To ask If you have terrible neighbours how do you cope?

[Ulysees]

We live in a street with mainly rented houses. We own. They're good solid houses that people were keen to have years ago. Now they're rented out to mainly ok and decent people but some are dreadful.

I thought our new neighbour was ok. They've been there a few months now. They haven't done anything personally but the door is always being almost kicked in, windows broken. Yesterday we had gcs staying and as they were sitting watching a film next door and board (no window now) was being bashed and a man was threatening indoor guy and swearing. I actually phoned the police who came after. This isn't rare either.

We're not young and dh is a lot older. It's so stressful thinking about moving. We have been looking but would need to cash buy. We could sell ours too but obviously that won't be instant.

We're going to talk to the local councilor but doubt there's anything that can be done? Has anyone had success with this sort of thing? I pity anyone else going through it.

It was fantastic. Except needs stuff doing. They rejected first offer. We went to our Max and they want 3k more. So we'll have to keep looking.
It's a great area. Only a few houses. Bus stop outside.

@Ulysees tell the estate agent you are interested in that area, they can then send you details of any other listings. Saves the internet trawl.
At least you’ve pinpointed the area you want. We’ve managed to narrow it down to 5 viewing over the next two weeks in three different counties ….

@Alphabet1spaghetti2 there's only about 10 houses so doubtful there'll be another for sale anytime soon 😔

@Ulysees I would be tempted to stick a note through each door and say you are interested in buying should they consider selling - nothing ventured and all that.

Not quite at the same level but I used to live in a semi-detached 70's build, and the neighbour's 14 year old son used to drive me mad. They were genuinely lovely people, but because they had a side extension on their house where the couple slept, and the son's bedroom was adjoining ours, we could hear more noise than what they could!

He used to play loud music, be screaming at his playstation all night, running up the stairs, slamming doors, shouting at his mum. I couldn't relax in my lounge or bedroom without hearing him multiple times an evening. If we text them asking him to turn it down, it would get done but then carry on the next evening and how many times can you text the same request? It got embarrassing in the end.

I moved 30 minutes further away from work to afford a detached house and it's without doubt THE best decision I've ever made. No neighbour noise whatsoever or even any passing traffic and my MH is great for it. It's utter bliss tbh.

Wish there was a way for all these hideous people to all live together away from decent society.

We had terrible neighbours in london it was like living next door to Jeremy Kyle rejects. I was on mat leave we didn’t really notice it until then. Drug dealing/ thuggish types hanging around outside/ out of control aggressive dogs / fights in the street/ weed smoking in the garden and the ever present gangsta rap. So sad as so many lovely people lived in the Victorian row of terraced flats never heard a peep out of anyone else - they disrupted so many people. We were going to move out of London anyway but they expedited that. So appreciate our heavenly neighbours now (quiet thoughtful retired doctors).

Yes good idea. One is really old so might fancy a bungalow soon 😉 The renters knew all the neighbours.

@TheaBrandt a few years ago we actually had a regular from Jeremy Kyle living in our street. I didn't know who she was but people told me. I did see and hear her 🤬 Apparently she was always on the show?

I live in an area where lots of people have been on Jeremy Kyle! Almost every street is like @TheaBrandt described.

We used to live next door to a late evening DIYer who disturbed the neighbours on the other side of us who thought we were making the noise and punished us for it (probably mentioned it on MN before) with loud parties every weekend going on to early in the morning. There was much more to it than that but suffice to say both DH and I still have flashbacks and chest pains whenever we hear loud music.
We moved.

A detached house or bungalow sounds like heaven but as we are on disabilty benefits it will never happen.

I’m in a semi detached house and from when we moved in in 2013 until 2021 we lived next to VERY anti social neighbours. Without disclosing too much revealing information, 4 adults next door, children involved. Music blaring all hours, their weed stank up our house, no one worked, mess outside of the house, burning plastic in summer - a whole tick list of everything you would dread! We even got the police involved.

Me and my fiancé would both often wake up shattered for work in the morning, and they’d be enjoying a long lie in!

Eventually they had a big falling out and a fight, half the house left, the other half stayed.

I made the effort for the sake of my mental health (which was destroyed) to be nice, and we then got on well with them (wouldn’t say friends, but on good civil terms).

