To think we should get the double room?

[Bibbidybobbidyroo]

We gave a family holiday booked this year - 2 adults in family 1 (my parents), two adults one child in family 2 (us).

My parents offered to pay for the cost of the accommodation as a kind gesture (they are financially better off). The accommodation has one master bedroom with a double bed, and three other twin bedrooms.

Our child has ASD and cosleeps as it’s the only way to guarantee any sort of sleep on what I fear is already going to be a trying week - first time abroad and a big routine change. I asked if we could the the double bed otherwise I’m going to end up squashed in a single with DD. They aren’t keen at ALL. Should probably mention my dad ends up falling asleep on the sofa and staying there all night anyway so my mum will mostly have the double bed to herself.

Im grateful that they paid for the villa but I feel like it’s coming with conditions that aren’t going to be very relaxing for us at all. I would have rather just paid our share and the felt like I could push for the bigger room more.

would you raise this again or just put up and shut up and accept the financial saving?

The parents seem to have booked the villa for themselves without considering whether or not it works for Op & her family.

It doesn't - so surely you just don't go?

What an amazing piece of advice, NOT.
What is good for a child's development is feeling safe, and it is definitely not a place of some busybody mum of any chuld to give another one the sort of advice. ND kids all are different, which you may not realise, the fact yours did OK does not mean another will equally will do fine in the same situation.

OP didn't make it clear at time of booking that a double bed was mandatory for them, how is that the DPs fault?

Eh? She’s in her 50s but you said you’re in your 40s. Guess she was a v young mum. Or you’re slightly massaging the narrative here to suit your argument.

I think you are mega entitled actually. We holiday a lot with my parents, splitting costs 50-50, or we pay all, and one of my pleasures is making sure they have the master suite. It usually has the best view too. I love treating them, plus it will normally have an en suite which suits my dad well.

There is nothing to stop you at all pushing twin beds together. The fact that you are raising arguments against this suggests there’s a lot more going on here.

I’d be more concerned about how the “co-sleeping” is going to affect your marriage long term honestly. I totally appreciate that a decent sleep is worth its weight, but at what price?

People aren't reading between the lines. The parents are paying as a form of control, not generosity. If you read OPs reply to my post where I suggest her family hire their own nearby villa or apartment, she said her parents would kick off at that and accuse them of ruining the holiday.

I think poor OP has a difficult parent issue.

Also it would be hellish to sleep right in the middle join between two single beds pushed together. That child won't sleep.

I missed where Op had had input into the booking-my mistake.

The majority of people on this site are incapable of reading between the lines.

I though Inference & Deduction were part of the curriculum these days but it seems to be a waste of time.

Do you have an ND child?

"We’ve always let them have the master bedroom"

Well, isn't that magnanimous of you?

Pay for your own holiday for just the 3 of you - I'm sure your poor parents will have a better time without you, given that you seem to regard them as second-class citizens.

I was referring to the awful image.

Get roof bar straps move two singles together. Use straps under mattresses to hold bed together. Put two single mattresses together on top. Take two double fitted sheets to hold everything together. Job done and enjoy your FREE accommodation

Sorry if it's been mentioned - do your parents 'approve' of the co-sleeping? I have a similar situation and once had a family member try to book unsuitable accommodation because that would 'force' me and my child to 'stop being so ridiculous'. That accommodation was not booked. Nor was the holiday.

The child should be in her own bed and this is coming from someone who has a few children with needs. The longer the op sleeps with the child the harder the problem will get.

That's a good suggestion. If you are away for a week it would be worth doing. It might be easier to have the mattresses on the floor. We've done that with our kids when we've been staying at friends and families houses. Sharing A single bed with a kid would be unpleasant but 3 mattresses on the floor sounds fun!

Op then needs to say thanks but no thanks, if op can't push the beds together then perhaps put the mattress on the floor.

Ask again. You’re screwed if he does that. Or maybe accept it and just keep disturbing him, he is extremely unreasonable to want to sleep in the living room, so he and you mum are using 2 rooms, that’s ridiculous.

You don't have to sleep with your child because they are autistic I've not heard so much tosh in all my life! Your just causing more problems by trying to avoid problems!

But it’s not that easy, is it? In some cases it’s not possible at all, at least not for a long time. Nobody chooses to co-sleep in this way unless it’s the only option for either party to get any sleep.

I’m desperate to stop sleeping with my ND DC but I know better than to even try until we have made enough progress in other areas for it to become a viable project.

Wow you are one rude and difficult person. If you dislike them so much you shouldn't have went. And they do get the better rooms because they paid and yes they're older.

grab two ratchet/tie-down straps from b&q or similar. When you push the two singles together you can strap them around the ‘circumference’ of the two mattresses to stop them sliding apart. (If the beds aren’t divans but on some kind of frame then a belt/scarf around each of the inner legs can also help but doesn’t stop the mattresses from sliding apart.)

our family calls the un-joyous phenomenon of pushed-together single beds sliding apart all night the ‘Aare Gorge’ after staying in a hotel in switzerland where exactly this happened in a most unbearable and relentless way. We had visited the Aare Gorge that day. The name stuck.

good luck. Don’t let it ruin a nice (particularly a free) family holiday. Just arrive prepared.

Your put your child in their own bed and keep doing.it even if you have to do it a hundred times a night, yes it's difficult but worth it in the long run, by co sleeping your making more problems and avoiding the problem which will get more difficult the longer it goes on.

Is there enough space in the room to take the mattresses off and sleep on them on the floor? We did that for years so all 4 of us could sleep safely.

You're in your 40s and your mother her 50s, how does that work? Was she a child when she had you?

Wow you are one rude and difficult person.

Ironically, you've been far ruder and more unpleasant saying that than the OP has at all.

Sorry oh allmightly armchair expert, please tell us all parents of disable children how to do our jobs!
EDIT: you seem to say you have disabled children yoursel, presumably you are one of the few parents unsupportive parents in the community who seem to think just because you know something about something you know ALL autistic chilren and ALL their needs. Im waiting for your book where you show us how you singlehandedly help sold all our kids problems.