To ask If you have terrible neighbours how do you cope?

[Ulysees]

We live in a street with mainly rented houses. We own. They're good solid houses that people were keen to have years ago. Now they're rented out to mainly ok and decent people but some are dreadful.

I thought our new neighbour was ok. They've been there a few months now. They haven't done anything personally but the door is always being almost kicked in, windows broken. Yesterday we had gcs staying and as they were sitting watching a film next door and board (no window now) was being bashed and a man was threatening indoor guy and swearing. I actually phoned the police who came after. This isn't rare either.

We're not young and dh is a lot older. It's so stressful thinking about moving. We have been looking but would need to cash buy. We could sell ours too but obviously that won't be instant.

We're going to talk to the local councilor but doubt there's anything that can be done? Has anyone had success with this sort of thing? I pity anyone else going through it.

I asked the local councillor on our street WhatsApp group for the housing officer's number, and called and texted him every time.
Others on the street then spoke up about it too. They were gone within a month.

That's good. This is a private landlord.

My family had no choice but to move. I seem to be the person that these families gravitate too. I've had no luck with neighbours. First I lived in a flat, and my upstairs neighbour would spend most nights arguing with her boyfriend. We went through all the procedures with the local council, got councillors involved etc. In the end I managed to get a home swap.
The new house we moved into was everything we needed as a family. But a couple of months of living there. The landlord sold up, and someone else brought the house next door. It was then let out as a student house. I have no idea how I spent 9 years living there. But I can definitely say it had a massive impact on my mental and physical health. Trying to raise 3 small children, one with additional needs. Then being pregnant whilst looking after 3 small kids, I still don't know how I done it. The students partying nearly every weekend, noise in the early of the hours. Waking up my kids when they got back from partying/clubbing. Again I went through all the official channels. As like last time I managed to move house.
Now I'm in my current house, and although my neighbours are not ideal. They are the best of a bad bunch. They're more scruffy than anything else.
You will find most official procedures take a long time, and you rarely see anything successful come out of them. Disruptive neighbours are unfortunately selfish, and don't think about the impact on others. You're most likely in for a long battle. If you can move, I would. I know it doesn't guarantee your next neighbours will be perfect. But after my experience of staying next to nightmare neighbours, I regret the impact it had on my health (both mentally and physically).

Try a land registry search in that case? I knew mine was emergency housing from another Borough, so the Councillor was the way to go, but had it been private I would have gone down the land registry route, I think it's only a few pounds for a search. But try the councillor anyway
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I think ours regrets joining the WhatsApp group!!

My last house I lived next year to a single guy who was very quiet. I was so lucky. He sold the house and it was bought by a landlord who rented it out to a couple and 8 kids. It was only a small 4 bedroom terrace.

they were nice but loud. Too many people in the house. The dad shouted at the kids lots. Kids had friends round in the garden. Dad always trying to fix his car. Rubbish overflowing. Kids running about.

it was a nightmare. I always had my tv on. I did speak to them and they admitted they were evicted cause of noise in last house . They apologised and had an argument on who was making the most noise.

I was playing to sell so didn’t want to complain too much.

@murasaki thanks I'll try that.

@ChrisMcCleanInvincibilityStatue that's dreadful I'm so sorry you went through that. I hope you totally heal one day 🙏

The only solution is to move. Terrible neighbours never come to realise that they’re behaving badly and change.

we’ve had it twice - one playing drum & bass music at full volume all day and night, and one psychopath who was hell bent on making life miserable for us ( and did so successfully).

@murasaki thanks again I've just got the details of the letting agent. Even got his name and d.o.b 🤣

Ours built a bar during lockdown in their front garden right opposite our house. So weekends now consist of them watching sport out in it, drinking and loud shouting/guffawing/music until all hours. And if that wasn't joy enough, they've got some sort of giant bulldog with a bark like a hound from hell. Most days I fantasise about how to kill them all and get away with it. I haven't made any official complaints about the noise as we're looking to move in the next few years but need to stay in the area due to our children/grandchildren. I have no words for how much I hate them - it's a quiet rural hamlet and we're on a group of 6 houses. Don't even hear a peep from the others.

