Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think giving me one day a week actually isn’t ok?? Or AIBU?

504 replies

wpur · 29/01/2024 11:16

DH works away in the week and on Saturdays he has to do ‘admin.’ He is high up in the NHS and prior to having dd he did always work Saturdays in his office room in our house. I wouldn’t see him pretty much all day.

Since having dd he had to relocate for work, this was not his fault and he has taken the best job he can. It is not possible for him to come home in the week, it’s too far and would be pointless anyway as dd is long in bed before he gets back. No point me relocating with him as I have all my family nearby and his contact is only fixed for 9 months… then the search will begin again for another job.

He has started coming home late Saturday night (after dd is in bed) and then staying all day Sunday until she has gone to bed. He relocated for work when she was 6 months and she’s now 17 months. I am sick of doing everything alone. He has said I can take the entire day on a Sunday to myself, either go out alone or we all go out as a family, or he will do entertain her all day while I am in the house doing my own thing etc.

I feel like this is unacceptable and he should be back late Friday night to help on Saturdays too. He says it is pointless as he can’t avoid the Saturday admin work and he would just have to do it when back at home and it would take him longer to get through it. He thinks giving me a day to myself a week is sufficient in the circumstances. AIBU? I am so fed up and angry that I genuinely don’t know if I’m being unreasonable.

OP posts:
LameBorzoi · 02/02/2024 22:39

@Coopee He's likely doing clinical work and admin. It's easy for there to be way too much to get through in just what you have left of the evenings.

NorthernSturdyGirl · 11/03/2024 17:22

This sounds tough on you both and I am surprised he hasn't got a permanent contract as a consultant. To be honest it doesn't sound like much of a marriage unless you both agreed it was a means to an end and that the reality is proving harder than you thought.

Its a temp contract and you have a job with childcare responsibilities so you can't go with him, I get that. It seems he is being realistic about his lack of time with his child but if he relieves you of the load on a Sunday, when does that leave time for you and him? And when does he get a break.

Personally I think he needs to come home Friday, work from home Sat, making time for a night out with you Sat night, for some chill time and then do family activities together on Sunday, each taking the lead every alternative Sunday, allowing the other to lay in? Its far from ideal

EI12 · 31/08/2024 08:52

He is the main breadwinner, right? In that case the post is unbelievable. I work away and if I need to do stuff on the week-end, dh understands I need to do it. If my dh suggested I should do admin at night after slogging my guts out during daytime so I could free the week-ends to run around the family and doing family stuff, I don't think the relationship would have lasted. Thankfully my dh knows which way his and everyone else's bread is buttered and that I need the week-end to rest. The only thing I do at the week-end chore-wise is I wash my clothes in preparation for the next trip, that is it, or rather, my dh washes it as I just sit in the garden or on the sofa with dc and 'vegetate'. To suggest a person works 9 to 5, then travels to accommodation, then does admin into the night? Wow.

OhDearMuriel · 31/08/2024 08:58

Yabu
How would you feel if he was demoted and was on a much less salary?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page