To not want to be sat near loud cackling women

[Ferretmad2]

What is it with groups of loud, cackling women these days? Third time I’ve eaten out recently and next to a table full of shouty, cackling women who seem to be in a contest of who can cackle the loudest. Doesn’t seem to matter whether it’s a posh place or not. I’m fed up of having to be sat near them whilst waiting for my food. Can’t move as we are in a table of 7. My three autistic children are completely silent! Feel like following my eldest child’s example and getting noise cancelling AirPods.

With a side portion of hyena.

A poster defined cackling as 'laughing in a loud harsh way' in an attempt to argue that 'cackling' is not gender specific, and therefore not in any way misogynistic. I pointed out that it IS only used for women and associates women with witches (ie old and ugly).

Cackling isn't any more misogynistic than saying that only women have periods.

Cackling is high pitched, therefore men, who have deeper voices don't cackle.

It's the pitch that affects people rather than the decibels.

It's high pitched as well. An example of a loud, harsh laugh that is lower pitched is braying. It's mostly men that bray but it's not misandristic in my opinion to use that word, it's just a description of the noise, like a hen's cackle.

meh. Large groups of loud braying men are also A Thing. Do they bother you, OP?

You've clearly encountered my mother. I agree it is a cackle, not a laugh and honestly I've considered drowning myself in my soup during many meals growing up. My go to trick is to start a deep conversation with someone else at the table, that usually allows you to ignore it. Failing that, get drunk enough that you can't see the other people at the table, never mind hear them.

Cackling aside:

I go out semi-regularly with friends to either a local pub or a wine bar nearby. I have boringly noted large groups are just, in general, tough to sit next to if you're just a group of 3 or 4. They're all shouting to be heard by their entire party, and of course absolutely everything is the most hilarious thing ever said, especially after a few drinks.

However while the women's groups can be loud, by far the worst is the lycra men after their cycling evenings. They generally have a deep timbre to their voices so the random shouting really resonates, followed by the explosive HAHAHAHA wasn't that fucking hilarious from all 10 of them or whatever. It's always a last resort to sit near them.

Bizarre.

Periods are a fact, cackling, when used to describe women, is loaded. Like shrill.

My mother in law doesn’t actually laugh, she shouts AHAHAHA. Like she’s in a comic book, it’s fuckin deranged, people look round. So I’d take a cackle or a guffaw any day.

Loose Women is dreadful, but they know the type of audience they are aimed at, not sure if any of the panel would be like that in real life?

I know just what you mean and it's like nails down a blackboard - and incredibly inconsiderate of other patrons. Cackling is an annoying thing that some women do, just as men have their own ways of being loudly annoying. I have no idea why people think it's OK to be so loud indoors with other people nearby.

"I am silent for 90% of my life (live alone, work from home)"

As many people have been through the 70s, 80s 90s etc., apart from the WFH bit maybe, but the braying and cackling in public nowadays is noticeable by its prevalence and its volume, it is a generational/cultural/emotional shift IMO, nothing to do with how many people you talk to in a day. The other one that pisses me off is the speaker on when talking into a mobile on public transport so the whole bus/carriage can hear someones inane shit that they obviously think is very crucial for everyone to hear for an extended period LOL, that one IME is usually younger women and IMO it is coming from a place of much insecurity, go ahead and shoot me down but I know I am right on this one.

Most people don`t care if it is "OK", they are doing it because they crave attention, nothing more nothing less IMO.

The other one that pisses me off is the speaker on when talking into a mobile on public transport so the whole bus/carriage can hear someones inane shit that they obviously think is very crucial for everyone to hear for an extended period LOL, that one IME is usually younger women and IMO it is coming from a place of much insecurity, go ahead and shoot me down but I know I am right on this one.

Yes I can't stand this either... although I have seen men do this just as much as women.

My mother in law doesn’t actually laugh, she shouts AHAHAHA. Like she’s in a comic book, it’s fuckin deranged, people look round

Laughed out loud at this one

@crashytime I didn't give that as the reason I am loud when out (that I am silent most of the time), it's a reason I am not willing to moderate joyful interaction with people when in a social space. It should be celebrated that you enjoy the company of your friends.

I also don't think it's a cultural thing, I'm in my 50s and remember being at a hen night in my 20s and the next table asking us to keep it down.

There is a lot of ageism in this thread, a lot of the despicable cacklers are noted as people's mothers.

People don't generally know they have an annoying laugh. I'd say a good proportion of this thread who think they have a 'natural' laugh probably have an annoying one when overheard in a restaurant.

...And the speakerphone out loud, full agreement on that one, zero reason for it.

Cackling isn't any more misogynistic than saying that only women have periods.

I disagree. The word 'cackling' has connotations of being old and ugly (and of course female!) (due to its 'witch' association). Saying someone is 'laughing in a high pitched way', or however you want to define 'cackling' doesn't do that. The comparison to periods is ridiculous.

There is a lot of ageism in this thread, a lot of the despicable cacklers are noted as people's mothers.

Agreed. 'Cackling' is usually used in relation to older women.

It is more commonly older women who have that particular tone, though. I think it’s to do with how voices change as they age.

A bit like it tends to be teenage girls who have that ear-splitting screech, and a certain type of man who has that booming voice dominating everyone else.

Goodness me, what a lot of defensive rubbish on this thread, defending the 'cackelers'.

I was next to 2 tables of women the last time I was in the UK - I was having a lovely meal with my son and his fiance, then about 10 of these women appeared - and ...cackled! It's not mysogynistic, if a table of men appeared and cackled then I would have said the same.

Basically it was a group of people having 'fun' and making sure the rest of the restaurant know they were having fun.

We finished our meal quickly and left to enjoy the rest of the evening in a different bar. Our choice and the restaurant lost business. And I told them so later.

I don't want to spoil anyone's 'fun' but I want to enjoy my evening differently. And I did. I did suggest to the restaurant that they used a different room for large parties. It's their choice to do so or otherwise, and my choice not to spend time listening to cackling.

Poor OP

We're deciphering laughs and the meaning behind the use of the word 'cackling'.

She had a shit,loud lunch out with her 3 children.Sounds like a vent 🧐Isn't that the point of posting?

I’m so amused by the professionally offended here.
Cackling is a description of a specific noise or a sound. It would be hard for men with lower voices to make that noise. If you are linking it to witches or old women, perhaps you may have noticed it can also be linked to groups of younger girls and YOU are the one making the link. It is a specific sound. Add ‘crone’ or ‘witch’ to that and yes, you have yourself some actual misogyny there, but not when it is being used alone as a descriptive word.

OP, most people with a bit of common sense know exactly what you mean. I’ve even found myself in groups like this and have wanted to slowly slide off my chair and hide under the table.

If you are linking it to witches or old women, perhaps you may have noticed it can also be linked to groups of younger girls

Honestly, I've never heard anyone referring to a group of young girls as 'cackling'. And I work in a school full of teens. So no, I'm afraid I have not noticed that!

Why is being called a witch still deemed as being a horrible thing to be? I'm a witch, I don't cackle and I'm allergic to cats.