What's your timeline for throwing away wedding invitations?

[sockmuncher]

A relative dropped off her wedding invitation on Saturday morning.

I complimented the beautiful invitation. Then I copied the important details into my calendar and set the invitation on the side with the recycling.

We chatted on for a few hours & had a lovely catch up.

She has text me today to say she's been wondering whether to say anything or not but shes hurt the invitation was 'dumped' so quickly. It's got my back up, I appreciated the invitation and how beautiful it was but how long should I keep it for so it's been appreciated enough?

I'm not going to send anything back other than to apologise for hurting her feelings, but i have done this with every wedding / party invitation. Am I in the minority?

This is horrific. I can't believe you binned it, right in front of her, right after she gave you it 😬🫣😳 wtf were you thinking??? Actually scratch that, you clearly couldn't be arsed with thinking.

It's absolutely fine that you don't like to keep invitations, cards etc (provided you don't make that obvious to the person who handed it to you).

But I'm not sure why it's 'baffling' to you that other people like to keep them. Not everyone has a minimalist mindset. What's clutter to you is treasure to someone else. I don't think it's weird that you prefer to bin stuff, but it's also not weird to keep things.

I would also add that a lot of people really love things that are on paper. For example, I can touch-type really fast and when I'm in a meeting at work I could easily just take all my notes on my laptop, but I never do. I always use a decent pen and a good quality notebook and hand-write notes. I also keep a paper journal and decorate the pages with various bits of ephemera, magazine pics, news clippings, printed photos, stickers etc. It's just a preference.

So the OP isn’t allowed to be unintentionally rude, but you’re allowed to be intentionally spiteful?

Interesting.

You’re very welcome.

I suspect it depends what sort of weddings one is invited to

It's not really obviously different from a birthday card (written by the person it's purportedly from) or a wedding invitation from a loved one.

That's a really good point, especially since the OP has come back & eaten her fill of humble pie AND it's sorted out with the Bride-to-be so absolutely no need to bring it down to that level

(as an aside I never knew people brought their invitations to the wedding!👀)

Oh and @GreyWednesday she wasn't unintentional ... she deliberately put it in the recycling in front of the person who delivered it!

That's way more spiteful.

You put it with the recycling in front of your friend?????
I would have stood it up on the mantelpiece or on a cupboard/ shelf. What I do with it after the friend has left doesn’t matter but I would probably keep it on a notice board until the date of the wedding. You were thoughtless.

Yeah in front of her is a bit harsh - it’s disrespectful to the effort of making and paying for an invitation and bringing it over. But definitely same day.

I put my birthday and Christmas cards in the recycling pretty much as soon as I receive them (the people who send them to me won't know though).

Wedding etc. invitations I keep until the event as I'm really forgetful, however they will get recycled at that point.

I do think there's a lot of of unnecessary expense with all of this and would much prefer emails tbh

To be fair, most of us aren't going to weddings in stately homes, and I imagine the invitation would clarify that it was necessary to bring it.

@EatMoreTurnips The OP has claimed it was unintentional, and that all is well with the bride now. If it was the OP’s intention to cause hurt then I very much doubt that would be the case. I trust the bride’s judgement aa someone who knows her over what we, a bunch of strangers, have read on here.

@Theatrefan12 yeah no. I ain’t putting my baby’s face on something I don’t know where will end up in the end.
also thank you in person or over the phone (text/call) is perfectly fine. I’ve sent a tonne of baby gifts and never received (or expected) a thank you card. The last thing a new mom needs is more (and frankly pointless) work on her plate.

How bloody rude!! It stays on the notice board/fridge until the date has passed. Birthday cards stay up for a week or so. I can’t believe you read them and bin them.

I spent hours making each of mine by hand so would have been upset.
i normally keep them until the wedding.

I am not surprised she is hurt that you did that in front of her eyes. It might be how you do things but that was rude. Next time wait until til the person has left.

I’m a very enthusiastic thrower out of things, but I do keep wedding invites and funeral order of services. They come in handy to remind me of dates and remember happy times and people past on…at one time we were plagued by weddings, now its more funerals!

I got married last year and am now having flashbacks to the number of drafts we went through to get the invitations right - different fonts, formatting, moving the text up a bit then down a bit then back up a bit.

I really wasn't a bridezilla at all, but if someone had chucked their invitation in the recycling bin in front of me, I think I'd have uninvited them on the spot!

Spot on. You are so right.
We don’t know the actual situation other than deliberately placing the invite into the recycling pile… which is a deliberate move… one that most people wouldn’t DARE to do in front of the invite deliverer.

I'm a bit surprised at the scenario of; open a card, read it, bin it, most people display for a few days.
Yes, you were thoughtless.

This has made me chuckle! Looking at it purely objectively, everyone knows their wedding invitations will get binned at some point (by most people anyway- there won’t be many guests that keep it), so what does it matter when- in my house it would sit in a pile of paper until I got round to writing the info down, so I’d hardly be appreciating it. In reality though, it does seem a LITTLE too soon when she’s literally just handed it to you!! Glad you’re both able to giggle about it now though!

the number of drafts we went through to get the invitations right - different fonts, formatting, moving the text up a bit then down a bit then back up a bit.

The OP shouldn't have recycled in front of friend, but I find this completely OTT.

Regarding invites - if you got invited to a Buckingham Palace Garden Party you’d surely take the actual invite with you. I don’t see any wedding or other formal invitation card as different. Some have said it’s a way of passing on information as if the information is just when and where, well in fact it’s also that you are invited. You might well know when and where but not be invited

YABVU!