What's your timeline for throwing away wedding invitations?

[sockmuncher]

A relative dropped off her wedding invitation on Saturday morning.

I complimented the beautiful invitation. Then I copied the important details into my calendar and set the invitation on the side with the recycling.

We chatted on for a few hours & had a lovely catch up.

She has text me today to say she's been wondering whether to say anything or not but shes hurt the invitation was 'dumped' so quickly. It's got my back up, I appreciated the invitation and how beautiful it was but how long should I keep it for so it's been appreciated enough?

I'm not going to send anything back other than to apologise for hurting her feelings, but i have done this with every wedding / party invitation. Am I in the minority?

you lost me

but in no way shape or form is the op “asking for help”! 😆

Lesson for the brides to be - your wedding budget is mostly taken up with things that look fancy, but others don’t give a damn about. Every time I purchased something for my wedding I said ‘will this benefit me or my husband?’ If the answer was no, like £1000 stationery, a car for others, hair for others, makeup for others, then it wasn’t purchased.
We paid for the outfits only and I made budget invites that were pretty but had the main info on as most people haven’t space for your designs. I’m with you OP, mine get binned! (Unless someone very special like my sister.)

we halved our wedding budget by taking out all of the above and a bit more and had an incredible day. Still lavish and used the “saved money” on a huge honeymoon in western US.

It’s kind of tacky to do that in front of her. At least have the decency and patience to wait till she’s gone. Wedding invitations are expensive so it probably felt like she wasted money on giving you one at all. Standard expectation is to hold on to it till the event but you could have at least waited till she was gone.

Did you follow the link that explains what the XY Problem is?

When someone asks "AIBU?", which in this case was asked in code "am I the minority?", they are asking for guidance. Guidance is a form of help.

@Josienpaul i said ‘will this benefit me or my husband?’ If the answer was no, like £1000 stationery, a car for others, hair for others, makeup for others,

A pretty selfish way to plan a wedding tbh. If you're having a wedding with a bridal party and guests, your budget should also be spent on things that benefit them. Otherwise just elope

Ooof that’s a bit brutal, chucking it away right in front of her. Not surprised she was a bit taken aback. Clearly you can’t keep everything forever, but maybe at least wait til she has left the house?

good grief no 😂

The last 3 weddings I've been to I haven't had an invite, I think being sent flight and hotel details for one was enough of an invite that I didn't need a proper invite!

Wow, that's pretty brutal! How did the rest of your bridal party feel to be told that you wouldn't be sorting out hair, make up, or transport for them becuase you wanted to prioritise yourself? I'd be very annoyed at being asked to be bridesmaid for a friend or family member and then be told I could sort myself out on the day (as well as helping her, which is the bridesmaid's role) because I was less important to her than being able to spend more on an upgraded holiday.

Did you feed the guests, or make them sit watching you eat the wedding breakfast, because funding other people’s food ‘didn’t benefit you or your husband’? But hey, they wouldn’t mind, because the saving funded your ‘huge honeymoon’, and if they were that hungry they could have bought sandwiches from home, right?

When someone asks "AIBU?", which in this case was asked in code "am I the minority?", they are asking for guidance. Guidance is a form of help.

😂

Exactly 🤣

Is it though? I was in my final year at uni, one income (well I worked part time) and we had a mortgage.
why spend £100 on hair and makeup per bridesmaid. They are my sister and best friend, they didn’t pay for mine on their days either because we are great at doing our own make up and hair.
Why send them in a car that they are perfectly capable of driving themselves just to show off.
most of a wedding is showing off. I’m not a show off. So I had a wedding day like most others without the smaller, costly elements that NO ONE else cared about like £1000 invitations and saved a bloody fortune!

Our day was perfect, we got into no debt and took 2 years to plan so we could save. We still have comments 10 years later about what a wonderful day it was.

Yes, it is. Don't blame your financial circumstances when you've already said you used the rest of the budget for a boujie honeymoon. I've been a guest at a wedding where the bride and groom clearly had a similar thought process. It was very much 'their day' and their guests were an afterthought. Mind you, even they paid for kilts, bridesmaid dresses, hair and makeup!

Why would you want your bridal party to drive themselves to the venue? Did they drive themselves home after too, so nobody could have a drink? Did you provide your other guests with a meal? Any drinks? A bus home?

Our day was perfect too and we got into no debt, but I'm proud to say I was a generous host.

I don't see why I would keep something just because someone wanted to spend too much on it, what you spend is personal choice. You can still buy the ones you just fill out, which is what I used.

I love that you asked what's your timeline, when yours in zero. At first I thought you were just rude but having read your responses I see you are just practical and little bit rude. (And quite self aware and funny)