What's your timeline for throwing away wedding invitations?

[sockmuncher]

A relative dropped off her wedding invitation on Saturday morning.

I complimented the beautiful invitation. Then I copied the important details into my calendar and set the invitation on the side with the recycling.

We chatted on for a few hours & had a lovely catch up.

She has text me today to say she's been wondering whether to say anything or not but shes hurt the invitation was 'dumped' so quickly. It's got my back up, I appreciated the invitation and how beautiful it was but how long should I keep it for so it's been appreciated enough?

I'm not going to send anything back other than to apologise for hurting her feelings, but i have done this with every wedding / party invitation. Am I in the minority?

Obviously enough of an issue that OP felt the need for a thread about it.

The issue isn’t about how long is polite to hold on to the invite, the issue to you binning it in front of her - extremely rude!!!

A good friend of mine works in events. They still send physical invitations to anything semi-formal or above as people just don't value electronic invitations in the same way and they have found a noticeable dip in numbers / people flaking out when they use them.

We did e-invites, though did go through a website that makes digital cards so they at least looked slightly nicer than a regular email.

I'd probably keep a paper invite/card until the wedding, just in case there is an issue with my electronic calendar, I accidentally delete the event, etc. But the day after the wedding the card would go straight into the bin without a second though.

I keep them until the event. Bit like others said, wait till they're gone is rhe bare minimum. Imagine hosting a birthday party and aunt Jane gives you a card "awesome, that's sweet" and throw it in the trash in front of her. Or at rhe wedding when you give your envelope they take the cash and toss the card at the venue😅

When I handed out my wedding invites I would not have cared if people read them, laughed at the photo - which I thought was really funny -( the equivalent of OP complimenting the card, as she said she did) and then put it aside for recycling, no.

I would not see the person not being invested in the card as them not being invested in me, or our friendship, or not being pleased about me getting married, no. I just wouldn't and I still can't see why I would.

Yes sure this is what most people do?
I think I would be hurt if you tossed my invitation into the rubbish soon after I gave it to you.

Your poor relative! That was absolutely brutal, OP.

For god's sake, don't bin cards people are kind enough to give you in front of them. That's a huge social misstep.

It seems like a bit of petty pleasure was taken in binning it in front of your relative. Nobody is that unaware. I think it was just a plain nasty thing to do.

Bollocks hyperbole really undermines your case, you know.

Quite. Wedding invitations are usually expensive, well thought out and a lot more trouble than buying a birthday card for someone. I think your actions were thoughtless and mean.

Putting it into the recycling, in front of her I think was very rude/ hurtful/ disrespectful. Fine get rid of it after she's left if you have to but you don't have to do it in front of her!

I do tend to put them in the recycling after the wedding. I also put it on my calendar but I might have missed something and I they usually brighten up the fridge.

I once helped ended up making a couple of colleagues wedding invitations.

I'd have been gutted if they'd gone straight in the bin! Took hours!

It would also be helpful if everyone who bins birthday and Christmas cards the minute they've read them, tells the sender. It would save a lot of time, money, energy and trees if they know not to bother sending them

I'd consider it reductio ad absurdum and think it's pretty effective but you do you, hun x

I think the majority of people would be put out by such rudeness.

Not too many here agreeing with you!

Birthday cards aren’t the same thing though. If you give someone a birthday card the idea is that you tailor it to them (or at least, I always choose cards I think the receiver will like, rather than ones I like) and you write at least a cursory message in it. Surely most wedding invitations are all identical and mass printed, and just have the recipients names filled in?

I wouldn’t have put it with the recycling in front of my relative (that is a bit much) but it would have gone in the recycling that evening once I’d shown it to DP.

@sockmuncher

when you get birthday cards why wouldn’t you just put them on round your fire place or coffee table or window sills or wherever op?
that’s what the vast majority of people do.
People will have selected a nice card on the basis of it being displayed in your home for a few days

I'd keep it until after the wedding.

If it was someone very very special to me, I'd keep it as a Memento.

She gave it to you, you thanked her and put it in the recycling immediately, in front of her?

It is tat that should be binned, but surely anyone who thinks the above is okay has major social problems.

I keep them until I get back from the wedding. Just in case there are details I might find useful.

Not the time/date stuff but there may be other things. e.g. one I had last year had animals illustrated on it that were important to the bridge and groom. It meant, when I came to buy a card and and gift I could refer to those animals and get something that reflected them, just as an extra personal touch.

Sometimes they are done in key wedding colours - so again, I might use that to help determine a gift or the card or wrap.

Seeing as the poster concerned appears to condone the rudeness of the OP, I don't think I'd be too bothered by their 'opinion'!

Blimey that was so rude! Chucking it the recycling in front of her? That sounds like you wanted to hurt her.

Are you engaged/married? Is it your sister?

Also I have a baby on the way and I'll definitely keep any of the cards he gives me but that's obviously a bit of a different situation.

Jeezus I never keep any of my kids cards? Why would I? What will you do with them? All in all a very strange OP.

I don't think it's rude, just honest. I bin stuff like that immediately as well.

In front of them?

That's horrible.

Sometimes they are done in key wedding colours - so again, I might use that to help determine a gift or the card or wrap.

Yes - also a good clue if you wish to avoid eg wearing the same colour as the bridesmaids and looking like you are making a passive-aggressive statement about not being asked to be in the wedding party. Ask me how I know that one. I love a good wedding but they don't always love me