What's your timeline for throwing away wedding invitations?

[sockmuncher]

A relative dropped off her wedding invitation on Saturday morning.

I complimented the beautiful invitation. Then I copied the important details into my calendar and set the invitation on the side with the recycling.

We chatted on for a few hours & had a lovely catch up.

She has text me today to say she's been wondering whether to say anything or not but shes hurt the invitation was 'dumped' so quickly. It's got my back up, I appreciated the invitation and how beautiful it was but how long should I keep it for so it's been appreciated enough?

I'm not going to send anything back other than to apologise for hurting her feelings, but i have done this with every wedding / party invitation. Am I in the minority?

I keep it until the wedding is over

It's very rude that you threw it away in front of her, she probably put a lot of thought into choosing the invite, meaning in the wording etc not to mention they can be expensive. It may be practical once you have copied the details but have some more tact next time. You owe her an apology.

In future, I'll at least wait until the person has left the house before I bin any invitations.

Yes, I think we can agree that this is the bare minimum of common politeness.

You owe your relative an apology, by the way. I am absolutely speechless that you binned it in front of her. Did you rip it in half for good measure?!

I'm surprised she bothered to stay and chat to you, I wouldn't

As others have said, you should have at least thrown it away after she had gone. I think you should apologise to her.

Same as many others, it would have been photographed for venue location/times etc, added to a calendar and then binned - once the giver had gone home!
I don’t like paperwork and am paperless as much as humanly possible so to me things like cards etc are pointless clutter.
I do put my birthday cards up but recycle them the next day, dc have their cards up for a few days but then they go. Christmas cards are opened, read and directly put in the bin.

Savage

Gosh, I’m not surprised she was hurt (though I’d have fumed to myself rather than mentioning it to you)! I keep them on the mantlepiece until after the wedding because a) they’re pretty, b) they’re exciting and it’s nice to visibly have things to look forward to, c) they have info on timings, directions, accommodation, gift lists etc that I’ll need to refer back to. After the wedding I stick them in a drawer where I’ll stumble across them a few years later and think “that was a good wedding”. I don’t think I’ve ever actually thrown one away!

It was briefly awful and then it was fine. I would have 100% assumed it was entirely my error and crawled out in shame if I hadn't had the invitation in my bag.

You binned it in front of her? Jeez OP that is a bit much. I'm not surprised she was upset.

I’m fascinated by how differently prople regard cards. I keep birthday cards up for a month. I actually don’t like it when there’s no family birthdays or other cards to display.

Yeah, the problem isn't that you binned it, it's that you binned it in front of her when you'd only just read it!

i wouldnt do it in front of her-up to you how long you keep it though

Surely there was more on the invite than just a time and date tho op?

Multiple locations usually, nothing for food options? Map? Details like wedding colours?

Ay the very least I'd have popped it iny diary to put on later.

Assuming your reply will be a WhatsApp saying Yes or No

You learnt something from your act of rudeness.
That you hurt your relative at a time when she was bringing you joyful news.

I like to keep the invitation for reference until the wedding is over - I also take it to the wedding.
I feel happy to see wedding invitations on the fridge and I remember details when I read them often.

I can’t fathom someone that bins cards after reading them! That’s very odd perfunctory behaviour indeed.

I keep invitations until after the event. I don’t bin anything in front of the person that gave it.

Birthday cards, Christmas cards, wedding invitations are decorative and for display, not just for information purposes.

Were you dragged up by wolves @sockmuncher?

😂

Sorry, the mental image!

I don't keep them either, or birthday cards. Your mistake was binning it in front of her. I'd apologise for that.

There's usually loads of info on a wedding invitation and I don't know why you'd go to the bother of writing it all out again somewhere else?

However it's rude to throw something away in front of the person that's just given it to you (this also applies to children's artwork, no matter how much you might be itching to stick it in the recycling as soon as you hand it over) it's basic regard for the others feelings.

I would keep until the wedding. Certainly not discarding front of the bride!

Goodness knows why people are still doing paper invitations though - I'm emailing mine!

I would bin it once the date had gone as usually keep invites just to double check I get the times/location right and any other important info (so usually pinned on the noticeboard). I would throw them away just after the event and i’ve only kept very close family invites (and a spare from our own Wedding) for a memory box we have.

I definately wouldn’t have the bride see it in the recycling pile as alot of effort and money usually goes into them. Same with any invite/card - just polite to not do that in front of the sender.

I was brought up to bring the invitation to any event I attended for which I had been sent an invitation. It is probably a hangover from times when servants etc who might not know the guests personally would be admitting them so they needed to ensure that people coming in were expected; Besides which, at grand affairs guests would be announced as they arrived. As PP have said, even today at hotels and other venues for events such as weddings the same could apply.
As for recycling the invitation in front of the hostess, sorry OP but that was a total gaffe.
PS Also, in some circles, displaying an invitation to some sort of grand event has a good deal of clout!

Hang on - you binned it in front of her?! Yikes.

You clearly don't see it this way but your actions signalled to your relative that you didn't value or appreciate the invitation and therefore perhaps you also won't value or appreciate the event. I know MN hates weddings and considers them a dreadful expensive chore but in the real world it's a privilege to be invited to the wedding of someone you love.

I had no idea it was the done thing to keep wedding invitations until after the wedding, and certainly not to display them!

It’s not like a birthday card that the giver has specifically chosen for you, is it? It’s the same card for everyone, that they’ve chosen to suit their tastes and is probably lacking any personalised message. It’s just for information, and you took the information.

Yes, why would you write everything down again, just put wedding on the calendar and pop the invite in the drawer later for reference, no need to display if you don't want.