What's your timeline for throwing away wedding invitations?

[sockmuncher]

A relative dropped off her wedding invitation on Saturday morning.

I complimented the beautiful invitation. Then I copied the important details into my calendar and set the invitation on the side with the recycling.

We chatted on for a few hours & had a lovely catch up.

She has text me today to say she's been wondering whether to say anything or not but shes hurt the invitation was 'dumped' so quickly. It's got my back up, I appreciated the invitation and how beautiful it was but how long should I keep it for so it's been appreciated enough?

I'm not going to send anything back other than to apologise for hurting her feelings, but i have done this with every wedding / party invitation. Am I in the minority?

Wow yes you were extremely rude to do that whilst she was still at your house, I can understand her feelings. She probably spent a long time choosing the right invitation for her wedding and a lot of money getting them printed and you just practically bin it in front of her. Rude.

Thank you! :)

I would say a child will give even less of a toss than me about cards so we will still bin them as soon as we've read them.

This! OP that was so rude!

I would bet my house that the child will want their birthday cards up.

I find your behaviour and attitude utterly bizarre and rude.

I take a photo on my phone and then bin them. I enjoy a wedding but I’m not sentimental about the actual invitation, it’s just a way of telling you the venue, day and time. Last year we went to 2 weddings and both emailed the invitation which I thought was better.

Some people seem to think their wedding day should be as special to you as it is to them. I think she was ridiculous to bring it up with you and I think she’ll feel a bit of a twat in years to come for doing that, but hopefully you will also wait til a guest leaves before binning something they’ve given you in future. 😅

You were rude to throw the card away literally in front of the bride!! Very thoughtless. At least wait until you have RSVP'd!

It’s very rude to do it in front of her! Wait until she’s left. I’d be mad too.

Very rude to throw it away in front it of her face.

Yanbu to put it in the recycling the same day however it was insensitive to do that while she was there. She’s also being over sensitive if it’s upset her to the point where she feels the need to message you to say so, but then she probably spent hours thinking about every little detail of the invitations so it hurt to see it disregarded so quickly.

About the same amount of time to keep birthday cards etc. So probably a few weeks.

I also prefer to put details into a shared calendar.

Seems brutal to dump in front of them though.

OP that was mean and rude to do in front of her. Wow I'd be offended to. Hopefully you'll make it up to her?

Rude

I work for a printers. People spend an actual fortune on invites these days with all kinds of incredible finishes. She's probably realised that it wasn't worth it and is annoyed more at herself, wishing she'd only done special invites for the closest of close to her. I see it a lot when they come back for menus / seating plans etc.

Me personally, I bought a pack of pre-printed ones. I mean, you either want to celebrate or you don't, regardless of the invitation quality. I'm not into this "setting the tone of what to expect"... because frankly no one cares other than bride, groom and immediate family.

I'd have waited til she left though to recycle it!

I would bet my house that the child will want their birthday cards up.

My kids were never bothered with cards, they liked decorations, banners, balloons etc but not cards. Now they’re older, they do gifts/texts with friends or say happy birthday in person but no cards. They find giving a card to someone they are in regular contact with a bit strange and we can all be in regular contact with everyone we want to be very easily now. Each to their own but cards seem to be dying out.

Can’t believe you discarded it straight away and in front of her; and I don’t like to accumulate stuff. I will keep it until the wedding or for a month at least and would display it somewhere like the tv unit

It was a bit harsh to have done it in front of her, she will have spent time and money designing it. You could have at least waited until she had gone. Would you instantly throw out a birthday card after they've been handed to you and youve read them?

Oh come on now, creating personalised thank you cards with a photo of baby takes 5 minutes in any photo or card company app!

I work in a hospital and we receive loads of these, as did the maternity and paediatric wards and clinics I visited as a patient/parent - they all have noticeboards filled with them.

Not to mention I have done the same for my babies (as recently as 2 months ago) and received the same from relatives and friends - it’s a perfectly normal social convention.

Really depends. Keep some, recycle some of them after the wedding.

But definitely never infront of the bride! She probably spent time, energy and money getting it just right. Seeing it discared probably hurt her. Even if she technically knew that you would be recycling it at some point. Knowing something and seeing it for yourself aren´t the same.

How rude. The time and effort she would have put into choosing that.

least you could have done was wait until she had left.

you owe her an apology.

I keep them stuck on the side of the fridge (with other similar things) until after the wedding

Oh dear that is very sad.

This could be me. I have zero attachment to "stuff", I struggle to care about the social rituals that people live by - though I do attempt to understand them and I "pretend" a lot. I do have a drawer-full of my DC's childhood drawings and homemade cards.

Memories of what? Cancelled events?!! 😂

I recently "found" the card my father gave me for my 16th birthday. It was absolutely lovely and made me rather emotional.

I am glad I kept some stuff (and that my mother kept some for me when I was younger). But it is a balance between keeping nothing and everything, and I do try to throw away tat etc.