What's your timeline for throwing away wedding invitations?

[sockmuncher]

A relative dropped off her wedding invitation on Saturday morning.

I complimented the beautiful invitation. Then I copied the important details into my calendar and set the invitation on the side with the recycling.

We chatted on for a few hours & had a lovely catch up.

She has text me today to say she's been wondering whether to say anything or not but shes hurt the invitation was 'dumped' so quickly. It's got my back up, I appreciated the invitation and how beautiful it was but how long should I keep it for so it's been appreciated enough?

I'm not going to send anything back other than to apologise for hurting her feelings, but i have done this with every wedding / party invitation. Am I in the minority?

I definitely would not have let her see it was in the recycling pile!

She’d probably spent ages choosing them and they will not have been cheap, so I can understand her offence.

I would be keeping it either, but I’d be discreet about it.

😂😂😂This is what I love about Mumsnet. Major overreaction.

I also throw invites directly into recycling as soon as they are in the diary but I do at least wait until they have left!

Same with cards. Messy untidy things. I don’t send them either.

I agree. I recently had a baby and making a personalised card of the baby was much easier than sending out individual photos of the baby wearing gifts given.

My husband would do this. He is on the autistic spectrum and would see it exactly as you do Op. He is 61 and has learned that this is not acceptable to do this in front of the giver. I would take the invitation and put it on the mantlepiece until after the wedding.

If you put it in the recycling in front of her that's a bit harsh. But once she had gone I would have photo'd the invite and then disposed.

Me too 😅

“I would say a child will give even less of a toss than me about cards so we will still bin them as soon as we've read them.”

good luck with that. Mine love this cards and want to keep them forever. It’s a constant negotiation re what can be recycled. There would be massive tears if I binned them immediately: you’ll have to compromise a bit there.

See this is the problem because you see the invitation and cards are just information to you. you attach no emotion to them they have no sentiment it's just words and information.
To the person sending the invite or card it's a personal thing that they put time and effort in to designing or choosing the invite and with a card writing a meaningful message or choosing one with a nice verse your response to their effort is to discard it as it holds nothing for you but information.

I'd at least keep it until the wedding. Throwing it out in front of her is incredibly rude.

Doing it in front of her was really rude.

But no need to keep once she has gone.

I’d get rid as soon as I’d put the details in my diary. Though I wouldn’t display it in the meantime. It would be in the kitchen drawer.

I’ve also binned all of my kids’ drawings. I took pictures first though. Their ugly pottery is still on display.

I bin them once I’ve taken a photo. If they’ve spent time and money on them, that’s their choice, it holds no sentimental/emotional value to me. A friend of ours had a beautiful wedding but sent invitations by text, I loved that.

I think some people spend too much time and money on things like invitations and then get way too invested. They expect others to feel as strongly about these things as they do and lose sight of reality.

I would personally prefer not to do cards at all - much prefer a message or text - but as others have said, I probably would have waited until she'd gone to recycle it.

One friend of mine did her invitations on card filled with wildflower seed, so you were supposed to throw it away (kind of). That's my kind of wedding invitation!

@mawik, I still have a couple of those big, boxed birthday or Valentine’s cards, sent by my father to my mother. They were married just before WW2 really kicked off but he was already in his naval uniform - I still have the boxed ‘lucky horseshoe’ thing she carried for her wedding.

He died in 1988, she went on to 2015 - after she finally moved to a care home (dementia) I couldn’t bring myself to chuck any of them.

I think I’ll have to one day, though - one dd is especially sentimental and would hate binning such things, and she has more than enough ‘stuff’ as it is!

Hahaha you're pretty rude, no wonder you're suprised at her message and your back is up, you've got no idea how to behave properly 😂🤦‍♀️

lol wtf 😭😭😭

Oh wow!! I keep it until the event has passed, I think most do??

It just seems like unnecessary effort to copy it all out. I'd probably write "Jane and Ben's wedding, Norwich" in the diary but I'm not going to faff about copying out "St Mildred's, postcode, 12.30 then Fancy Hotel, postcode. Accommodation at hotel or also at X travelodge. RSVP to janebenwedding@specialemail and remember to confirm 1 vegetarian".

Keeping the invitation is far easier.

Op how did she even know you had put in the recycling?

oh good grief

right in front of her you dumped in the recycling

AIBU to recycle a wedding invite? absolutely not

AIBU right in front of the invitee following her delivering in person? fucking rude and thoughtless

or at least wait until the invitee hand delivering the invite has left your home!!!

Keeping or not keeping an invite is down to personal preference (depending if it’s needed for the actual event) to throw it away in front of the host was just plain rude.

This is funny, if it's true! Can't believe you dumped it right in front of her 😂
She prob spent ages and a small fortune on those!

Re binning cards: I make gift tags from cards I get sent at Christmas and birthdays unless they are ones I want to keepsake or are unsuitable to make a gift tag or 3 from