To ask If you have terrible neighbours how do you cope?

[Ulysees]

We live in a street with mainly rented houses. We own. They're good solid houses that people were keen to have years ago. Now they're rented out to mainly ok and decent people but some are dreadful.

I thought our new neighbour was ok. They've been there a few months now. They haven't done anything personally but the door is always being almost kicked in, windows broken. Yesterday we had gcs staying and as they were sitting watching a film next door and board (no window now) was being bashed and a man was threatening indoor guy and swearing. I actually phoned the police who came after. This isn't rare either.

We're not young and dh is a lot older. It's so stressful thinking about moving. We have been looking but would need to cash buy. We could sell ours too but obviously that won't be instant.

We're going to talk to the local councilor but doubt there's anything that can be done? Has anyone had success with this sort of thing? I pity anyone else going through it.

@Ulysees we are going the bungalow route. We get they are probably
going to be moaney, but a) look after their properties better possibly due to having more time if not money, b) they seem to look after their neighbours more - that so called net twitching keeps areas safe, and older people can be more tenacious(?) about getting police out etc. I thought crime would be higher due to vulnerability, but in all the areas we are looking it’s in fact lower and much more nuisance/ spur of the moment type crime rather than planned burglaries and muggings.
Finally they get the adage that good fences make good neighbours. The balance between being neighbours but not in each others faces 24/7 seems to be so much better.

signing him up for lots of erectile dysfunction adverts improved my mood and now when ever I’m asked for my address for spam advertising I use his -petty yes, childish absolutely, immature undoubtedly- fun and strangely satisfying totally

@Poppysmom22 our idiot neighbour has managed to give me his email address. As you say petty but satisfying.

Have fun 😁

About 15 years ago .. when I was still with x h , we sold our house but our onward sale collapsed so we had to move into rented (unbeknown to me it was in xh’s favour as he was having an affair and planning to move in with her ) but that’s another story ..
it was a lovely house in a quiet cul de sac , rented through an estate agent and the house next door was the same . Very peaceful , next door were a quiet couple .. until they split up and moved out .
then a new couple moved in .. they seemed quiet at first , ran their own business , but seemed to keep odd hours , often being awake all night and sleeping all day ! It started to grate as they Would put music on at night and have the tv on full blast .
DD was a baby and I was sleep deprived as it was.. things started to ramp up with all night music , every bloody night .. it was unbearable .. then the parties started .. all weekend the house would be rammed with people and the parties would start Friday evening and end Sunday night .
We complained to the letting agent with no success until one night they had the party to end all parties .. it was still going on at 2am and utterly exhausted xh went round to politely ask them to turn it down and was punched in the face !
I called the police and that party was wrapped up as well as the tenant being charged with assault ..
However the next night to clearly make a point to us .. the music went on at 8 pm .. and the same song Ring of Fire by Johnny cash was played at full volume on repeat until 8 am .. the kids were exhausted .. we were exhausted and called the letting agent and also told them of the assault .. they were promptly served notice and went of their own volition a couple of weeks later ….
I still can’t hear that song without my blood running cold

Christ! @Rockschooldropout That sounds awful.

Sympathy to everyone else too. It really does have a lasting impact. I'm looking to move again at the moment and the neighbours will be one of the most important factors. I'd prefer detached I think if possible.

We moved. It was the only way. I feel I can breathe now, fully relax. It’s so oppressive when you are not able to relax in your own home. You feel like you are suffocating.

@Alphabet1spaghetti2 we were going to view a bungalow but have spotted a fab house with utility room, extra bedroom and garage. It's in a nice area overlooking the sea. Ups our budget a bit but we're so excited to be viewing tomorrow. Mil is helping us she's so keen for us to move. We're no chain cash buyers so hopeful 🙏🤞

@Ulysees my fingers, toes and legs are all crossed for you! We are viewing another two Friday. One is large but need some work and the other is show home perfect, but we think the rooms maybe too small. I think I may wanting that bungalow but on the other bungalows plot! We should also be no chain, no survey, cash buyers. Depending on what vendors will accept.
I am genuinely excited to get up in the morning now it feels like we may have found our end goal.

@Backhander that’s the feeling exactly. Oddly I find it hard to retaliate and stand up for myself, and yet I have absolutely no problem going all guns blazing for anyone else who needs help and support. It’s a bizarre situation.

@BasmaDa who's that aimed at? If me we are looking elsewhere. Tomorrow morning.

Blimey @Rockschooldropout they sound batshit. So glad you don't have that to deal with now.

