What's your timeline for throwing away wedding invitations?

[sockmuncher]

A relative dropped off her wedding invitation on Saturday morning.

I complimented the beautiful invitation. Then I copied the important details into my calendar and set the invitation on the side with the recycling.

We chatted on for a few hours & had a lovely catch up.

She has text me today to say she's been wondering whether to say anything or not but shes hurt the invitation was 'dumped' so quickly. It's got my back up, I appreciated the invitation and how beautiful it was but how long should I keep it for so it's been appreciated enough?

I'm not going to send anything back other than to apologise for hurting her feelings, but i have done this with every wedding / party invitation. Am I in the minority?

You can do it as soon as you get it. Just not infront of them !!

YABVVVU and VVV rude

you binned the invitation in front of her!!!

I keep mine until after the wedding and then bin

I can’t believe how rude you have been and no wonder she is hurt

you are RUDE

As above rude even .

Because it’s an invitation and that’s like an event ticket

I keep it until the event. What if I made an error in copying the details?

recycling it in front of the relative was very rude

Wow, very rude in front of her. I keep till wedding has been. You were very rude.

I keep invitations up till the event has happened.

You were extremely rude.

I tend to keep mine on the fridge until wedding date, then recycle. I understand not doing that, but I do think it was quite rude to throw it away in front of her. But also if I were her I’d just think “hmm, that was rude, she could have waited til I’d at least left until throwing it”, rather than actually saying something.

Yeah I'd pin it on our notice board and take it down some time after the wedding.

Invites are expensive and are typically thoughtfully chosen with a lot of time spent creating it. so it was probably harsh for her to see you chuck it in the bin!

All you can do is apologise.

Being honest they usually end up in a pile of letters from school, post and assorted crap. Then I panic the day before or the morning of the wedding trying to find the details. (Spot the ADHD)

Very very rude. I would probably have taken it back and uninvited you tbh.

DP is like this, he throws away all cards as soon as he's read them. I'm not like that and I find it fascinating. He would never ever dispose of one in front of the giver though, that is so unbelievably rude. If you did that to me I'd be ready to uninvite you!

People spend a fair bit of money on wedding invitations. It was harsh to essentially throw it in the bin in front of her.

I keep until the wedding and then recycle afterwards. I kept one of mine in a keepsake box, but I wouldn't expect anyone else to have kept one!

Oooft...you treated her Wedding Invitation how I treat junk mail and flyers advertising gutter cleaning!
How rude and definitely hurtful for your relative to see that!
I keep mine until the date of the wedding had passed like a lot of people here.

Mine would be gone too..but not in front of her.

YANBU, but I probably would have waited until she left. She is BU for bringing it up and making a thing of it.

I also recycle cards as soon as I've read them.

I'll continue to dump invitations after I've copied the important detail but next time, more discreetly.

I find it baffling so many people keep them for so long! It's essentially a way of passing on information, I got the important details and that was that.

I take a photo and then bin them. I would have waited til she was out of the house.

She is being a bit precious to say anything though, does she really expect her invitation to be cherished by others? She can’t control what others do or expect the bit of card to be important to others, but in future, don’t bin it in front of the people inviting you! 🤣

I kept one that was just beautiful, with a hand made heart and a drawing...I've framed it. Shame they never actually got married.

@sockmuncher It's essentially a way of passing on information

It is much more than that though, there's an element of ceremony around designing and posting invitations. The sentiment, the excitement. It sort of shows how much you care about the event (not very much, I'm guessing) to have just chucked it away. It's kind to hold onto them for the sake of the couple. Also I've very rarely seen a unanimous 'YABU', so that tells you something

I would probably have waited until after the wedding.

If your friend could see the invitation with your recycling, then I would think that a little rude of you.

I think the way you have worded your question isn’t really the point. How long you keep an invitation is a matter of personal preference and will clearly vary. Binning an invitation you have just received in front of the person who gave it to you is very rude and very odd. The fact that you can’t see that reflects entirely on you.

I think it was a bit tactless doing it in from of her. I think they are intended to be treated like a greeting card, for display. You wouldn't read a birthday card or get well card, smile and say that's very nice, then recycle it immediately. You'd wait a week or so. In the case of an invite, I'd put it on the fridge/notice board until the actual event. You haven't technically done anything wrong, but it was impolite to do it in front of her.
I'd apologise and say that you aren't very sentimental about these things, but appreciate that it was tactless and that it really was a beautiful invite.

Another vote for for keeping until the wedding, pratically though I may want to check spellings of names etc closer to the time for cards etc (Cla(i)re, with or witout an i? Etc) as I don't trust myself to copy accurately the first time