To think we should get the double room?

[Bibbidybobbidyroo]

We gave a family holiday booked this year - 2 adults in family 1 (my parents), two adults one child in family 2 (us).

My parents offered to pay for the cost of the accommodation as a kind gesture (they are financially better off). The accommodation has one master bedroom with a double bed, and three other twin bedrooms.

Our child has ASD and cosleeps as it’s the only way to guarantee any sort of sleep on what I fear is already going to be a trying week - first time abroad and a big routine change. I asked if we could the the double bed otherwise I’m going to end up squashed in a single with DD. They aren’t keen at ALL. Should probably mention my dad ends up falling asleep on the sofa and staying there all night anyway so my mum will mostly have the double bed to herself.

Im grateful that they paid for the villa but I feel like it’s coming with conditions that aren’t going to be very relaxing for us at all. I would have rather just paid our share and the felt like I could push for the bigger room more.

would you raise this again or just put up and shut up and accept the financial saving?

thank you for understanding! It’s already quite stressful worrying about the whole thing, it just seems like such an obvious gesture on their part to make sure everyone is comfortable

This! I've never slept in a double abroad. Most places just push two singles together.

Ohhh okay, so you're doing that thing where you pick arguments so you don't have to go away with them again because they hate you? I've done that with relatives before.

If OP’s child is anything like mine, she will be sleeping with her arms around a very fidgety and wriggly human. Pushing two singles together would be much more uncomfortable than having the double because she would constantly be in the crack/have to sleep entirely on one side of the bed anyway. It’s not the same as just sleeping side by side.

I am aware that I’m projecting here, but it’s really bugging me that hardly anyone on this thread can understand (or accept the OP’s explanation of) what her reality is like.

I’ve saved this post - thank you!

So make this the last one?

Your DH must be a saint putting up with in-laws like this!

So you’re all clearly able to push singles together? Your parents still more entitled for the double bed as they are paying

Just pay your way and call your shots. So much unnecessary drama!

There has to be a back story, such a non issue should cause no one stress. There is effectively three double bedrooms. Simply in two,of them the beds need to be shoved together,

the question is why are you trying to make up and issue, and have a fight over something non existent?

Thanks for getting it!

her sleep is probably already going to go to shit - just imagining the beds slipping, the gap widening, praying she doesn’t wake up with the movement because once she’s awake, that’s it. She’s awake.

Well no you just shove a king sheet over it, in many hotels they do this and you’d not even know it was two singles.

Perhaps one of them is neurodiverse too?

This is the bigger issue.

they want to pay so they can be the ones in charge.

i am confident that even if we now paid they would still want the master bedroom.

I think it's pretty obvious that you don't want to go on this holiday OP.

Just don't go, weather the storm.

I do get that it’s not about rooms but anyway as the original question was about rooms. We had the same problem child with additional needs was cosleeping for quite a while in a new places. I noticed that 2 singles pushed together is a better option size wise as the double is smaller then 2 singles together.

And you should wish them to have it, as there is no issue with the other rooms

why are you going away with them when you clearly dislike them so much?

Op please don't take this the wrong way but your making a rod for your own back whether your child has ASD or not, you really should be getting her in her own bed whether she gets up in the night or not. Your parents have been very kind to pay for a holiday for you, push the beds together, it's one week or two however long your going for. Then when you get back home start putting your child in her own bed otherwise you will end up with bigger problems in the long run.

This. I've been lucky to have in law's pay for holiday villas before and MIL gets the massive master bed on her own.

I wouldn’t go on holiday with a dad who slept in the living room and thought that meant we should stay out! ‘No, I need a place where I can sit up and read in the living room.’ In your situation, there is no way I would keep dd out of the living room. ‘Can’t you keep her out? No, but you can go to bed. She up because you booked a place with one double bed and you took it and you don’t even have two people sleeping in it! That means your granddaughter can’t sleep so you bloody well should have to be awake, I do. Great holiday.’

But it’s not a non issue. The OP knows sleep is going to be an issue and has explained that. She knows the easiest bed to sleep in with her DD will be the double. It’s really not hard to understand that kids with ASD might be dealing with problems that wouldn’t bother anyone else or even impinge on their consciousness. The gap in two singles would cause a sensory problem for my child, would wake them up if I needed to adjust it in the night and would just be another problem on top of the gazillion problems we deal with each day. An avoidable one.

You put a fitted king sheet over and you’d never know it was two beds and they won’t come apart. It is a non issue.

The options are

Don't go as it sounds like you are stressed about it and anticipate arguments once out there.

Threaten not to go so they will grudgingly give you the bed. This sounds like it will lead to more arguments.

Book separate accommodation

Go but push the singles together and make the best of it

Go but push the singles together and let DD disturb everyone so you coerce parents to swap rooms.

Start training DD to sleep on her own as this will have to happen at some point

Can't think of any other outcomes.

Edit - I'm guessing that your parents feel that DD really should be sleeping separately and this is their clumsy way of both expressing that and also 'encouraging' that to happen.

Would you not let your parents pick first anyway. 🙄

Rude, entitled and ungrateful are three words that spring to mind reading your posts.

This is ridiculous. You have a child with additional needs and yet you've agreed to go on holiday with your parents without having any input but presumably were happy for them to pay for.
There are enough beds for everyone but the setup clearly doesn't suit everyone's needs/habits.
Why on earth did you agree to this malarkey?!!! I feel sorry for your partner putting up with this crap and your child that has inadvertently been put into this situation too.
Bonkers.

You could push 3 single beds together and all get decent sleep.