What's your timeline for throwing away wedding invitations?

[sockmuncher]

A relative dropped off her wedding invitation on Saturday morning.

I complimented the beautiful invitation. Then I copied the important details into my calendar and set the invitation on the side with the recycling.

We chatted on for a few hours & had a lovely catch up.

She has text me today to say she's been wondering whether to say anything or not but shes hurt the invitation was 'dumped' so quickly. It's got my back up, I appreciated the invitation and how beautiful it was but how long should I keep it for so it's been appreciated enough?

I'm not going to send anything back other than to apologise for hurting her feelings, but i have done this with every wedding / party invitation. Am I in the minority?

Very insensitive to do it in front of her

I find it odd to throw them in the bin straight away but doing so in front of the bride I find rude.

If you dont want to put the on display/noticeboard/calendar type of thing, thats your choice but do that after the person has gone. I personally often keep stuff like this as well as postcards from people. I wouldnt throw invitations until after the event.

Don't people put invitations on the mantelpiece any more?

@sockmuncher I think you were discourteous and undermined the importance of a significant life event.

I wouldn’t have said anything, but I would judge you.

Each to their own, but this thread and your attitude has made me quite sad. I don't throw out wedding invitations.

I still have invitations from my Grandparents wedding (obviously before I was born). I have cards that my Grandparents sent my Parents. All of them have passed, and it's lovely to read what they wrote to each other.

And it was incredibly rude to throw out the invitation in front of her.

You can’t say that at all because you have no way of knowing.
i have one who doesn’t even want cards. One who’ll open them and leave them lying around for a bit.
One who will keep them for a week or so and then keep any that they like for the artistic value.
and one that will hoard them all and will need convincing to cull them at some point.
All the same parents with the same attitudes to cards.
If you just decide to chuck out your child’s card they may get very upset. You may even make them become the kind who holds onto things just in case.

To summarise what you did…took the invitation to one of the (presumably) most important days of this persons life and IN FRONT OF HER discarded it…? You can keep it for as long or as little as you like but you’ve been ridiculously rude.

Haha. My highly disciplined friend who lives in a perpetual war against unnecessary clutter has managed to produce two hoarder children. That’s the thing about babies: they develop personalities and their own ideas very early indeed, and they have a real knack for rebelling against their parents in the most unexpected of ways. The more militant you are about binning birthday cards, the more likely you will create one of the archivists on this thread . Best buy shares in memory boxes!

I take it this is your first child 🤣
I have 3 DCs, they love their birthday cards and would be gutted if I just threw them in the recycling. Hopefully once your DC is here you wont be so heartless with their things. Atleast give them a week on display

You were so rude. Its almost beyond belief!
Small children love looking at their birthday cards and they are a great tool for talking about pictures ,who sent them etc.
Do you bin books as well once you have read them? Small children like reading the same book over and over again.

Haha, OP have you ever even met a kid?

Yes OP, to answer your question, you absolutely are in the minority for being so utterly cold-hearted, ignorant and lacking in social skills.

Coldhearted and ignorant ... the dramatics on this thread! OP has already said she did wrong and sorted it out with her friend.

Our birthday cards stay up for one week and then are recycled. They're like a decoration for the birthday. Some special ones are kept. I love looking back at hand written cards from my grandparents who are no longer with us. I think you can be too minimalist. However I would bin the wedding invitation, just not in front of them.

I've binned school photos of my in laws kids before now. Why do relatives think you want to display school photos of their kids in your home?

@sockmuncher

oh yeah, you thought the invite so lovely you couldn’t wait to get rid of it - literally.

you can think an invite is lovely but not want to keep it. Why? to gaze at it admiringly?!

Totally unreasonable to recycle in front of giver. I would be hurt.

Totally reasonable not to want to keep just for the sake of it and pop in the recycling after she’s left

I'm so curious how far this goes! Indulge me OP, somebody buys you a bunch of flowers, do you put them in a vase to admire for a few days or do you admire them for a few moments then into the compost they go?

Why do relatives think you want to display school photos of their kids in your home?

because some people definitely do want to do that! Or in a scrapbook.

are you young enough that printed photos haven't really been a thing in your lifetime? (Lucky you if so!)

I wonder if she’ll even eat at the wedding breakfast? Or will she just say “It looks lovely” then chuck it down the toilet to cut out the middle man?

This . Really rude .

I pin mine up on the notice board in my kitchen and only get rid of them once the event has been and gone. I do this with all invitations but it’s not really for any particular reason so I’m not saying that’s the right thing to do

I wouldn’t bank on that.
I do put cards up but then bin all but those from my daughter - I don’t understand sentimentality around cards.
She has an entire drawer full of cards, including Christmas cards from random classmates she isn’t even friends with - she won’t throw any away and has even taken them out of the bin when I have 🙄🙄

I put all our Christmas cards in the recycling as soon as I’d read them. Definitely too much clutter. Didn’t do it in front of the senders though.

I tend to keep invites to weddings. Mostly so on a dull evening I can look back and see how many couples are now divorced. However, recently arranging DS christening, I made a pretty invite on the computer and text people the image as their invite. Much cheaper (printing / postage etc) and more environmentally sound - also I think a lot of people just bin them anyway! Did print an invite for one elderly relative who doesn’t have a smart phone. She doesn’t have the invite yet but has been text the details. I think card invitations and cards more generally are probably going to disappear at some point. For good or for bad.

Flowers and wedding invitations entirely different to me. I hate getting flowers. I probably would put them in a vase but resent it. Whereas an invitation has a purpose and a practical use with the information it includes.

None of the immediate chucker outers have explained how it's less hassle to copy out multiple bits of information about tomes and dates and locations than it is to just keep the small card with that info already in

Agree with a lot of posts to do it in front of her is a wee bit of a social faux pas and that’s what will have upset her whereas if you just waited until she had left she would never have known.