What's your timeline for throwing away wedding invitations?

[sockmuncher]

A relative dropped off her wedding invitation on Saturday morning.

I complimented the beautiful invitation. Then I copied the important details into my calendar and set the invitation on the side with the recycling.

We chatted on for a few hours & had a lovely catch up.

She has text me today to say she's been wondering whether to say anything or not but shes hurt the invitation was 'dumped' so quickly. It's got my back up, I appreciated the invitation and how beautiful it was but how long should I keep it for so it's been appreciated enough?

I'm not going to send anything back other than to apologise for hurting her feelings, but i have done this with every wedding / party invitation. Am I in the minority?

Then I copied the important details into my calendar and set the invitation on the side with the recycling.

so basically you binned/put with the recycling front of her, really that is poor behaviour.

No, I bin them after reading them. However, not in front of the person who has just given me the card.

So why with a wedding invitation did you do it in front of the invitee? Whats the difference between people giving you a birthday card or an invite?

I usually keep things like that until the memory of the event has faded. I was a bridesmaid to a friend and kept hold of all the invite stuff and details of the few days around the event until a recent declutter two years on. I'm probably too far the other way but I'd have probably displayed a pretty card on first receiving it.

It can be venue specific. I got married in a little chapel in Edinburgh castle grounds. Guests had to bring the invites so security would let them in. There’s a special tunnel underneath so you can take cars on-site.

I think this is very poor etiquette on your part.

The bride to be has gone out of her way to pick a certain design, gone to the trouble to make up a guest list ensuring names are spelt correctly, sorted a printer and/or arranged for someone skilled at calligraphy to write out the names and no doubt paid through the roof for it all......only for you to look at it for key details then discard it!

You should have put it on display and then, if you wish, discarded it after the wedding.

I'd keep it until at least she had left the house...🤣 I'd probably keep it till the wedding was over but only cos I haven't got a calender.

I keep until after the wedding. They often have important info on, no?

I have got the sentimental spirit of a dead slug so always bin invitations and cards pretty soon after opening. But you were very rude to do it in front of her!

Next time OP don't bother commenting on how lovely the card is. Your actions completely undermine your words even if you did think the invitation was attractive.

She'll probably relate this to your friendship circle and you'll never be bothered with such tat again if you're lucky.

You chucked it away IN FRONT OF HER?

I wouldn’t bother. A number of us have tried explaining this already.

YABVU to put it in the recycling pile while your friend is still there OP.

If it really was a lovely invitation I would display it for a few weeks on the mantelpiece in the lounge.
If it was for someone who I was likely to see again before the wedding, I would keep it on display longer.

I'm autistic and this is exactly the kind of thing that I would do until someone explained to me why I shouldn't.

https://blog.gimm.io/business-card-etiquette/ explains the expectations surrounding giving and receiving business cards. Birthday cards and wedding invitations are subject to similar expectations surrounding how you treat the card whilst the giver is still present.

On receipt....

Throw away or save forever. The choice is yours. Nothing to do with anyone else.

You do realise bin men work full time and every day, different roads have different pick up days.

flipping heck. I think @Anisette thinks everyone in the country (world?) has their recycling collected on a tuesday 😂

The OP did say the bins were taken on Tuesday

I keep them all. I am a bit nuts though.

I’ve got wedding invitations in my cupboard that have lasted longer than the marriage 😂

" It's essentially a way of passing on information, I got the important details and that was that."

Well no because she was seeing you so she could have just told you or emailed you. If it's a nicely printed invitation, it's a bit more than that.

Also you say bin cards as soon as you receive them. Birthday and Christmas cards are designed to be displayed. That's why there's usually a nice picture on the front. Otherwise it's the same as just saying 'happy birthday' isn't it?

I bet you have a very tide house though.

Quite rude to bin it in front of her. People spend a lot of money on invitations thinking that they'll be appreciated and put on the mantelpiece. (Obviously you might think "more fool them, why not just send an email?" but that's obviously not what OP's relative thinks.)

This thread has reminded me that 20 years ago we always used to have a mantelpiece covered in stiffies, usually saying "Mr and Mrs John Smith request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter..." or "Mrs John Smith at home..." Feels like a lifetime ago, now it's a Whatsapp 😂

I must be in the complete minority here - I couldn’t care less about cards and invites and, despite having two children, have never sent a thank you card to anyone with a picture of my child on it 🤣 So it might come as a bit of a surprise to everyone that I have plenty of friends and not considered rude or a social outcast in anyway 🤷‍♀️ I thank my family and friends in person or by text/WhatsApp, rather than sending notes or cards - I don’t have time for all that faff. Any birthday cards/invites/thank you cards I’ve received over the years get binned pretty quick. I’m also shit at taking photos to ‘capture memories’ and remind me of things - but I’m perfectly happy with my life, have a lovely family and wonderful friends. I’m not sentimental about ‘things’, just people 😊

I keep it until the day of the wedding. It goes on the fridge. If there’s been a Save the Date beforehand it will replace that. I’ll bin it after the wedding has passed. I sometimes keep them if I’ve been a bridesmaid etc or it’s someone we’re particularly close to, and will put them in my keepsake box. I think it’s fine not to keep it for ages (especially if you don’t have space or the wedding is a while away) and if you have the relevant info written down, but definitely don’t do it in front of them! As someone who spent hours planning, designing and putting my wedding invitations together I’d be really upset if someone put it straight in the recycling in front of me! It’s like you giving someone a card for their birthday and they throw it away immediately in front of you. If you hadn’t done it in front of them I very much doubt they’d have looked for it next time they were at your house and wondered where it was, it’s just them seeing it which is rude.

Wow. I would have been really annoyed too. Whilst it may seem like a bit of paper, someone (your friend) has put time, effort and money into making something nice…

This is interesting. I've never thought of cards or invitation being just for information. The fact that there was a conversation about the invitation being so nice shows some effort was made. I think of these things being decorations too so I always keep them up for a week.