What's your timeline for throwing away wedding invitations?

[sockmuncher]

A relative dropped off her wedding invitation on Saturday morning.

I complimented the beautiful invitation. Then I copied the important details into my calendar and set the invitation on the side with the recycling.

We chatted on for a few hours & had a lovely catch up.

She has text me today to say she's been wondering whether to say anything or not but shes hurt the invitation was 'dumped' so quickly. It's got my back up, I appreciated the invitation and how beautiful it was but how long should I keep it for so it's been appreciated enough?

I'm not going to send anything back other than to apologise for hurting her feelings, but i have done this with every wedding / party invitation. Am I in the minority?

That's funny. Thinking about my family, my great gran loved clutter and was quite chaotic, her daughter grew up to love order and wasn't overly sentimental with possessions! My mum rebelled against my grans order and is a complete cluttery, messy person and because I grew up with that, I don't keep unnecessary things and prefer order! I only have sons so it will be interesting if I turn them into messy hoarders 😆

Those of us who are more visual like flowers and nice cards to look at. Perhaps not your thing but don't belittle it as for women from another era.

OP i think you're maybe missing the point. Its not really about how long you keep it for its about the insensitivity and tbh rudeness of basically throwing it away in front of her. She spent time choosing them probably putting a lot of thought into the design and money into them and you just put it into the bin

Exactly this! While I can appreciate there's some that will keep a wedding invitation for eons and there's others that will bin as soon as they can... what on Earth possessed you to do it in front of the bride the minute you got it?

My friend hand-made each one of her wedding invitations for 200 people, it took her months! Imagine someone binned it in front of her minutes after receiving it???
Personally, I think she was mad to go to such effort - mine were nicely printed- but that's her thing.

OP has been told now, but I still think she'd do the same thing tomorrow.

I don’t think it was unreasonable at all, what a lot of fuss about nothing. Weddings can make people incredibly self obsessed. Think fine and normal to throw away an invitation. If you’re spending the usual vast sum of money to attend the wedding, buy clothes, present etc, I’d think that’s what matters to anyone with an ounce of perspective.

@Edi8

would it really have been detrimental to op to just wait until her friend left to dispose of it for spare her feelings? Really? People can be so selfish these days

fine to recycle - agreed

but @Edi8 you honestly think fine to bin in front of the person inviting?

I don’t think it’s a big deal that it didn’t occur to her it’d be an issue. It’s such a minor thing. I hate when people think their wedding and all things to do with it should be everyone’s priority

Presumably she just didn’t think it’d hurt her feelings, because it struck her as not a big deal.

The over reaction on this amazes me. It’s like she punched her in the face.

where does that behaviour come across? where does it imply this woman thinks her wedding is the be all and end all?

so to be clear @Edi8 you would open an invite in front of the person who has hand delivered it, and then put in bin immediately?

rather keen on a bit of hyperbole yourself there

Nothing wrong with getting rid of it but I wouldn't do it in front of the person, that's a bit tactless, considering the invitation will have a lot of meaning to them. Personally, I'd probably keep a pretty card on display for a week then recycle it.

Think it’s really rude to put recycling when she had literally just given it up you?! At least wait until she had left your house. I keep things like that until after the wedding/party

Yeah all you had to do was wait until she left lmao.

My invite is framed in mine, my mum and my mother in laws house in big frames with photos from our wedding and pressed flowers etc. I'm not upset that obviously other people will have chucked theirs but I'd have been upset if they'd done it 5 minutes after receiving it and in front of me. Whenever I go to friends houses their fridges or noticeboards usually have a few wedding invites pinned up, they're a nice way to remember you have the event and it's nice for them to look nice whilst doing it.

lol. There’s pages and pages of horror because someone… recycled an invite 😂😂😂

be honest

when was the last time you weee invited a wedding?!

not necessarily the woman (tho she did ring and mention it which IMO is a bit extra) but a lot of the comments on here seem somewhat OTT about weddings. For some people they’re just not that big a deal. You can’t always expect everyone to be attuned to every element of your wedding and tiptoeing round things like invites in case they’re expensive.

😂😂😂 ‘You don’t agree with me so you must be a horrid person with no friends’.

you’re very giggly this afternoon @Edi8 !

But presumably she didn’t know it would spare her feelings cos she didn’t think it would hurt her feelings. Of course if she did it intending to be rude, then that’s different. But I think she just did it because it didn't occur to her to do otherwise - and I guess I don’t think that’s a biggie.

as you can see on this thread

many many many of us have zero issue and indeed themselves would… recycle an invite. i would as soon as they’d walked out the door

but many many many of us agree that would be hurtful to be binned directly in front of the person handing over

so the reason i ask… is that you’re sure none of your friends would feel the same as the vast majority of people on this thread?

But presumably she didn’t know it would spare her feelings cos she didn’t think it would hurt her feelings.

clearly

but it shows a glaring lack of thought for a close friend

But thinking differently to others isn’t a sin. I think there are worse acts perpetrated within friendships quite regularly. My view - which I’m allowed - is that it’s an irrelevance.

* I think there are worse acts perpetrated within friendships quite regularly. *

and no one has said or alluded to thinking otherwise