What's your timeline for throwing away wedding invitations?

[sockmuncher]

A relative dropped off her wedding invitation on Saturday morning.

I complimented the beautiful invitation. Then I copied the important details into my calendar and set the invitation on the side with the recycling.

We chatted on for a few hours & had a lovely catch up.

She has text me today to say she's been wondering whether to say anything or not but shes hurt the invitation was 'dumped' so quickly. It's got my back up, I appreciated the invitation and how beautiful it was but how long should I keep it for so it's been appreciated enough?

I'm not going to send anything back other than to apologise for hurting her feelings, but i have done this with every wedding / party invitation. Am I in the minority?

It's not about "opprobrium". It's just that it's outside the experience of probably most of the posters here. It's not the norm!!

It's a fact. The vast majority of weddings do not require the guests to bring their invitations.

That's literally what some of us have been saying!!

It's the exception, and it's stated on the invitation!

And those posters are mocking the idea and calling it weird and odd rather than simply accepting that their experience isn’t definitive.

Put it this way: having the invitation in your bag costs you nothing and is never going to cause you any hassle. Not having it might do every now and again, and more often than not if you tend to go to certain types of weddings. I have absolutely no idea why this fairly simple concept has brought out such defensiveness in certain pp.

😂😂😂

I think "defensiveness" is a huge reach!!

In general terms, you are wrong. It's very much the exception to need to bring an invitation, and it will be explicitly stated.

It seems to me that you are the defensive one here!

But you don't need to write down the details, someone's already done that for you! They're right there on the small piece of card you've just thrown away 🤔

OK, this makes a bit more sense as you have clearly misunderstood my position.

I have not told anyone that they NEED to do anything. I have not told anyone that they are wrong. I have mentioned a couple of anecdotes when I personally needed to have an invitation with me in response to some very confident statements from pp that it’s always fine to chuck an invitation away after reading it. That is not something that can be right or wrong and it’s certainly not something I feel the need to defend.

I look forward to your choice of laughter emoji in response.

It's a big fat 🙄this time...

Of course you won't admit you're spouting rubbish.

Sleep well.

I would always keep mine until at least the wedding, but I think your are in a very small minority who would bin in immediately after receiving it, very rude if you and in front of her

If you need the invitation to be let into the wedding, it would say on the invitation. If it doesn’t, even people who keep the invitation or display it at home, probably wouldn’t bring the invite with them on the day.

I don’t know why you’d bother replying if you can’t be bothered reading.

Good night.

But you don't need to write down the details, someone's already done that for you! They're right there on the small piece of card you've just thrown away

People write it down on a calendar or take a photo because they don’t want lots of bits of paper/card with various dates/info/events on that may get lost. It keeps all info for all upcoming things in one place.

This, I actually think that's quite rude! Also, I quite like having them on display for a few weeks to look at

I may be in a minority here.. or just plain daft!
I have every birthday card from my grandparents, parents and children from the last 57 years!
Also have in memory box my darling mums, including a card sent by her father (who was overseas serving in WW2) welcoming her to the world, luckily he came home!, it is the most poignant card I have ever read!
l also have in same box family save the day, and invites.
I don’t have a huge family, and I love to look back at memories.
If any of my children did what you did, I would be so cross at that behaviour!

I think that's lovely actually.

I have some, and I really cherish the ones from loved ones who are no longer with us.

I remember, my mum used to scoff at cards, saying she wasn't interested in them and didn't need to be sent them.

After both parents had died, my sister and I were going through their belongings, and lo and behold, every card we had ever sent them!! My parents were the total antithesis of sentimental!

Actually just remembered, I have a card my late grandfather (whom I barely knew; I was very young when he died) sent to my grandmother (never met her as she died long before I was born) before they were married - think it's from the 1890s.

My children will probably bin all of these when I kick the bucket!!

I have all of their birthday cards too.

I would put it on the mantelpiece if the person was there but they generally end up in the post rack with other pending things like tickets, polling cards, etc. that aren't filed as needed in the next 6 months or so, so I know where it is, I wouldn't display it until the wedding as that is often a long time away.

Oh dear, agreeing to disagree would have been so much more grown up. We all have different approaches and the important thing is that each of us does what works for us.

I had quite a bit of sympathy for you and the pile-on you have received, OP, but this is unnecessarily sneery. Yes, it was my DH who took and edited the photograph of our newborn and then ‘ran around’ ordering the cards. It gave him a focus in the empty hospital hours while our baby was in SCBU and I was fighting a post-partum infection. Situations like that tend to put a bit of time on your hands.

Wow way too many sensitive Sally's here for God's sake it's a piece of paper not a bloody gold crown or anything. Ironically all a marriage is is a piece of paper. Never understood why ppl get so worked up over the littlest of things. OP yanbu the bride is BU it's a piece of paper ffs like wtaf is wrong with some ppl I really think these extra sensitive ppl that are crying over a piece of paper I worry about how they would be if they had a real world problem they'd probably just crumble. Seriously tho OP I wouldn't even bother texting her back apologising over throwing away a piece of paper wow this world has gone nuts.

That was super rude to do that in front of her. Usually people keep the invite at least until the wedding. I make handmade invitations and the amount of effort put into them, and the cost, it would be upsetting to think someone just tossed it like it was nothing.

@Grimchmas Congratulations! Please tell me you'll leave future birthday cards for your child up for a week or 2 though?

Typically you pin it to the fridge or a cork board and take it with you incase there is restricted access or security. That was really insensitive to bin her invitation in front of her

How does that work? Ohh lovely, remember the time this was cancelled.

I put mine on my fridge incase I've entered the details in wrong lol.
I guess they cost a lot of money but mine do get tossed eventually, I don't keep mine but some people do.
I probably wouldn't have done it quite so quick and in front of her.