting things that were too heavy in the bins (the wastepaper bins by our desks, that were at most used for an end of a sandwich, a tissue, or a run out biro). I asked if we should weigh items before putting them in bins and if so what the acceptable weight range was.

I got in trouble but I'd do it again 😂

See in my case I didn't even make an error as such - different people and managers in the team have different opinions on which way to do this particular thing she commented on. Neither is right or wrong really - it's just a preference. And that's what she pulled me up on. And my colleague who I rang today to talk (rant) to agreed she would have done things my way had it been her on Friday dealing with the situation I dealt with. So that was reassuring.

No good deed goes unpunished OP, I wouldn’t bother again if I were you. I’d be very clear about this and ask your manager for an out of hours escalation route as clearly it is inappropriate that you were left to deal with this alone outside of working hours. Fuckers.

Haha good point. My friend who I ranted to told me off for the same 😂

Don’t reply to her email. My previous 2 bosses were like the one you describe.. one was my direct manager and then above was the OM. A pair of cows, threw their weight around no end. I would be so intimidated and anxious.
I left the job 2 years ago and my new job and boss are glorious but something I’ve learned in my time working is that the people who don’t put all the effort in, and generally don’t give a fuck what others think of them, and are confident are the ones who get away with it and don’t get these shitty emails. Bully bosses tend to go for the people pleasers, the ones who like you stay on, the ones like me who would go the extra mile. I wouldn’t do it for any one any more, and luckily now I don’t have to.
Speak to your line manager, tell her you’re not happily and completely demoralised after that email where you put that effort it, and you won’t be doing it again.

I did consider doing this but didn't want to come across as an arse 😂

I will 100% be raising this with my line manager though, who is very supportive and approachable, so I'm sure she will help with addressing it.

I'd be tempted to email back to all saying "Was this email intended for everyone to read or just me?"

Erm... the "Hi" before my name is the only positive I can pull out 😬

Hi OP

Firstly, I feel for you
As importantly, please don't start flying emails off as once written/sent, cant be drawn and can get back up, no matter how right you are

Consult your line manager and hopefully they have more brain cells than that person who emailed you

What you need to cinsider

What you did, was it in your remit, if not, what is the recognised process/procedure? Are you an emergency service, I doubt it.

Assuming all of the above is good and what you did was in your remit/etc

Consider what outcome you want. You may want to rightly question why the jerk cc's the whole nation in it without talking to you/your manager/supv/etc

I'm sad to report that I worked ina vile/nasty environment for years but stayed there as it was local and flexible and gradually made like-minded friends and things came to a head. Thankfully, with the unions and equality behinds us, we got the senior moved. I suffered at times like you, made to feel as though I was walking on egg-shells - my work was being unnecessarily checked by those that had no reason etc - seniors were trying to push me around with others in our team - then i found out one day they were doing it to 2 other people - gradually we got to the right people to listen to us and built up a case againt the group of misfits

Be strong, you are entitled to your job as much as they are and like them you are part of a team. It is the managers job to listen, provide training/guidance and not allow the belittling of people and they email that was sent to several people need to be jusitifed.

NO - please dont' do as per my OP here - if you wish, good luck

Btw, some people are more sensitive than others - I'm sensitive but many are thick skinned as well as thick and IMO the cap fits on the person you OP are talking about

Here's what you do.
Open a word doc. Write a very passive aggressive reply.
Stare at it.
Delete it.
Don't reply.
Bring up that you felt demotivated with your manager in person tomorrow in a really professional and relaxed way.

My response would be

”I’m sorry this wasn’t done to your satisfaction, next time a problem arises out of hours, I will know to forward the problem/complaint to direct to you to deal with, just to check your Number is xxxxxxxxxx so all queries can go straight to you?
many thanks

Absolutely go in tomorrow, speak to your manager right away, show her the email and tell her how annoyed you are with the criticism, and the fact she sent it to everyone. Trust me all the other recipients won't be embarrassed for you, they'll just be thinking she's a massive dickhead for sending it.