After escaping DV which my ex partner put me in hospital, my young son and myself moved to the other end of the country. The next door old couple neighbours are horrendous 😕 they complain when my son plays quietly outside in our own garden (no noisy ball games etc, just playing with cars/dinosaurs figures)as him being there in the garden makes there dog bark! They complain that our online shop delivery (10.00 sunday morning) is too early (I work all week).the bad rain we have had lately is running into there garden and they wanted me to go out in the middle of a storm and brush the rain water back into my garden! I dont live on a hill or anything where the water can flood there garden, just a normal semi detached house. I got a ring doorbell camera because they kept ringing my door late at night over nothing! ( for example My bins were out too early in the morning of collection day( 8.00am as thats when I go to work..bring them in 5.00pm when get back from work)..they have said I am spying on them with the ring doorbell that covers my property only. Its bird watch week and my son and I put up a small bird table and put some seeds/nuts on it..they came round to complain as the birds are setting there dog off barking! Its a ficking nightmare. I am keeping a written log as well as the ring doorbell tapes and I am going to complain about them...its a nightmare living next door to awful neighbours!

I think that anybody can suffer from having an awful neighbour, renter or owner. In my rented flat the nightmare neighbours owned the penthouse upstairs, they were awful.

Now where I rent it's lovely and a mixture of rentals and owned houses. My neighbour on one side rents the other owns and they are both lovely (terraced and I'm in the middle).

The worst house on the street is one that is owned by the people who live there. One of the post detached ones, parties outside every weekend, people being sick in the street.

It's not renters that are the issue, it's just scummy people. Yes this house doesn't belong to me (unfortunately) but I care for it like it does and have consideration for my neighbours.

@Bewilderedallthetine they're nuts!! Do they own it? I'm so sad for you and ds 😔

@Beryls I know that as has been evidenced on this thread. Just where I live scum landlords are renting to anyone. And prisons advertise living in our streets. Anyway we'll be off ASAP.

You poor woman. I had so many bad neighbours over the years and it was just awful and caused me to become insomniac. One set of neighbours in a nice area were dealing drugs, people coming and going, making noise all night, it was hell, always been raided by police. Dog constantly barking non stop. So happy in new place as neighbours all considerate and makes such a difference to be able to relax in new home.
Contact owner of house and let them deal with it and the counsellor as you said. Hope things improve as causes such stress and anxiety living beside yobs who do not give a damn about anyone but themselves and have no pride or shame.

@Bewilderedallthetine I'm so sorry that you still haven't found your happy place. My neighbours are similar (about noise) and it is just as stressful as having noisy neighbours. I worry about every little noise they make and I can't imagine being able to let them use their paddling pool or have friends over to stay without being so anxious it wouldn't be worth it. When I rented my house out last summer, he shouted in the lady's face and called her a c* and all sorts of repulsive things.

Do landlords need to register with the local authority where you are? They do in Scotland. I think other places are talking about it. Agitate for that please everyone.
Also, hate crime laws - if the victim feels a hate incident has occurred then in has. You do not need to be a proven member of a group to be a victim of hate crime. So, if you are wearing what could be perceived as a hijab and nasty fascist neighbours shout islamophobic abuse (and you get it on camera/recorded) then it's a hate incident. Likewise two same sex people acting romantically and getting homophobic abuse is a hate incident - even if they are really as heterosexual as pie.
Get CCTV. Some have sound recording ability.....

When my friend sold one of her houses her buyers canvassed the neighbors for noise which I should have done with my house from hell. If I had done so I would have found out about them! The neighbors the other side of the cokehead moved not long after we did.

Also lurk at different times to see if it gets noisy.

Recovery from horrible neighbors makes you hyper vigilant and less trusting. I always assumed that we all have to live together on this small island so we are all considerate. But I'm convinced that from top down we are encouraged to only think of ourselves.

Having said that it's not normal. Most people just get on with their own lives and don't victimise others.

Our bungalow neighbors are so quiet. I think their expectation is that everything is really neat which I get and ours will be when it's finished. But I'll take anything for quiet.

We moved. Sorry probably not what you wanted to hear.

I couldn't sit out in our garden before because of the noise of them constantly in their back yard shouting and swearing.

It's lovely now I can sit outside.

In a previous flat a druggie moved in below, I called the landlord not quite knowing what he'd do, he sent some heavies round who tipped the guy out with all his stuff.

I moved from there too.

Viewed the house today and it's great. Needs about 15K spending on it so we've put a cheeky offer in. If they don't take it then best of luck to them. The tenants who are leaving showed us around and we're very honest. They want it sold too as means they can go up the social housing ladder.
It has a garden and garage. Decent sized rooms. All the neighbours are great apparently.
Hope they accept. We're cash no chain.

Were very honest*

Fingers crossed OP that sounds positive

Sounds good. I'd still drive round at different times of day/night to get a feel for the area.