Eventually the man attacked the woman, and they all left. The house was empty and boarded up for almost a year and the relief I felt was nothing short of a miracle!

When the council started clearing out and working on the house for their next tenants over the coming 10 months, my nerves were absolutely shredded. I’d start crying when the workmen arrived.

I always dreamt of selling our home and moving into a detached house with no one around for miles!

Thankfully we have the loveliest neighbours going. Children the same age as my daughter, they get on, always take in our parcels, I’ve even been round theirs for a cup of tea. A chalk and cheese experience!

How sad that this is such a common experience.

Been a bit of a rollercoaster but looks like we might be getting the house we love. Check out my replies on this thread.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/property/4998229-looking-to-buy-this-house-but-has-sitting-tenants?page=2

I had a big row with my next door neighbour which led to a horrible year of dreading coming home, dreading having guests, verbal abuse shouted at me, not going in garden, think they possibly caused damage to our property so was awful but then unbelievably it all came to a bit of a head one day and I was able to sit down and make the peace- basically had to act a bit like a parent to a toddler having a tantrum and everything's been fine since.
I felt so trapped at the time as wanted to move and was speaking to house buying companies as I don't get how you sell when you've got an awful neighbour? Legally you can get in trouble if you don't declare ? Annoyingly the people we bought off sold due to a dispute with same neighbour and never told us till later and I could have got them into trouble for it (said neighbour told us so I imagine would have done the same had we moved)

@LethargeMarg that's disgusting them not telling you 🤬 I'm sure you could have sued them?

All looking a lot better now. I've been posting on property and was warned off the house. But we're definitely only signing when it's vacant. I'll post back on here once it's all sorted.

Fingers crossed it goes smoothly!

Thanks 😊

One side is ok the other side look down their noses at us and don't speak unless they want something. But they could be worse at lot worse

@InkySplott oh for just that problem 😉

Looks like we'll soon have decent neighbours 🤞

I’m desperate to move because I hate my neighbours and I have become obsessed with every little thing they do as I worry it will impact us in some way (eg having dangerously big fires in the garden). I’m worried that I won’t get my house sold before the summer as then I’ll have to put up with the worst behaviour for months. No one will buy this house in the summer as they will hear the neighbours and be put off. The previous owners tried to sell for 4 years until us mugs came along. When I eventually do sell, I am going to knock on the neighbours doors to introduce myself with any property I like and want to buy. Will they think I’m weird if I say I’m checking to see if the house has nightmare neighbours before I make an offer?? 😆

@Sleepysleepycoffeecoffee don't they have say if they've had problems with neighbours?
Hope you sell quickly?
We still haven't moved. Should be very soon. All the idiots have left our street and we have lovely neighbours now. But it can change so quickly as all or at least 90% are rented and they put anyone in.

You do have to declare any formal concerns with neighbors but most people don't have formal concerns and just sell up. Going around at different times of the day, asking locals what the area is like and knocking on doors is really good. I'd just say that you were checking the area because you are very quiet and need to live somewhere quiet.

I haunted this area and had a friend who lived close by so I knew it was quiet. I am soothed by sitting in my home again.

AddictedToBooks · 29/01/2024 17:09

Got a disabled space outside my house as my mobility is really bad and will be worsening yet when the council painters came to paint it in, the neighbours from opposite (who NEVER speak to me and know nothing about my life) came rushing out and were demanding the painters stop.

Fuck
Ing
Hell!!

I can only hope that he crashes his car.

We should be in our new home by Christmas? It'll be weird being in a street without the smell of skunk when you're out the back. And not wondering which ex con is going to be your next neighbour.
We're moving to a quiet avenue. Only homeowners or visitors Cars go down. No cars out front. Bliss. And we'll have a garden.

Not overnight.....but gradually over the last 20 odd years in my experience.

@bluewanda - it didn't happen so much years ago. We all still lived our lives but we had respect. Even when I was a student we were quiet at night at home because other people didn't want to hear the noise.

I always lived in terraced houses and we never heard our neighbors.

I've been through two nightmares with neighbors and the last lot were the worse.

We sold up (at a loss) and moved. Nobody should have to live like that.