What's your timeline for throwing away wedding invitations?

[sockmuncher]

A relative dropped off her wedding invitation on Saturday morning.

I complimented the beautiful invitation. Then I copied the important details into my calendar and set the invitation on the side with the recycling.

We chatted on for a few hours & had a lovely catch up.

She has text me today to say she's been wondering whether to say anything or not but shes hurt the invitation was 'dumped' so quickly. It's got my back up, I appreciated the invitation and how beautiful it was but how long should I keep it for so it's been appreciated enough?

I'm not going to send anything back other than to apologise for hurting her feelings, but i have done this with every wedding / party invitation. Am I in the minority?

Pretty ignorant to dump it in front of her to be honest
Could you not have waited the 30 min before she left

Has anybody ever commented on your manners before OP? 😂

Each to their own, but the noticeboard at work is full of thank you cards printed with photographs of babies. Not only are they cheerful to look at but they also help us remember the names of the little darlings.

I suspect it's your sister and you're jealous as you're pregnant with no ring. You wanted to hurt her.

No other explanation for it!

I usually shove them I to a drawer until the wedding, then they go into the bin. Wouldn’t have thrown it out in front of her…
but then I don’t care for cards and find displaying them tacky

I think you could be onto something here (or cousin, probably close in age). It does smack of bitchiness/jealousy

To answer your OP. Yes you are in the minority. The bride was courageous in texting you directly and rather gently voicing her dismay. Apologize to her and tell her you are honored to attend. OP do not throw away or recycle any gift or card or food item given to you in the presence of the giver. If you don’t want it wait until they are gone to dispose of it. Not only do I keep invitations and bring them with me to the wedding I actually GIVE THEM BACK TO THE BRIDE via the card drop or gift table. This is well received and appreciated by the bride who may want it for a photo collage or scrapbook or a gallery wall. Or just to have an extra.

She probably spent a fortune and / or quite a lot of time on the invitations. Fine if you want to bin it but tbh I can understand she was upset. I would apologise for being thoughtless.

This is the first time I've ever binned an invitation or card while the person is still sitting there, so no!

I got ahead of myself because I wanted to put the recycling out before the bins were brought down the drive. Now I'm pregnant my hips aren't what they used to be. I did speak for a while on how lovely the invitation was.

We talked about the wedding for ages after so she knows I'm excited about it too at least.

I've text her now and we've had a giggle about it.

This

I keep mine until after the wedding minimum. Then when I have a clear out a couple of months later, I'll throw it.

It was insensitive I reckon.

Been to many many weddings and never taken the invite, how peculiar 😂

Wow

you did that infront of her?

could you not have displayed it and then binned it when she left?!

I wouldn’t have dreamt of throwing it away immediately - especially in front of her. However, there’s no way I’d text you and make an issue out of it.

@TinderTime Jesus, that’s a bit of a reach! What an awful conclusion to jump to.

LMAO

Enough internet for you today I think.

I do the same as you @sockmuncher . Busy house of 5 and far too much stuff coming in and out of the house to keep anything unnecessary hanging about. Though personally, I'd have complimented the card, made a show of admiring it, and only when she was gone done the utilitarian thing of getting the necessary details on the calendar and disposing...

That said, I do think that your relative is being a little unrealistic, in that way people get about weddings. I mean, she's presumably handing out dozens of these, so they'll be handled in dozens of different ways that are quite rightly out of her control. Realistically, she can't control how everyone processes a bit of fancy card, can she?

You could have been more sensitive; equally she could have let it go without needing to bring it up. The Marcus Aurelius quote..."You don't have to turn this into something. It doesn't have to upset you" seems apposite.

@sockmuncher It was tactless, disrespectful and rude to toss it while she was there. Not sure why you thought it okay to do it while she was there.

But, it's sorted now with your relative. I'm glad she got over it and peace has been made.
Congrats on the pregnancy.

It stays on the fridge until after the event

A wedding invitation is something that will have been carefully designed by the B&G and usually they're beautiful and expensive. The done thing is to keep them at least until the event, if it was just for passing on vital information like you say she would have invited you over WhatsApp.

So rude to bin the invitation immediately in front of her.

It was rude to throw it away in front of her, she will have seen her time and hard work go straight into the bin.

i keep invite’s until the event is passed and all of my close friends and family know I don’t do cards so they never send them.

You were just soooo rude!

Think it might be Mumsnet that’s different from my lived experience

Well said OP. Enjoy the wedding.

You were very rude to have placed it in the recycling in front of her.

I really hope you get to see your child's drawing to someone placed in the recycling in front of you .