To not want to be sat near loud cackling women

[Ferretmad2]

What is it with groups of loud, cackling women these days? Third time I’ve eaten out recently and next to a table full of shouty, cackling women who seem to be in a contest of who can cackle the loudest. Doesn’t seem to matter whether it’s a posh place or not. I’m fed up of having to be sat near them whilst waiting for my food. Can’t move as we are in a table of 7. My three autistic children are completely silent! Feel like following my eldest child’s example and getting noise cancelling AirPods.

When me and my friends get the rare opportunity to meet up for an actual outing (usually every 5 months or so) in between work, kids and general life you can bet your bottom dollar we would be the ones 'cackling'. We often have lots to catch up on, funny little stories to tell and it's nice to just let your hair down and laugh.

Of course we have all been on the receiving end of overly loud or obnoxious table neighbours at a restaurant or bar, but I just take it with a pinch of salt. The fact people having fun has bothered you to the point of writing about it is a little concerning.

I've never understood why people find people talking on the phone on trains annoying, but aren't annoyed by people talking if they're sat next to each other (where there's at least double the conversation you can hear). Is it because you want to hear both sides of the convo and can't?

To the OP: if you eat at places that don't serve alcohol, it's generally quieter. Another option is local pubs, which tend to be dead all the time these days except when sport is on (at least where I am they are).

I know exactly why you used the word cackle and it's apt. I have sometimes thought to myself that if the woman nearby knew how silly her laugh was, she wouldn't do it so freely. I mean, it's good she does and doesn't feel self-conscious, but I think some people have no idea.

Yes, it's annoying. I've never encountered a table of men behaving like that. Maybe they are other places I don't go to.

I choose to dine out on quiet nights rather than the busier nights, so don't have to deal with this kind of thing.

People tend to talk louder when they're on the phone. If they're just talking to the person sitting next to them, they don't have to raise their voice so much. You can hear a mile off whether someone's talking on the phone or to another person there. Or rather, you can hear it a mile off when they're on the phone!

Edit: maybe it's also the stop-start nature of it. When it's two people, it falls into a rhythm, a constant murmur back and forth that you can switch off from. When it's just one half, every time they start again it disturbs you.

@noooooooo Sorry, but that has made me genuinely laugh, OH HAHA

If you read the OP's posts, she is talking about competitive laughing, not friends sharing a joyful laugh.

The last two memorable ones for me were young women, one on a bus got on and proceeded to phone what sounded like a guy she didnt know that well (you could hear him clearly and his tone sounded to me like "What are you phoning me for" LOL) and just talk absolute shit very loud for about 20 minutes, to me that is "performance" phoning and means she is unable just to sit quietly for a while until her stop, worrying IMO. The other one was on a train from Birmingham where a girl talked loud on speaker to her BF (again just a load of shit to the casual listener) until just over the Scottish border where she then decided it was time to hang up and go to sleep, you could hear the collective sigh of relief from the other passengers. For balance another recent really annoying one on a train journey was a bunch of young guys from Liverpool watching a live football match on their phones, they started getting really loud and emotional (I thought one guy was going to shed tears at one point) over an "offside" decision, really really not fun if you want a relaxing train trip.

I had the TV on one morning while I was bitting and bobbing around the house...all of a sudden this wild cackling rent through the air..
It was Jeanette Manrarah on the Morning Show. My daughter has met her a few times and she really is a lovely person....but christ...what a laugh 😂

@AvengedQuince And how can anyone be the judge of whether a group of people you don't know are laughing competitively (can't say I have ever heard of that term) or just genuinely having fun. When a bunch of close friends that haven't seen each other in a while get together the mix of excitement and wine often results in a loud atmosphere.

You can catch up and let your hair down at someone`s house, the OP is talking about "performance" socialising at public places where it is obvious that people are just trying too hard to be noticed or to pretend that they are having a REALLY great time.

I cannot wait to try out competitive cackling in public.

Who?

Same. Bet I'd win.
I think there's a balance to be struck here. People can be overly loud.
But OP and the people she was out with all seem to be noise-sensitive, so they also need to pick lunch locations carefully.

Men or women, cackling, shouting or otherwise are really fucking annoying in public places.

If you are in a restaurant/public place you should maintain a reasonable level of noise and not disrupt other people.

The sound of laughter doesn't bother me. I like it. I'm not a loud talker at all, but I do laugh loudly. I always have done. I tend to laugh, not titter. I've past my loud laugh onto my DD (11) you can hear her across a busy room. She's got the sort of laugh that gets everyone laughing too, so the next generation of 'cackling women' is ready.

Can you help how you laugh?
Laughter is an expression of joy, happiness and excitement. How sad that you would judge someone's laugh.

Why not?

Why is it ok for some people/groups to be so loud it intrudes on others?

@CrashyTime 'You can catch up and let your hair down at someone`s house'

The whole point of going out is to get out of our own houses and have a change of scenery. I also don't believe anyone can be the judge of whether someone they don't know is 'performing'. I think it is an extremely weird notion actually.

YABU
With all the doom and gloom nowadays, hearing a tableful of people laughing would make me smile... and I struggle with noise myself.

Anyone going on about it wasn't like that in the old days, in the 70's and 80's we hardly (if ever!) went to cafes or restaurants. Pubs were mostly old men's pubs and the air was thick with cigarette smoke. The idea of, say, a Wetherspoons with everyone mixed in together, kids, couples, friends, drinkers, wouldn't have happened.

I don't mind quite loud, extreme noise is always hard to take, I also agree with whoever said that a lot of modern restaurants are just very noisy as they are all bare floors and white walls and nothing to absorb the noise. If I go in a restaurant and it's too noisy, I exit and go somewhere else if I'm not in the mood for it. I used to have to do that quite a lot when I went out with someone who couldn't hear well as we wouldn't be able to chat. Now I go to louder places and sometimes I'm even quite loud myself!

But you're describing personal/family spaces

Not public ones

Make sure it's not accidentally a 'joyful laugh'.

Could be tricky though as the main distinction is that it's other women that cackle, never the person themself laughing.

Some people have very odd laughs. The thought crosses my mind but I'm not really judging them because I know you can't help how you laugh. I think it's good they aren't self conscious about it. I just know I would be if I knew I sounded like that. My laugh is pretty quiet.

Disagree

What you're describing doesn't sound like a 'cackle' at all

You can tell genuine enthusiasm and laughter from the fake overloud nonsense quite easily IMO, unfortunately there is a lot of the fake stuff about at the moment, and anyway why should the whole establishment be taken over just because a bunch of friends have not seen each other in a while? If people want to really let rip and be obnoxiously loud they should book a private venue IMO. There would have been a time when restaurants would have asked or told people to keep it down, but not now because most of them are probably only a couple of months from going bust at any given time, they need all the custom they can get, annoyingly loud or otherwise.