Great, use your newfound knowledge! After the first time, if it happens again, I'm primed and ready with mine. It's the initial move that's both logistically and conceptually challenging, but you're talk health comes first.

Mental health comes first, too late to edit...

DPs neighbours trashed the house and garden. Noise 24/7, fires in the garden, swearing, very antisocial.

Police, council, owner, MPs did nothing to help despite many meetings, letters, calls etc. This went on for years. DM was almost suicidal. The rats were the final straw.

DPs sold cheaply at auction and moved away. Best thing they did.

Yes I'm not that hopeful. Our local councilor is usually good but probably gets complaints like this all the time.

The letting agent's contact details aren't available 🤔 I'll probably have to go to the building it's in?

I'll keep searching for a house in our budget.

We had a downstairs neighbour who I am pretty sure was a psychopath. He and his wife made our lives hell. Initially we tried to get on with them, find solutions to the disputes they created, and when that didn't work we got a ring doorbell and blocked their email and phone numbers. Stayed out a lot. Spent a fortune in legal fees. Police involved twice. It affected my physical and mental health, DH too.

In the end we moved. I wished we'd gone sooner but I loved the flat and hoped we'd find a way to get along. But they continually wanted to pick a fight about something, anything. They even did everything they could to disrupt our sale (despite apparently hating us) and in the end it took a year to get out.

It took over a year after that for me to stop feeling panicky when I heard a door slam or someone knock on the door (and longer to stop feeling guilty about the people we sold the flat to).

These days I occasionally remember them and can laugh about how batshit they were.

Oh and we moved a long way away to somewhere when I can only just see my nearest neighbour 100m down the road.

Do you know the letting agent's company name? If so, they'll have a website with contact details. Good luck.

That's the weird thing they don't?

The guy is affiliated with another company so I'll see if they have?

We moved.

We went to one of those "free legal advice for 15 minutes" things, and the lawyer said, "Move." He was right. All the other, nice neighbours struggled with them too, but just one bad lot made everyone's lives difficult.

We put up with it for some time, hoping the obnoxious neighbours would move and we wouldn't have to, but instead we got a second lot of obnoxious neighbours moving in at the other side, and that decided us.

It took me over a year to settle and not be freaked out by every sound from the street or neighbour once we moved.

I’m 6 years on, now in a detached house, and I still tense when I hear loud voices outside or a car with loud music passing.
We also need to move/downsize due to health & all we can find are semi’s. I get in a panic just thinking about the prospect after the hell I went through.

We just completely blank them. They blank us too. They hate us though, been here just over a year and they complain about everything to us it’s so petty so now we ignore them.

We plan to move next year though cuz they’ve really tainted our whole experience of living here.

Second company has no contact details either 🤔

It's shocking how many of these horrors there are out there.

That's odd. You could check Company's House I guess for him and the affiliation? It sounds a bit weird. Best of luck though, I know how it frazzles your metal health, I was hanging on by a thread at one point. No sleep, scared to leave the house in case they saw me, it wasn't good.

Sorry op no advice as we eventually moved it was that bad (parties, drugs etc) Felt a bit shit for the new owners and still wonder if they had it as bad as us 10 years later.

Were you our neighbours in Barnet?! Our upstairs neighbours forced out the next door people, we used to hide in our hallway so we could have secret strategy meetings! It was hell for a year. The next door neighbours moved, they were the attached semi, so no escape from the idiots and their music or the bloke throwing his girlfriend round the place.

We called the cops, environmental health etc. We sold up, I was gutted. It helped us buy a house, then a much better house, so kind of good long term, but it was horrific at the time. We spent a fortune staying out as much as possible. 🤬

I would approach your local councillor though, if nothing else it gets an issue raised. It's their job given council tax, to at least listen. As said, mine are actually really nice, and we have the occasional meeting with them as a group of two streets, where they've put action plans in place, engaging is better than not.

I live in a poor area where more and more houses are turning into flats/HMOs owned by slum landlords. One bought a house near me last spring, promptly chopped down a beautiful miniature cherry tree in the front garden and did a ton of dodgy looking building works. It’s now occupied by a revolving door of tenants who sit out front smoking weed, doing drug deals and leaving litter strewn across the front garden. Oddly I can’t find any record of who owns it as there’s nothing on Land Registry.