To ask If you have terrible neighbours how do you cope?

[Ulysees]

We live in a street with mainly rented houses. We own. They're good solid houses that people were keen to have years ago. Now they're rented out to mainly ok and decent people but some are dreadful.

I thought our new neighbour was ok. They've been there a few months now. They haven't done anything personally but the door is always being almost kicked in, windows broken. Yesterday we had gcs staying and as they were sitting watching a film next door and board (no window now) was being bashed and a man was threatening indoor guy and swearing. I actually phoned the police who came after. This isn't rare either.

We're not young and dh is a lot older. It's so stressful thinking about moving. We have been looking but would need to cash buy. We could sell ours too but obviously that won't be instant.

We're going to talk to the local councilor but doubt there's anything that can be done? Has anyone had success with this sort of thing? I pity anyone else going through it.

When everyone says 'we moved' how?!

We had ours on the market for eight months, three serious, motivated buyers and that fucker made all of them pull out.
Estate agent would come, he'd lean out the window, shout at them, smoke weed so strong you couldn't even stand in the garden.
No one was going to buy our house. No one.
My relationship broke down, he couldn't take the anxiety of what might happen. He was sick of being threatened.
The council don't care. Apparently he's only had five complaints this year and it needs to be seven to get escalated.
My only solution is to go out as much as possible.
I don't use my garden at all. I never feel at ease in my house.
Not sure what else I can do.
It's not so much the amount of stuff but the intensity when it does kick off.

I sympathise with everyone in this thread! It takes a huge toll on your mental health, while you kid yourself you can ignore it you can’t and to feel unsettled in your own home is a horrible feeling. I am forever looking at detached properties on moving apps! People are just unbelievably entitled in their behaviours these days.

@Edsspecialsauce I'm genuinely so sorry to hear that. You must feel murderous towards him. Is his owned by him?

@Edsspecialsauce have you thought of auction? Just get rid and move somewhere cheaper?

@Ulysees if we sold at auction we'd only get two thirds of what we paid and I wouldn't be able to get anything in the area, even a two bed flat. Weighing it up, my kids love their school and friends and it would be even more detrimental to their wellbeing move them. I'd rather just suck it up.

@Edsspecialsauce yes I can understand that. Let's hope he moves asap 🤞🙏

My situation was years ago so things might have changed. We had a house next door that was rented out and about 9 or 10 guys moved in to a three bedroomed house. They moved the furniture from the front room into the garden and you could see the mattresses they had laid out in the front room instead.

They never shut up, and I mean never, they were as loud at 3am as they were at 3pm. I asked them to be quiet but was just ignored or they told me they don't speak English etc (I know they did cause they were so loud I heard them!) It got to the stage where I understood why some people have killed their neighbours over noise.

I just kept calling the Council and reported them to the Environmental Department. They eventually sent some guys out at 1:30am on a night they were having a particularly riotous party. The Council guy said they'd send the landlord a letter saying that if they made noise like that again, the landlord would be find £2,000. They were gone within the week.

Sympathies to so many of you on this thread

Got a viewing for Wednesday 🤞

Not in the same vein as your neighbours but my neighbours opposite are so vile, we're considering moving but then I feel like they've won .......
I've recently been forced out of my 20 year job due to a disability getting worse (I have degenerative arthritis of my neck and spine and already every disc in my entire neck is dehydrated and I have bone spurs, indentations and nerves poking through my spine on each side of my neck) and also other underlying illnesses such as lace-like bone marrow and recurrent anaemia needing hospital admission and both blood transfusions and iron infusions to keep me alive - basically been through utter hell this past year.
Got a disabled space outside my house as my mobility is really bad and will be worsening yet when the council painters came to paint it in, the neighbours from opposite (who NEVER speak to me and know nothing about my life) came rushing out and were demanding the painters stop.

A few days later, my husband politely asked why they had tried to stop the disabled bay (which doesn't affect their house or parking at all) and they turned round and basically told my husband that they don't believe I'm disabled at all because I'm not dead yet (they've heard from neighbours we're friendly with, that I've been admitted to hospital repeatedly over the past year for life-saving treatment and they've seen me being taken by ambulance twice in the past year).

Luckily I've had some amazing mental health counselling which has really helped me deal with it as I can't even bear to look at them right now and we've put up a blind and I keep it angled so that I don't have to look at their house.
Came face to face with one of them yesterday and I simply looked through him and acted as though he wasn't there - it made me feel awkward but I got some relief from seeing that he also felt awkward.

Sold up at less than market value to get shut of it to one of those house buying companies because I couldn’t face the guilt of looking people in the face knowing they would ask what the neighbours were like and having to lie. or just say well if racist misogynistic sexist rap is your thing you have found your people. Also don’t expect to park or even have unfettered access to your own property because twatface thinks he owns the whole bloody village

Yeah I’m still not over it.

@Poppysmom22 I'm not sure you ever get over it. These people cost us in multiple ways that can have far reaching consequences. Yet they always seem to not only get away with it, but they land on their bloody feet! I think we learn to compartmentalise it.

It’s not the money it’s the fact that I bloody loved that house and those gits ruined that feeling for me and just made me scared and nervous and worried all the time about what shit they were going to do next. We didn’t lose money but we didn’t make as much as we ought to have either but it’s worth it to spend summer sat in the garden and not listen to the bile that they called music and to come home and just be

@Poppysmom22 I can relate. We love our home. We've done so much to it.
I hope your neighbours got a right nutjob who filled them in 🤣🤞

The house we're viewing Wednesday has a garden and an extra bedroom. Just hope the neighbours are ok? That's if we take it?

To be honest when he asked me who we had sold it to I said oh we sold to xxx who is a well known in the area as a bare knuckle fighter with a streak of unpredictability and comes from a large community of like minded people who are fond of large parties and keep a pony in the garden. It was a lie but face was worth it.

@Ulysees well fingers crossed for you I moved into a bungalow now my neighbours here are a different kind of nutty but mainly it’s around bins and mowing and that I can live with if Eminem moves in to the street I might rethink

@Poppysmom22 🤣

@Poppysmom22 we were thinking of a bungalow.
Oh are they the type who moan if they spot a dandelion?

Fingers crossed @Ulysees

Bungalows are awesome to live in. Now it’s winter the neighbours have all gone into hibernation so I prob won’t see them again till march

Might have a rethink 🤔

I don't think you ever get over it either. I sold at a loss and I'm still resentful I had to. But there was no penalty for them officially. One side rented so as long as the rent was paid they didn't care.

Also if you have a dispute you have to declare it. The onus is unfairly on the victim.

I take some solace knowing that one side hated renters or change.

I'm in a bungalow and it's fabulous! My neighbors are quiet and keep to themselves.

But I was very particular about the area and street I bought which limited where I could live. I discounted probably lovely homes because of my concerns. I scouted this area day and night to make sure it was quiet.

I still haven't recovered. Loud music and voices set off my anxiety.

I also haven't recovered from the way out council and others treated me.

But I do think the person who bought from me either had them about their noise in a way I couldn't or the economic downturn caught up with them or both. I wish them a lifetime of misery.

I wish you all quiet homes to recover in.

Spent four years next to an absolute hellish neighbour. DH and I eventually moved. It's been 6 years and whilst I've worked through a lot of the anxiety there are some lasting effects that I don't think will ever be fully recovered from. Have absolutely amazing neighbours now though so count ourselves super lucky.

. Edit posted in error sorry