To get the children christened if DH doesn’t believe.

[Bonniebonchoco]

AIBU to get the children christened if DH and his family don’t believe. DH believes religion causes war and suffering and is not supportive of same sex relationships and is basically a tool to suppress uprising in poverty stricken counties where citizens fear the church.

I was brought up RC and would attend Church around 10 times a year with family . I went a RC school . I am very open minded and feel religion ( in all its forms ) was something which I enjoyed learning about and have taken some comfort in.
I am really open minded and never felt that religion caused me to judge others or myself . I only attend church a few times a year - Christmas and Easter .

I would like my twins ( aged 18 months ) to be christened . After much discussion, DH will compromise and allow them to be christened COE but not RC.

I do not want a big fuss made and a party. I want a low key christening during service and that’s it. I have spoken to the COE and the Reverend is happy to christen the children .However - I just can’t help feel this doesn’t make sense if DH isn’t fully on board . DH is very supportive and usually very laid back however he and his family do not like religion. I respect DH and don’t want to bulldoze him.

I am tired as I have had two babies and i just don’t know if I should press on with the christening plan and cause ‘stress’ from the opposing views . Or if this is my wish for my children then I just make it simple, organize it and do it and anyone who doesn’t want to attend doesn’t need to come .

I want the children to have the option of attending the local faith school where I attended but the head teacher has explained I will need the children christened for them to stand a chance of getting in.
DH said he will look at all schools and of this is the best suited for us the children can attended.

AIBU to push ahead ? I don’t want to cause friction but I don’t want to just people please.

@Bonniebonchoco I think what I meant to say is that it’s easy for people who don’t share your faith to belittle you and question you. It doesn’t make it any less valid or true though x

There are lots of primary schools in our town. The Catholic one is considered to be mediocre. The two most oversubscribed schools are not faith schools. The most popular one of the faith schools is CofE.

There are four state secondary schools. Again, the two most popular and most successful schools are not faith schools. The third is a Catholic school. People are mainly anxious to get into this if they can't get into either of the two that are oversubscribed - primarily to avoid the fourth school, which is perceived to be failing.

It definitely isn't the perception here that the Catholic schools are the best, but they aren't the worst options either.

I had my son baptised, we don't call it christening in my church. His dad stood with me but I made the vows not him as he has no belief. I do and consider myself a Christian. My son has been brought up in.my church we are regular attenders and he shares my faith and decided himself with no pressure from me to take communion.

Personally it seems weird to me that a c of e church would be happy to baptise your children when you are Catholic and their dad is an atheist. The c of e vicar wouldn't baptise me when I was a baby because my dad was an atheist, even though my mum was a Christian and went to that church every week. I got baptised when I was old enough to make the promises myself although My dad was a Christian a long time before then anyway.

With my dc we had a thanksgiving service for each of them when they were babies and then my 1st, 2nd and 4th children decided when they were older (ds1 was 12, ds2 was 15 and ds4 was 10) that they wanted to be baptised. Ds3 (aged 13) and ds5 (aged 9) will hopefully make that decision too in the next few years. The thanksgiving services and baptism services were very low key although we did have a barbeque in the garden afterwards for the ones held in the summer and a buffet in the church hall for the others. That's mainly because it's any excuse for a barbeque or a buffet at our church!

No you shouldnt. Let them decide what religion they want to follow (if any) when they are older rather than forcing one on them

@gemma19846 - as I said yesterday, my parents were in a very similar position to the OP, albeit it was my dad who was the churchgoer, and my mum who was the atheist.

They decided to have my sister and I christened, but then mum and dad waited until we were old enough to make our own decisions about religion - we both ended up going to church, and singing in the choir for years, and my sister is still a regular churchgoer, but I'm not. I never felt that, having been christened forced me to be a Christian or a churchgoer.

So I would argue that it is perfectly possible for the OP to get her dc christened without anything being forced on them.

I had a blessing for my DC when they were just born as we were both in ICU. I'm not religious, and my DH is very anti religion, but I wanted to say Thank you for their arrival (if that makes sense). I didn't even tell DH it was happening until the vicar arrived at my bedside in ICU. No fanfare, absolutely no fuss and even DH agreed afterwards it was lovely.

This is how I feel too, especially about faith schools. Neither DH or I wanted to christen our children though.