What's your timeline for throwing away wedding invitations?

[sockmuncher]

A relative dropped off her wedding invitation on Saturday morning.

I complimented the beautiful invitation. Then I copied the important details into my calendar and set the invitation on the side with the recycling.

We chatted on for a few hours & had a lovely catch up.

She has text me today to say she's been wondering whether to say anything or not but shes hurt the invitation was 'dumped' so quickly. It's got my back up, I appreciated the invitation and how beautiful it was but how long should I keep it for so it's been appreciated enough?

I'm not going to send anything back other than to apologise for hurting her feelings, but i have done this with every wedding / party invitation. Am I in the minority?

Considering how much time and effort people put into the invites I can’t believe you threw it out in front of her! 🤣 what was the point in her giving you an invite at all? She could have text you if you were just going to throw it away.

So would you throw away birthday cards in front of the person who gave them to you too?

Also why did it get your back up? She was the one who was upset, not you.

It’s so awful but kind of hilarious!

I have one on my fridge and I intend to keep it until after the day. One it's polite and two it's nice to see it and get excited about the day!

My SIL does this - sends videos and photos instead of a thank you card. Everyone else thinks she's really rude for it, including her own family. Sending photos of the child using the gift is fine, and thoughtful, but it's as well as the thank you card, not instead of. Having said that, I find Christmas thank you cards a real chore and we often don't get around to them until mid-January. We're better with birthdays.

This is such a sad thread - I know some people don't really "get" cards, my partner sure doesn't, but even he puts cards we receive up for a while to see. It's such a little thing but we have to enjoy the little things.

Yeah that was rude. She may as well have just text u the details rather than waste time and money on an invitation

Thank you cards have not been a thing at all for at least 15 years. They are optional. A thank you text or WhatsApp has replaced this in pretty much all situations. Perhaps to grandparents only might be appropriate but only if you want to, it's not rude not to at all.

I hate invites, cards, any sort of clutter. I’d do the exact same in taking a photo/recording the details then binning. But I wouldn’t do that in front of her.

Ps I made a wedding website and sent guests the link via WhatsApp so I’m definitely not the crafty sentimental type

Actually, if I care enough about you or your baby to send a gift, I would really appreciate a hand written card with a photo or two on it.

You will probably be offered professional photos of your child from nursery onwards. I hope you don't give copies to anyone who promptly bins them.

I think it’s really rude to put it with the recycling while she’s there! I would usually keep invites until the event

Not in my experience. Baby thank you cards are still sent and received by people around me, and sent to people of all ages

In the last year I would say I received 4 or 5 from senders in their 20s so not an old people thing. And I am no where near grandparent age

Its been years since we’ve sent or received thank you cards. It’s so easy to contact people by phone/text/WhatsApp etc now, and you can have a conversation rather than just getting a card which is nicer imo.

so much of life must make you “sad”

She’s thanking you, and sending you a personalised thanks as you’re getting a picture of the child wearing/playing with whatever you’ve bought them. Why does she also need to spend money (and use up paper) sending you a physical thank you card in order to not seem rude?

I really hope she never finds out that her own family think she’s rude for not thanking them profusely enough with a card that will probably go in the bin as soon as you’ve read it. Or do people display thank you cards too, and that’s something else I’ve missed?

You said it was a lovely invite and she probably spent a lot so to just throw it away immediately is really odd! At least wait until she isn’t there. I’d be offended too.

I always take it to the wedding. I have no idea why! Then usually find it together with a service and my name card when I dig the bag out for the next time.
Chucking out in front of the bride is ballsy but it has made me laugh.

How rude are you! Christ

id usually stick that sort of thing onto the fridge with a magnet

There’s no right answer, apart from NOT IN FRONT OF THE DAMN BRIDE

Sometimes it amazes me these people walk amongst us.

I keep invitations until the event so that I have the correct details to hand. I don't really get the point of transferring all the information somewhere else when it's already written out for you on a handy card you can keep until the day.

I keep them on the fridge until the day of the wedding. Or filed away somewhere. If you had 20 weddings to attend a year I'd understand not keeping it but to bin it in front of her is weird. To even copy it into your calender and bin it is absolutely rude and odd behaviour.

And so much of it seems to make you make assumptions?

Same. I sent thank you cards when my kids were born (they are all under 9) and I have friends and family who still do.

Nah we have the chat about how lovely the invitation is as we are women abs we recognise that someone has put a huge amount of (in my opinion unneeded) time and cost and effort into so we politely say it's lovely and wow etc.

Can you imagine one man ever commenting another man on the loveliness of an invitation?

We all have careers and busy lives but us women also have to be pretty and creative and do our embroidery (or whatever Jane Austin ladies did)
See also flowers at weddings and favours and bridesmaids proposals! None of them make a good wedding over decent food and considering guests comfort.